HEAT'S HOT SPOT: THE SEQUEL

To all the kids

2010-10-20T19:07:00.000-07:00

Having been a suicidal teenager over guilt with my emerging sexuality, the focus as of late has really brought a lot of shit back. Obviously, not only for me, but for a lot of people. I remember always having a plan to either run away as far as I could or else making a trip to the medicine cabinet in case my parents ever found out. Well they did find out when I was 16 and found a stack of printed out gay porn images that I got from my sister's internet connection earlier that summer. After having to burn them, and a confrontation where I basically told my mom that I would knock her fucking lights out if she didn't get out of my way and let me shut myself up in my room, I set my alarm for 3am so I could decide which one I was going to pursue. The alarm never went off and my Dad woke me up the next morning for school, and nothing was talked about again for the next 3 years. But I knew one thing....watch your fucking step.

Teenage suicide has always been an epidemic of its own, although its ungodly with gay youth. I'm glad that its reached the point where it is as visable now, rather than just burying your kid because he was "too sad". But there are so many misunderstood kids out there, who are not gay, that drive themselves to take this drastic act for the same reason gay kids do. They're different. God forbid any kid can be different without being labeled as something negative.
Growm ups in general, gays included, forget what its really like to have this type of torment. Probably all because we are in a place that we all choose to be at this point. When you're growing up, there is no choice, you're stuck with where you're at. Just like people from 3rd world countries would give a nut to live in a place like Omaha, so do many kids that would like to get out of their torment but have no where to go.

Parents are wrong, religeon is wrong, teachers don't get paid enough to be right, so where the hell does that leave a kid who doesn't fit in? Alone. Are there more resources now than ever before, yes. But when a person can't reach out to a person of youth for fear of being labeled a sexual predator, those resources are as good as a screen name in a chatroom. One your parents can find out about or block all together. Its a sad day for kids when the resouces are there, but they can't be used as they are intended for.

Does it get better, absolutely. But when you're living a 4 year jail sentance that is high school, things can get pretty fucking drastic. If ever there was a time for the "moral majority" to get straight, its now. That is why these kids are dying. Their parents are too busy condemning them without any clue.

Change is in the air, and my fingers are crossed. God bless all the youth that get to this point that are never ever heard about. Happens every day, and its friggin sickening.

tick, tick, tick

2010-10-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

I saw my folks today, along with my sister and her family. Was a good afternoon, especially the fact that I was invited into my sister's home after almost a year of tension between us. All is over when it comes to all of that, and we can get along and talk and laugh kind of like we always have.

My Grandpa passed away two weeks ago, and we've all seen each other for the funeral. Life is calming down for my Mom, which was one of my major concerns. Me and my sister mending a rift is helping, I'm sure. And getting together on my neice's birthday was a nice change of pace for everyone since we got together under a fun circumstance.

My mom took me aside for a minute saying she had something for me as she pulled out her purse. I rolled my eyes, expecting that she was going to give me an early birthday presant to her cash strapped son, ready to oppose and refuse. Instead she pulled out a watch that my grandpa used to wear, as well as a ring that he made himself and wore. Kept my shit together, allowed my eyes to water up a bit, and gladly accepted.

I put them both on tonight and wonder how they looked on him. The watch is pretty generic, but it might as well be a Rollex to me, I don't even want to change the band on it. The ring is another story. I think its very beautiful, masculine, and the fact that he cut and shapped the stone (its literally a stone that he buffed down and cut) it means a lot.

I didn't go see Grandpa in the last year he was alive. Everyone in the world said that we might as well be the same person (save for the sexuality bit) and I don't feel bad for not being one of the last people to be around him. If we were so alike, I wouldn't want anyone around me, let alone all the people that were. I have no regrets there. I know its cool. But my momentos are priceless and I'm greatfull that I have them as reminders of part of him.

Take care G-pa, make sure I don't lose this stuff or ill never forgive myself, lol.

reeeee-wind

2010-09-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

Just like the new season of Glee, I'm back. Either that or you can insert your herpes jokes here. Whirlwind of a summer, this bitch gets overwhelmed easily so a public break was in order as to keep a lil bit o' cooth. Here's a quick A.D.D rundown of the season:

Spent time with my buddies like never before. Never thought I could love them more than how I always loved them. JP and Shua, I love being the 3 Amigas again.

Yoga master. Had a moment with gym guy. Hot, chaste, over.

Lost my job, have been in a vicious cycle of interviews, faulse starts, and down right rejection. Temping during the day in the service industry, loving what I do again. Still DJing at my bar, looking forward to every Friday and Saturday night. Meeting new and exciting friends every week. Realizing that I'm a fun person to be around. Making new connections and earning respect through my work ethic every day.

Lady Gaga in KC was my highlight. She's around so much it gets annoying but the live show is where its at.

Met a boy I really care for and put my head in the place it needs to be. The big one, not smaller one.

Split up with said guy, but care for him knowing he did not a damn thing wrong, just didn't happen as planned.

Learned how to survive in hard times without depending on anyone else's help.

Granpa died. RIP gramps. We looked exactly alike and acted the same too, same attitude, stature, assholeness. Was harder on me than I thought it would be, but after a week of drunkeness I'm over it and know that I'm not the dead one.

Connected with someone that I can only explain as the most rejuvenating person I've ever run into by chance. I miss him when he's not around. And since I usually want all the space I can get, this is a wonderfully different feeling to me.

So that's the wrap up. Did it over my phone, so forgive the typos, if this even gets posted. I guess if you see this it worked.

Love you bitches....

Jack and Diane and a Lesbian Minogue

2010-07-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Source: NY Post July 16, 2010

The lesbian werewolf picture Jack and Diane has called upon singer/actress Kylie Minogue for a bit of a threesome.

According to the NY Post's sources, she'll play a "heavily tattooed lesbian" and join stars Juno Temple and Riley Keough.

The film concerns two girls who meet in New York City and become embroiled in a whirlwind love affair. Unfortunately, one of them is leaving the city soon and suffering visions of lycanthropy.

Bradley Rust Gray writes and directs.

Kylie, Behave!!!!!

2010-07-15T14:03:00.001-07:00

Watch where you hold that mic Kylie, ahhhhhh!

Poor girl, she's so sweet and innocent with that joyful expression on her face with her new stuffed friend. Then I go and pander to a dirty minded suggestion of an unfortunate microphone placement. Forgive me Kylie, I couldnt help it.

Love,

Heat

The New Guy

2010-07-09T15:00:00.001-07:00

Well, I met someone new over pride last weekend. Spent the past week getting to know him and have really enjoyed the time spent. I met him down on the riverfront after getting out of the parade and I was walking around looking at the pride booths and whatnot while waiting for my friends to show up. I was making my way to the beer tent when I was approached by this guy with the gay professionals neworking team and asked if I would wear one of their stickers. We chatted it up for a bit, as he put my sticker on my chest for me, and it was pretty obvious that there was some mutual attraction going on.

I left to continue exploring what was the faggiest weekend in Omaha, getting that beer from the beer tent and buying various rainbow themed things as somehow that crap really appeals to me on the one day a year. I ended up running into the “gay professional” guy again, this time him asking if I might have an extra drink ticket, as he was wanted to get a beer for his friend and himself but was short one. I liked this approach, and wonder even now if it was just a ploy to talk some more, which was perfectly fine by me. I walked with him back to the beer tent, introduced ourselves even further, talked a bit more, and ended up exchanging phone numbers.

Fast forward to a few days later and we’ve got a movie date set up at my place. We didn’t get to the movie, as we opened a bottle of wine and talk talk talked getting to know each other. Was pretty cool, there seems to be a lot that we have in common starting with being a couple of blue collar guys with two jobs each. We’re also artistic in our own rights, we both love to paint and he’s a fantastic photographer. He does a lot of community work and is always busy with something, which I find very attractive in a guy. He’s in his early 40’s, looks like he’s in his mid 30’s, very tall compared to me, maybee about 6’2, light complexion, brown eyes, very funny, and very kind, and I think really cute. Pretty different from anyone I’ve gone out with before, which is a good thing considering my track record.

So, going slow with this one, seeing what we would both want out of anything and see if they mesh well together. I feel pretty secure with him, don’t feel like theres any hidden agenda or that he’s putting up an act and will totally change in a month. Has a geniune personality and that’s pretty awesome to see in someone who you’ve only just met. Going to spend some more time this weekend and I’m looking forward to it.

Things accomplished over Pride/4th weekend

2010-07-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

Drank an enormous amount of alcohol.
Was in the Pride parade.
Saw almost every single friend I have in Omaha.
Met a guy.
Went to jail for two hours.
Did lunch with my parents.
Bought a ridiculous pair of shoes.
Spent my rent money.
Agreed to taking in a Chihuahua.
Took everything left that belongs to my ex to the dumpster.
Passed the hell out with one of my besties.
Ate like a pig.
Made new friends.
Consumed more jello shots than one should ever be allowed.
Got sunburned.
Molested some random guy on the dancefloor.
Watched some pyro.
Made a date.
Flipped of protesters.
Overshared yet again on Facebook.
And that’s just what I remember. Hopefully I wasn’t too much of a shitty faggot to anyone :-)

Just an Observation

2010-07-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM???????????............

Aphrodite-Online

2010-06-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it's here. Kylie's "Aphrodite" is posted in it's entirety online as an NPR first listen.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128109135

I'm only on the third song, but I think it's pretty amazing, as I knew it would be. Read through the article and suprised to see it reveal that there are no ballads. I hate ballads, so that makes me double happy. Can't wait till my vynils shows up along with my special edition cd/dvd. Check it out!!!!!

(Everything is Beautiful, is my favorite so far)

The CWS brings more drama than any gay bar in Omaha

2010-06-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Downtown Omaha has been a bit of a nightmare for the last week and a half. It always seems that people want to book events at the same time that the College World Series is taking place in the two weeks that it goes on. Great for revenue for the city, but an annoyance to those of us that live and/or work in the area. Everything is packed, people don’t know where they’re going or they want to stand around and gawk at everything in especially crowded areas like the Old Market. My Fays and I went out for lunch around noonish on Saturday and there were already scores of drunk as shit people stumbling around. Surprisingly enough, I’ve not yet seen near as much vomit on the sidewalks as I had expected. So that’s a good thing.

I was walking home at 1:30am from my job at the bar on Saturday night, takes me roughly a half an hour. My rules for night time walking are, I don’t speak to anyone for any reason that I don’t know, no iPod, no stops unless absolutely necessary. It’s not that I’m journeying through the ghetto, but I do a LOT of walking, and I know that if anything is going to happen to me, it’s going to be at that time of the day. Again, not that I’m worried about anything happening, just making sure I’m not a sitting duck.

In the time it took me to get home, I walked by or through 2 drunken arguments, one brawl in a parking lot, and was somewhat of a witness to a car slamming into God knows what. The drunken arguments were no big deal, if you’ve ever been drunk, you’ve been in one. Most notably was the guy screaming in his girlfriend’s face that she was a slutty whore for fucking his best friend 7 times. One of those guys who bawls as he screams. “Do you have any idea how bad that makes me feel!?!?!” “Let her have it,” thinks me, although I’m not stranger to being an adulterous slut myself. The other argument was nothing to remember, all I could tell that it was another lover’s spat as the girl “just wanted to be left aloooooooone”.

The brawl was weird; it looked like the Greasers Vs. the Socs, although in my case I think it was out of town boys Vs. Omaha thugs in the parking lot of Cubby’s gas station. This is really a super smart place to start fighting a half hour after the bars have let out and the cop shop is exactly one block down the street. Retards. It was a few blocks later that the car crash happened. I didn’t see it directly, but it happened right around the corner from where I was at and the sound alone scared the living shit out of me. There were a ton of people around that went running up towards the accident, so I didn’t go near it. I can’t handle that shit unless I absolutely have to. There was a car horn blaring and eerily enough, I could hear it until I walked far enough away that it was impossible to hear anymore. Reminded me of a scary movie where the killer crashes a car and smacks into the horn and everyone thinks they’re safe until the horn stops blaring (ala Halloween 5).

Anyhow, I got home without further incident, feeling lucky that for once I wasn’t part of any of the drama. I’m happy that this is the last weekend for the CWS so things can get back to normal around here. I will miss all the cute jock sightings and hearing my friends squeal over all the random hotties. Although next weekend is Pride for us, so it will be another busy weekend, yet one that belongs to “my kind”.

Mayor Applauds Bar Hours Vote - Omaha News Story - KETV Omaha

2010-06-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

Mayor Applauds Bar Hours Vote - Omaha News Story - KETV Omaha

Not Leavin' till we're Heavin'

2010-06-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Starting July 15, Omaha bars will now be open an extra hour, closing at 2 a.m. rather than 1 a.m. All 7 city council members voted for this and the Mayor is applauding them for doing so. Which makes me assume that they figure they can catch more drunk drivers after 2 a.m. driving around the city than they can catch the drunk drivers that rush across the bridge at 1 a.m. to catch that last hour of power in Iowa.

I’m not complaining about this, I’m also 100% for it. Every single Metropolitan City is open until at least 2 a.m. Makes us look a little less Mayberry. And I’m REALLY digging it for the fact that I just got back in the industry. 2 extra hours a week = 8 extra hours at the end of the month, like tagging on 2 more shifts a month, my income from this job just got bumped up by 25%. Not too shabby for having been back for a week. I guess that is if they keep starting me at 9. Anyhow, I’m happy about this.

I bet the bar owners in IA are pissed, as I wonder how bars like Broadway Joe’s will fair once all the faggots stay where they are in Omaha. I know that I’ll probably never step foot in there again, as I won’t need to on the nights that I have off. But I guess that’s the only shitty part about it for me though. Now my only nights off are followed by workdays at my corporate job, starting the day at 6am. Going to have to resist the urges to close the bar, I just can’t function on 3 hours of drunken sleep anymore.

But on a different note, I was contacted by a trainer at my gym this week offering to work with me for a free session. I’m going to meet him at 9 a.m. on Sunday and see how it goes. I’d actually had the thought running through my mind about hiring a trainer to keep in check with maybe twice a month, so I guess throwing a freebie my way right about now is a good idea on their part. Who knows, with this bit of extra income, maybe I could afford to see him once a week for a few months. That’d be great.

Question for the masses: Do you tip a personal trainer? I obviously will for the free session, but after that, do you offer gratitude? And if so, how much?

Namaste Mother F’ers

2010-06-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

One of the better things that I’ve done with my life in the last few months is take up yoga. I’d done yoga before, not really on a regular basis, but have always really liked it. I usually go every Monday and Wednesday after work for “power yoga” at my gym. The teacher is really good, actually she’s fucking insaine, but effective. She makes us hold our poses for a ridiculous amount of time. I’m always literally drenched with sweat by the time the hour long class is over.

One of the perks of these classes, besides greater flexibility, better balance, centering one’s self, and the obvious workout benefits is that there’s a guy who goes to every class that I ever go to that I think is hot as hell. Just my type, at least mid 30’s, muscley, shaved head (no guard), friendly, masculine but not intimidating. I know he’s gay, I’ve seen him out and about and he has certain characteristics. Like getting boners in the locker room while we shower off when class is over. Yes, this is one of my favorite parts about yoga class, the locker room dick show with Mr. Hottie.

One of my greatest mortal fears as an adolecent was public nudity with other males, as I was petrified of getting a stiffy for everyone to see. While I still have this fear somewhat, I’m usually in a lot greater control over my “zone” now than what I was at 13. But somehow this guy makes me lose it, and thank God he gets them too. While we talk a bit, it’s usually locker talk, and the subject of arousal has never been brought up. I mean really, what would you say? “Dude you know, sometimes it just gets hard, you know man?” like some terrible porno. And luckily we’re able to position ourselves so that we both have an available corner to “point North” to in case anyone else comes in, which really never happens though.

I would really like to take things further, outside of the locker room of coarse, but have my reservations. Should things go further or would everything get screwed up if there was a further experience? Is it better to lust after this guy for 5 minutes every couple of days when he’s all wet and soapy or try to have my jock and eat it too? I don’t know. I’d really like to talk to him some more at the very least, to show him that I have an interest. But then again, is it one of those situation when you open your mouth and you lose your boner? I don’t know, so I guess I’ll hold off until either I can’t take it anymore or he approaches me. All I know is I’ll enjoy what’s going on at this point in time and who knows, if things don’t work out maybee all of this yoga will result in the ability to perform autofalatio.

First Night on the job (again)

2010-06-18T13:09:00.000-07:00

We’ll I go back to work at good ole’ Flixx Video Lounge tonight. I stopped in last night to meet up with Jerret and do the regular paperwork thing and to get a crash course on the video equipment that I’ll be working with. I’m relieved to know that we’re no longer using 2 DVD players hooked up to a soundboard and manually finding the DVD that you want, loading up the disc, queing your track making sure that the volume was just right through a headset because each disc seemed to fluxuate. All of this within the coarse of a 3-4 minute song (which is why I usually opted for abnormally long remixes or played songs that were back to back on the same dvd making the pause between songs rather than fading them together).

No, kiddles, we joined the new millenium and are now all digitally stored and functionable through a new thing that we call, a computer. Can you say that after me? COM-PU-TER. In fact, they have humongous playlists already set up for what they usually play on Friday and Saturday nights, comedy clips, movie clips, concert tracks, etc. etc. “Then why do they need a VJ?” asks you. Well, my Darling, I’m better than any ‘shuffle’ program. Just because it’s listed on the ‘Friday Night’ playlist doesn’t mean it will be played, and I highly doubt that hidden jams such as Bananarama or the like will be found on thus playlist. The format has changed very much to my liking, no more Latin, no more rap.

Besides, you can’t ask a playlist to “Play Lady Gaga next!!!” and it seems like a lot of songs that they have saved aren’t available because they’re not properly titled and they need someone to go through and identify the videos at some point. This is something I’m salivating over, it’s like the name that song game magnified by 50. Plus I’ll be able to download stuff and give my musical suggestions at some point, which is right up my alley. And my drinks from now on are $2.00 a pop and I can partake in moderation while playing said music. How do you beat that, really?

Anyhow, I’m really excited to be back and can’t wait to feel like I’m a part of things again. Everyone I talked to last night made me feel super welcome and acted like they looked forward to seeing what I could do, rather than act non-responsive or indifferent. Either way, my nerves are starting to act up a bit in anticipation, but I’m more excited than anything. Literally made 2 sheets of songs that I can search for if for some reason I freeze and can’t think of anything good, but honestly just phsyching myself out over it. It’s easy, it’s not going to make or break anyone or anything, but I sure hope it turns out the way everyone expects! Have a super fun weekend guys!!!

Twice Employed

2010-06-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

Good news today. Received the word that I’m hired on again at Flixx. Almost didn’t get the word at this, on the last day of Project $20 (which turned out to be Project $25 as I had to ask a friend if I could borrow a few bucks for bus fare for the remaining week). I thought I would squeek by on the sly with my phone bill, as it was due yesterday and was still on as of this morning. Nope, right before Noon the facker shut off. The first thing that I thought of was, “What if the bar tries to call me?” as I listed tomorrow as the day I could start working, and like all things gay (such as paying due bills) we wait until the last minute to make note.

Lo and behold, I receive an Instant Message from Alisson, my friend/former co-worker/current bartender that Jarret the manager had been trying to get a hold of me and was getting a disconnect notification. How embarassing is that? At least it’s apparent to anyone with a brain that I can use this second job. Glad that I use Yahoo Instant Messanger as a work tool every day at my corporate job and most people know I always have it logged in on my work pc or my phone, when it’s working. (Note: add me if you want, whenigrowup81) Long story short, she gives me his number and I call him to find out if I got it or not.

I had initially gone in and applied as a server, as that’s what I was told they had open. While I’ll still be a server, I’ll also get to VJ. When I worked there before, I LOVED to VJ. Only there were 2 problems back then, the equipment was horrible and the night of the week that I worked was “Papi Chulo Night” playing mostly Latin Videos. Take it, I love me some Thalia, Fey, and Shakira, but I really hankered for some “real” music. Now I’m told that the equipment is new and simple, and I think that they got rid of Papi Chuloing now that the old owner who had a constant boner for Latin boys is no more. Going in tonight to learn how to run the system, hopefully they’ll let me stay all night so I can play around.

Will update tomorrow.

www.flixxomaha.com

Completely Obsessed

2010-06-11T10:06:00.000-07:00

The Real Housewives of New York City. Jill. Bethany. Ramona. Alex. Kelly. LuAnn. And sometimes Sonja.

What do I say? Other than, I apologize for not paying attention to you before this season.

Jill, you are my favorite. You are the one of the biggest bitches on the planet, and I admire that. As you put it, you’re “A New York Bitch”. I want to call myself an Omaha Bitch, but for some reason it doesn’t carry the same ‘zing’. I think you’re also the prettiest of the group, and I also think that is why all of the other girls pick on you and make you cry those tough as nails tears. Jill Zarin! I’d buy fabric from you and Bobby anyday! If I could afford it and had any use for fabric.
Favorite Quote of the season: “You told me ta getta hobbieeee, whell I ghotta hobbiieeee. It’s my hausbahhhnd, Baaaaaaa-Biieeee!”

Beth, you’re also a mega-bitch, but in a totally different way. You’re sneaky. To tell you the truth, I like it when you cry. And now that you have your own spin off show where they show your pregnant ass being all pregnant, I look forward to seeing you cry even more. Those tears might soften that cement face of yours. And how did you get a spin off? Sure that baby is Jason’s. OOOOOOO, that’s right, I went there!
Favorite Quote of the season: (referring to a fight with Kelly) “I’m done trying to explain things to Miss……..Cook-a-doodle-doo!”

Ramona, your eyeballs freak me out more than anything. And that’s saying a lot cause your personality is so damn weird. You’ve got the brain of a 13 year old girl on a cocaine binge. Your best saving grace, you’re pushing 60 and you look fantastic. And the fact that you’ve basically got a Pinot Grigio IV drip.
Favorite Quote of the season: (to Bethany) “You’ve screwed things up with Jill, you’ve screwed things up with everyone else. All you have is Jason, and I bet you’ll screw that up too.” (editor’s note: Uh-Uh she didn’t!!!!)

Alex, YOUR HUSBAND IS THE GAYEST WAD IN NYC. And you need to quit acting like a damn baby. The end.
Favorite Quote of the season: “I have a message for you Jill…….(interrupted cause no one cares) Jill, the message is……(inturrupted again cause, still, no one cares) Jill, the message that I need to give you is from Bethany (inturrupted about 7 more times, breaks out in hives, and after about 15 minutes gets to squeeze in) Bethany doesn’t want to have anything to do with you and never wants to see you again!”

Kelly, you dumb shit. You big dumb shit. You haven’t ever made sense to me, not once. You don’t really drink, you don’t really do a ton of back stabbing, yet you are the craziest one on this show. I hate you, Kelly.
Favorite Quote of the season: “Okay well, I guess I’m going to go back to my own little world of jelly beans and cartwheels where people are nice to each other” of which Ramona retorts “Okay honey we’ll see you in a little bit.”

LuAnn, you’re right, Money can’t buy you class. But it can pay for a producer to help you pen and record an awful song sans Autotune. It can also help you pay for sex reassignment surgery, and you’ve either had it, or you need it. One of the two. I kind of like you, wiener woman.
Best Quote of the season: Her opening line on every show, “I’ve never felt bad for being Privileged.” That’s why you’re privileged you fuckin’ dummy!

Sonja, nice DUI last week. You’re not that important yet until you go fulltime next season, so that’s all you get on my damn blog.

In closing, Jill Zerin, I love you Jill Zerin. Come back next season. I’ve only just found you, please don’t go away. Bethany won’t be back so there’s no reason to be upset. Until then, I’ll read your blog every day. And you need to take me out to lunch and shopping sometime. Bye hon!

Project $20

2010-06-10T13:16:00.001-07:00

Stepping into an interesting challenge here for the next week that I’ll be christening as, “Project $20”. Yeah, you guessed it; I have $20 bucks in my wallet to last me for the next 7 days (counting today). I’ve survived on the whole “5 days on $20” before and ended up just fine, but we’re going for a new record this week I guess. Obviously staying home from KC last weekend still didn’t save me any greenbacks, after spending too much on shit that was a lot of fun, but I didn’t need. But, what will be will be. I’m all about seeing how far I can persevere as of late, whether it be at the gym, my appetite, smoking, living alone without freaking out, etc. etc. etc.

The pros are: I have enough food (even if it’s stuff I won’t want, it’ll be a way to get rid of it), all of my laundry is clean, my rent and cable are both in the clear so I don’t have to worry about no entertainment or no place to be entertained at, I have a date on Saturday who’s also pretty much low on the dough so at least I’ll have someone to be cheap with, I’ll be forced to be sober and smoke free for a week.

The cons are: I’ll be forced to be sober and smoke free for a week, my weekly transportation costs run about $8 bucks so really this could be called “Project $12”, my gym membership is due 3 days before I get paid, as well as my phone payment and I always feel like a moron when I go pay for things after the payment has initially been denied, and I know somewhere someone along the line is going to ask me to do something fun that I’ll have to turn down with some lame excuse.

But on the definite upside, I might be seeing a second job coming my way in the near future cocktailing and bar backing at my old bar. Besides inspiring me even further to get into “take off your shirt” mode, I’ll be working on Friday and Saturday nights-aka the nights I would be out spending money. Although it’s not a given, I still have people I’m friends with giving me a good reference and the bar manager is still in charge from when I was there and I left him in good terms. So, kind of excited and hopeful. I’m going in tonight to see what I can muster up.

So anyhoo kiddles, wish me luck with that and if any of you want to do something this weekend…….DON’T CALL ME! 

I love/hate Facebook

2010-06-08T12:23:00.001-07:00

I’m having quite the love/hate relationship with my Facebook account as of late. Especially after this weekend. I love it for the fact that I’ve been able to re-connect with old friends, just like I did this weekend. But I also hate looking back at drunk posts that have been up for hours that everyone’s pretty much already seen, making it too late to delete, just like this weekend.

It’s not that I don’t realize that everyone that I friend can see my posts, for the most part I’m good with that. Yeah, maybe Aunt Tootie doesn’t want to hear me say the word “boner” and Cousin Kelly doesn’t want to hear about bodily functions that I think are funny. But for the most part, I think everyone knows the type of person that I am, and know that I’ve got some quirks and a really friggin’ weird sense of humor at times.

At one point this weekend one of my posts got a comment on how “vulgar” it was and “what has happened to me”. It must have been cause I used the word “cunt” in it, which I don’t particularly like either, but seriously give me a friggin’ break. If this shocks you that you would hear this come from me, then we obviously don’t know each other that well. And if you’re that prone to being offended by what I post, you have the power to change that. I talk like a 28 year old, albeit sometimes an immature one, but it’s my prerogative and I’m not going to apologize for it.

What does get embarrassing to me though are the public outbursts that I sometime think are appropriate to melt down over in front of everybody. But I think it should be realized that I’m still getting used to living on my own, and I’m not always used to not having constant interaction with another person. So I think sometimes I tend to go into tailspin mode either through Facebook Posts or massive texts when issues arise. Usually more often then not when I’ve had a few cocktails and not only do I sound completely neurotic or like I’m in pure crisis mode, totally freaking out. I have to admit, it’s really ridiculous to see. Sometimes it’s funny a couple of weeks later, but more often than not it just sounds like annoying faggot who’s begging for attention. And it probably is, ha ha.

Either way, I like my Social Networking Friends good enough, but it’s the flesh and blood friends that I really listen to in everyday life (and a handful of my blogger friends). SO, that being said, I don’t see my neurotic ass calming the hell down anytime soon, so feel free to delete me if you’ve had enough. No hard feelings. Later kids.

5 years

2010-06-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

Had a friend send this to me a few weeks ago. She stole a pair of our friends' sunglasses and we all took turns passing them around all night taking pictures with them. It was taken at the bar I used to work at that frequently asked us to take our shirts off, and a time when I was able to. It's been good for the incentive part of my brain to start whiping itself into a frenzy for what I'm trying to do at the gym, but it also gives me a case of the "Gawd I'll never be able to look like that again" blues.

Take it this picture was 5 or 6 years ago, and I may or may not had an infatuation with certain things that keep you skinny, but dammit it's not even that clear or great of a picture but I'm already jealous of Jon at 22. There was a way better picture that I could have posted but that one made me feel way worse. Ha ha.

But it's all good. I have an idea of the body I'd like to have and it's not that of a cracked out twink.

I said I was going to write about the Memorial Day Picnic, but I'm feeling uninspired. It was Gay. It was a picnic. It was on Memorial Day. Looking forward to a good weekend ahead. Be good everyone and have lots of fun.

The 100th Post

2010-06-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Wow, the one hundreth post, and it only took me 2 years to get here. Ha ha.

Well, Summertime 2010 is off to a really good start with the kick off of the Memorial Day Weekend last week. Why is it that the 4 day work weeks feel like they kick your ass a lot worse than the regular 5 day weeks? Oh yeah, prolly cause you've had 3 days of partying.

My weekend wasn't a complete tailspin and I kept myself from having "too much fun" until Monday. But I'm skipping ahead of myself. Stayed in on Friday night, as I knew it was going to be a long weekend. Truth be told, I fell asleep on the couch at 9pm. That's the beauty of the workout schedule I've been keeping. If I don't get to take a nap, I'm ready for bed by 10. And it's good deep regular R.E.M'd sleep.

Saturday night, however, I did step out. But not in the way I had intended. I was going to go to a Midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but that fell through. So at aboout 11:30 I headed off downtown not knowing for sure where I wanted to go. The Max had a line halfway down the block, there was no one in DC's, and I didn't feel like walking all the way down to Flixx just to be there for two cocktails before closing time. I halfway thought about getting a 6 pack and going back home, but thought the better of it and decided to go have a sit at DC's even though it was dead.

I slurrped down a few beers, paying more attention to my phone than to anyone else, when I realized that they had the basement open that night. I'd never been down there before, but from what I knew, you had to be in leather gear of some sorts to go down. They must have been lax on the rules, considering the turnout, regular clothed guys were going down. I was in an inner turmoil as to whether I wanted to go down there or not. I felt a little nervous about being alone and not knowing what to expect. Take it, I'm really far from prudish, but you can't really pic and choose what you want to be a witness to in some of those settings and there's no going back once you've seen them, lol. But I decided that it would be a little adventure, it's not like I was going to get raped and could leave whenever I wanted.

I walked down the stairs, glad I had a few beers in me for stabilization, paid the cover and walked in and took a look around. It was kind of dark, but I didn't see any medevil torture devices or hear screams of pain or anything like that, so I was ok. Right off the bat, before I ordered anything the bartender handed me a plastic cup. I looked at it like I didn't know how to use it until the bartender saw my confusion and carefully helped me evaluate that it was "a shot". Hoping that it wasn't roofied, I took my happy little shot, thankful that I didn't go straight into convulsions (cause I hear that's when they like to git' ya). Ordered another beer, took a minute to appreciate the lovely dvd they were screening, and then decided to walk around.

There were black plastic sheets hung from the ceiling in a back area that reminded me of a really cheap haunted house. So the curiousity got the best of me and I went to go peek my head in. Then a voice from behind me said, "If you go in there by yourself you're bound to get swarmed." I turned around and ended up being a guy that I had seen upstairs a bit back. We chatted a bit, introduced ourselves, did my whole "I've never been down here before, is it as crazy as they say!?" type of thing. So we ended up walking through the "haunted house" and it really turned out to be nothing other than what you could have seen 8 years ago on Queer As Folk. It was actually a little more modest than I thought it would be, but at the same time it didn't seem like anyone was too shy about anything. Ended up walking out of the maze and ending the rest of the night perched at the bar (imagine that). But, at least I don't have to really wonder anymore. Except for what busy nights are actually like down there, heh heh heh.

More on Monday's activities tomorrow.....I didn't realize this post was going to get so long!

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said No No No

2010-05-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

My ex gets out of rehab today. Hope that it was a good experience and that he didn’t do it just to go through the motions. He’s actually a pretty cool guy, just a lot of bullshit thrown his way over the years. I can relate, and maybee that’s how we connected at a time. Haven’t seen him in 30 days, only talked to him a few times within that period, a couple phone calls and a few letters. A part of me misses him a bit, but for the most part I’m glad to have had a break from the Tom and Jon show. I don’t want to live the life we had anymore. Although, I miss my step-kids dearly. But I think that enough time has passed that they probably are over me not being around, don’t want to show up again out of the blue and reopen things. They know I love them, that’s all I need, really.

I’m a little nervous about today, Tom getting out and what he’s going to do. I don’t want to care anymore, but a part of me still does. After all that’s happened over the years, I shouldn’t. But I love being the glutton of my own punishment I guess. And I still love him in a lot of ways and really want to see the best in him again. I’ve been doing some radical changing myself though within the last month, physically and internally, to the point where I don’t think he’d know me anymore. And I think I did that on purpose. I guess I want to make him not love me anymore so I don’t feel so bad about my own feelings. I feel guilted, and don’t really deal with that very constructively.

Anyhow, that’s all I got for today. A little hopefull, a little sad, a little somthin’ I don’t know. Love ya guys.

Ole' Yeller Revisited

2010-05-20T13:58:00.001-07:00

So I called my Dad for his birthday yesterday. For those of you who don't know, my parents are good ole down to earth country folk, living on the same small farm that I grew up on. Anyhow, going through our regular touchpoints when it comes to phone conversations between us two, we got on the subject of the farm animals. I think this was somewhere in between the weather and the goings on within the community. We got on the subjest of my longtime dog Chase. Chase is a black lab, husky,and rumored wolf mix that I picked out when I was still in grade school who now is a hard of hearing and seeing, arthitic old gal. So far she'd been getting along just fine, even with her ailments and had even been granted permission to become and inside outside farm dog. This is almost unheard of on the farm. But, I was told that she had stopped eating and was very very shaky when walking. I did my usual, "Oh well she's a good ole girl who's time is ticking down. Got to expect her to go one of these days." pretty much the standard response whenever the subject comes up. I know it's coming but I don't want to talk about it.

This morning I got an email from my Mom, saying that she was taking Chase to the vet, cause she looked like she had took a turn for the worst overnight. She told me that although we had an agreement that if Chase ever had to be put down, she would let me hurry up and make the 2+ hr trip up so that I could be the one to take her in, but me with my only mode of transportaion these days being my own two feet and a bicycle didn't fair likely. Things didn't sound good coming from my Mom's end as she pretty much told me to expect for my childhood friend to venture off to the great beyond this afternoon. Tears ensued and I had been sitting here at work all day whiping my eyes and sniffing snot up my nose. My world felt a little lonlier.

Well, about an hour ago, I got another email from my Mom with the subject line of "Good News". "Good News?" thinks me, "What, was it college intern day and they got to put her down for free?" Turns out the vet thought she looked really good for a dog her age and didn't want to put her to sleep. Of all things he tried acupuncture to help coax her appetite back and to relieve some of the arthitis in her hind legs. He also gave her a months worth of pain pills to try and see if that would help too. I guess while my Mom was writing to me, she started eating a bowl of food that was set out for her, her first in 5 days.

So, good news for me. Get to look forward to seeing my beloved pet at least once more the next time I get up there, which will be soon now. Only thing that sucks is I got a taste of what's to come when the time really arrives. But like usual, I'll just say, "Oh well she's a good ole girl who's time is ticking down. Got to expect her to go one of these days."

Kelly Rowland - Commander

2010-05-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Here's another little gem that's about to be released. Pairing back up with David Guetta after last Summer's HUGE success of "When Love Takes Over" Beyonce2 is smartly delving back into the world of dance music. Michelle Williams is somewhere cutting herself.

Kylie Minogue - All The Lovers (Michael Woods Remix)

2010-05-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Kylie Minogue - All The Lovers

2010-05-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

The world's most heavenly angel is back with her brand new song. LOVE IT TO DEATH!

She uses her voice, it's not overshaddowed by the music, it's not digitally distorted robot voice, it's sweet soft Kylie voice. It hasn't been used to her advantage like this in a long time. I love the pianos, I love the electrobeats, somehow they don't clash. Whoever produced this did a really great job showcasing all of her best attributes.

Best part is, we get the album at the same time as our friends across the pond do for the first time ever. She usually releases her albums overseas months before releasing them in the US. July 6th is going to feel like a million years away. I really hope that it's a hit here. Looking forward to the remixes and dancing to this song all damn summer long. Very happy gay over here. :-)

The images are behind the scenes pics for the video shoot that took place last weekend in Los Angeles.

LeT's GeT iNtO PhYsIcHaL!!!

2010-05-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

So, I'm not a big fan of Glee. Not a hater, don't dislike it, just don't have the tingle in the weiner that a lot of us boys of a certain persuation have. Honestly, I'm kind of jealous about it as I love being obsessive compulsive over things of this nature. It's just lost on me, but that's ok.

I heard some rumblings last week that they might do a Kylie show, which is really the only thing that's perked my interest on the show. (somehow, even the mention of the Madonna episode was met with my new favorite response as of late, "Eh...") I had to tell someone, as I think it was one of those afternoons where I'd realized I hadn't talked to a living soul but the dog. So I texted my Gleek, JP.

"I can top that," texted he, "ONJ will be ON Glee this week singing Lets Get Physical with Sue Sylvester" So, I was impressed, and not just because JP said he could top something, so I decided I'd watch it this week if I was around. Somehow, JP already had the song downloaded from the episode and made sure that I heard it when I stopped by to pick him up at his place before going out for a drink. I liked it a lot and asked him to replay it. Once Tuesday came around, I got home from the gym (no kidding) and realized that not only was the show on, it was about halfway over with. I flipped the tv on, and not but a few minutes passed and the video was played.

#1. ONJ looks hot, even with plastic face.
#2. If I like anything about this show, it's Sue Sylvester.
#3. I wish there were guys like that at my gym.

Very entertaining, sexy, and good to see Ms. John back with some much wanted recognition stateside.

And speaking of gym, my endeavors are very slightly starting to take into minor effect. I hate how all some people talk about is the gym when they get into "that mode", and I admit, that's the mode that I'm in. So I'll be short about it. I feel like when I was a kid looking for my first ball hair swearing to God I could see one and feeling all manly. Only this time I swear I feel a little less blub in certain spots, a little more firmness in others, but deffinately a lot of soreness in places I'm not used to feeling sore. Only week two, changes are always small if you're really doing them the right way, so I hope I stick with what I'm doing cause if anything it's doing a lot for my state of mind and my attitude and behaviors. cause of it, the drinking has dropped off even more and I'm getting full 8 hrs of sleep at night from exhaustion.

The end!

Week In Revue

2010-04-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

Archie comics will be introducing a gay character named, Kevin Keller, in September. I always thought Archie and Jughead were on the down-low with each other in the first place using Betty and Veronica as their beards, while Reggie was always such an asshole cause the boys would never throw him a bone. Principal Weatherbee is off somewhere licking his lips whilst maturbating.

I found out this week that Type O Negative's frontman Peter Steele died from resperatory failure. While not one of my favorite band's of my youth I did have to dig out my copy of Bloody Kisses to pay respects. Peter Steele posed for Playgirl back in the day, and I had thought of posting one of those pics in Memorandum, but felt it creepy looking at a naked dead guy, plus I don't pander to filth (yeah right). Google it if you want and it comes right up, literally.

In other news, I haven't drank in 6 days and my corner store filed for bankrupcy this week. I've been eating like a son of a bitch all week, but still losing weight, which leads me to believe that a.) what I have been drinking is drastically more saturated with sugar and b.) I drink a lot friggin more than I realize. Helping my friend Richard move this weekend but would like to end my streak of sobriety at least one night this weekend out on the town. So hit me up if your out peeps.

If the Golden Girls Were on Twitter

2010-04-23T07:10:00.001-07:00

Aphrodite

2010-04-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Excited as Little Richard at a picnic.

A week in Revue

2010-04-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

A week in revue,

On Tuesday morning I found out that an old friend of mine lost 2 of her 4 children in a housefire the night before in my hometown. One of the 2 adults in the home had thrown out a cigarette on the front porch and it ended up rolling under the deck starting some debris on fire. It was really windy out, and once it started the wind basically pushed the fire directly into the house. She was able to get her youngest children out, ages 4 and 6, but could not get to her two oldest Devynn 8 and Sierra 10 who were sleeping on the second floor of the house. I used to watch these two when they were babys. Remember going to the hospital to meet Devynn the day he was born. I know my friend is going to be blaming herself for this for the rest of her life. My heart completely breaks for her and her family, she’s as devoted of a mother as they get.

Do me a favor guys, check your smoke alarms.

On a lighter note, seems that Washington on Thursday night released a statement by Obama instructing the Health and Human Services Department to draft rules requiring federally subsidized hospitals to grant all patients the right to designate people who can visit and consult with them at crucial moments. We’ve all heard horror stories of people’s loved ones dying alone because some places bar homosexual partners from visitation rights. Part of me is happy for this, but in all reality it pisses me off because 1.) something that fucking lame should never have been allowed to happen in the first place, and 2.) Glad that you could finally do something to throw the homosexual community a fucking bone, Obama. I’ve not ever been barred from a former lover’s hospital room in the past and I live in the damn Midwest. Guess something is better than nothing.

Found out today that the Smashing Pumpkins are getting ready to issue the first of 11, 4-song Eps starting next month. I think that this is a cool way of issuing music, as well as the fact that they are listing the full songs for free on the internet at http://www.smashingpumpkins.com/. By the end of the day, the first full EP will be available to download for free and both a cd and vynil version will be made available to independent record stores in May. A very cool way to help support the small music retailers still in existance. I’ll be heading down to Drastic Plastic tomorrow so I can Pre-order.

On a personal note, all has been going good for good ole’ Heat. Decided that I’m going to attempt at a month of seclusion, no drinking, hit up some therapy sessions, tan, and start working out like a maniac. Down 15 lbs from 3 months ago, so it's a start. Figured that would be a good attempt at getting some of my finer feelings back.

Be good kids, have a great weekend.

Clay Aiken Exclusive

2010-04-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

Amid reports of Ricky Martin coming out of the closet last week, the editors and staff here at Heats Hotter Spot the Sequel's offices have been abuzz in a "What the Kevin Spacey!?" type of stupor. With the likes of Ricky Martin and Sean Haye's being the most recent in a string of waning C list celebrities to come out of the closet amidst once illustrious careers, we decided we needed a hard hitting interview with a veteran of the movement. So we went straight to the top. And when we say top, we mean big nelly bottom. Clay Aiken.

I sat down with Clay yesterday afternoon at an undisclosed location. I was blindfolded as I was driven to Mr. Aiken's secluded hideaway. Once my blindfold was removed, I was revealed to be in a softly candle lit room that faintly smelled of Elizabeth Taylor's "White Diamonds" fragrance. Hello Kitty paraphernalia was abound. I was alone in the room, sitting on one side of a fainting couch. Until, from the shadows emerged our reclusive star.....

AIKEN'S HEEEEERE!!!

Clay Aiken: Why hellos there, Mr. Heat's Hotter Spot the Sequel. I'm so glad that you could join me today. I hope you don't mind my appearence, well, me bein' in my bathrobe and all. I guess I just wanted to be comfortable so I would be able to....open up, so to say. Mind if I sit down here on the couch?

Me: Oh absolutely Mr. Aiken. Please get as comfortable as you need. The feathered collar of your bathrobe certainly brings out the, ah...fluffiness of your hair.

CA: Oh you scoundrel you! I bet you think your gonna sweet talk yourself right through all my secrets, dont you? Well, I've got more secrets than Victoria. You go on ahead and make yourself comfortable as well, go ahead and take your pants off if you'd like!

Me: Well, thank you very much, I think I'm good the way it is. Shall we begin?

CA: Does a chicken have a pecker?

Me:......?

CA: Oh C'mon now you know I'm just Joshin'! A little humour to get the juices flowin'. I like it juicy, do you Mr. Heat's Hotter Spot the Sequel?

Me: Please, call me Jon. First question, what is your recent take on the latest batch of celebrities to come out of the closet?

CA: Well, I'm just glad that I could be the first celebrity to ever come out of the closet. It wasn't easy being a trailblazer. But in time I think that my endeavors will open the door for more and more celebrities to share their true selves with the rest of the world.

Me: Did I hear you right? You said that you're the first celebrity to come out of the clost?

CA: Yes, the very first...

Me: How is that, there is a list of famous gay celebrities that have been out long before you were even a fixture in the media? How do you explain this?

CA: Well I can see that you need a better fact checker, Mr. Heat's Hotter Spot the Sequel!

Me: I said you can call me Jon.

CA: Next question......

Me: Ok, What is your stance on gay celebrities and adoption?

CA: Well, being a biological father myself, I can only hope that the rest of the celebrities that follow in my footsteps can play the role of the man to the tee that I do, for the sake of these kids. Everyone loves a mature and masculine daddy, but we arefew and far in between. Isn't that so true!? You want a popsicle? I have Bomb Pops? A whole freezer full in the cellar.

Me: No thanks.

CA: Are you sure? We can play "How far can you swallow it"!

Me: No, Ms. Lang....er, I mean Mr. Aiken.

CA: WHAT!?!? How very very dare you. It's Aiken...like one night with me and your ass will be Aiken.

Me: I am so very sorry, I accidentally slipped in the wrong note card for my next interview. Um, Mr. Aiken.... your bathrobe, it's slipped a little. Looks like Victoria's showing her secret.

CA: Oh it was no accident Mr. Heat's Hotter Spot the Sequel. I just wanted to give a little something for your....peice. Did you know that I'm a insatiable dick hungry cock monster?

Me: OK, Gayken, this interview is over. I'm gone.

Hoppity, Hop Hop

2010-04-05T14:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Easter weekend has come and gone. I was going to go home to see my family, but my Mom ended up being scheduled at her new job over the weekend, so just said screw it and stayed home. I'm really glad that I did, because I had a lot of fun and got to catch up with a ton of people, some that I haven't seen for a while and then others that I love seeing given any opportunity.

Upon hearing that I wasn't coming home as planned, my baby mama Karissa decided that she would come down to visit me instead. We ended up taking her sister Kylie to my old bar Flixx for the Miss Flixx pageant. It was her first drag show and she was taking as many pictures as an Asian on vacation. (Don't you just love stereotypes?) She was even able to get an up close and personal shot with my former boss, Erica Joy, who in her typical fashion was wearing almost absolutely nothing. Where the penis is is anyone's guess. From there we did some marathon dancing at the Max until closing time. I started out the night feeling kind of "Blah" but ended up not wanting it to end at all.

Before Karissa left town the next day, we ended up stopping at Hooters for lunch, as neither of us had ever been there. I was slightly horrified until I got my wings as I needed to sopp up the previous night's beer consumption. We goofed on the waitresses, one of which who looked like she was pushing her Hooters expiration date and another with a Joan Jett circa '87 hair do. Kylie Minogue's Locomotion even came on, making me want to start a train right there. Which is ironic, as my friend Ray-Ray puts it as her music is being played at Hooters and she being a breast cancer survivor.

Anyhow, Karissa leaves, which actually bummed me out quite a bit. We don't get to see each other nearly as I'd like and walking back into the apartment by myself kind of gave me the blues after all that fun. Ended up staying in for the rest of Saturday working on some artwork for an insanely long time for what I'm used to putting in.

Easter was good, did the gay church thing and was invited to Easter dinner at my friendss Stan and Scott's place. It was a nice suprise and everything was so delicious. Especially dessert, I ended up having to have two helpings. Talk about double trouble. They definately know how to make a guest feel welcome. If you read this, thanks again guys.

While expecting a quiet and early night on the sofa, Miss Schwa texted wanting to head over to JP's for a few beers. After royally twisting my arm, I obliged for his sake. We all met up, and again, I started out feeling kind of "Blah" expecting to stick around for one or two once we got to the bar. But as these things usually go, ended up closing up the place. While I was able to fend of the shot monsters for the first round, I ended up with about four jeggar shots down when all was said and done. Amazingly enough, I wasn't a big sloppy mess (probaly all that good Easter dinner in my stomach yet), walked home without incident, got to bed and started it all over come 6 a.m. Was a very lovely weekend and I appreciate all involved. :-)

Cheers Kids: Karissa, Kylie, Paul, Chris, Alison, Sarah, Scott, Stan, Bean, Steve-o, Erica, Joshie poo, Philson, Courtney, Smay, Jonna, Dennis, Mikey

April Fools

2010-04-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

I just sent this email to my parents for April fools day. I always pull stuff on them, so I’m sure they’ve already got their armor on. Lets just hope this one sneaks under the wire……. (Thanks for being my unknowing/unwilling participants Kendra and Karissa)

To: Mom

From: Jon

Subject: Announcement from Jon.

Mom and Dad,

I have some very special news that I hope makes you happy. The Ellwanger family is going to be growing by 2. I'm going to be a real daddy!

You remember my lesbian friend Karissa? She's been down on her luck as of late, beings that she broke up with her partner and moved back to Nebraska from Denver. When she was with her partner, Kendra, we had always talked about having a kid between us three, with Karissa being the birthmother and me being the donor. They would have had full custody of the little one, and I would be involved anytime I was able. Their breakup obviously put a curb in these plans.

A few months ago Karissa and I had talked some more about this and decided to still make a go for it. I know it may be a little too much information, but we decided to forgo insemination and decided to try it the good old fashioned way to save on cost. After a few attempts, it happened. We just found out yesterday that not only are we having one child, but she's carrying twins! Dad, looks like I got your twin genes, lol. Hopefully they're identical, but either way, I'm still going to dress them up in matching little outfits.

Oh, by the way, if you forgot that today is April Fools day then good, that means I got ya. So quit grabbing at your chest. If you did remember and read right through this.....dammit.

Love you,

Jon

*******Update from Mother-Dear**********

YOU BIG TURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were just talking with Maria last night about your April Fool's day pranks! this, by far, is the biggest one you ever pulled off in your entire life! I am still laughing about how good you got me. Can't wait to show this to your Dad when he gets home. Hope I can keep a straight face so he will be pranked as well. You are so BAD! By the way, you know we would love and accept a grandchild from you with open arms no matter what.

I love you my crazy son,
Mom

Tradio

2010-03-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I remember my dad's company pick up truck only had an AM radio in it. I'd pal around with him a lot when he'd go out on calls on the weekend (he was the manager of a propane company). I'd bitch and moan about only being able to listen to farm reports and country music from the 70's from my hometown's station as we'd hit up all the different farm places that needed fuel.

Every once in a really great while I'll tune into the station online, just to hear whats going on in the town of Norfolk. They still have the same DJs and commercial jingles that they did 20 years ago when I was a kid. Either that or they're playing reruns over and over again. I can only usually listen for a few short minutes until I need to shut it off though.

I listened for a minute this morning, hearing how much corn, wheat, and cows were running (seriously, these reports might as well be in Arabic for as far as I can understand them). But then I hit the mother of all WJAG call in shows, "Tradio". I had forgotten all about this show until this morning and totally remember my Dad listening to it everyday.

The show is like craigslist for the radio. People call in with shit that they want to sell, or buy, or shit that they want to trade for other shit. It's all old farm people calling in, seriously. Some old coot called in today with parts to an international harvester. Another called in about firewood. Another had an old bathtub. But the oddest on was a guy calling in offering to sell 4 prom dresses for $25 dollars each. And the discriptions have gave of these lovely little numbers sounds like they came right out of 1986. The radio host joked that she'd never had a man call in hawking dresses before and that he did a good job. "Well my wife wrote it all down for me. I promise I didn't wear 'em." Yeah right, I can see it now. This queen in the country milking cows in a purple sequened dress with a bow on the back. "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me...."

The show lasted all of 10 minutes and the host was astounded at the vast number of callers, 5. She even held back a couple of internet ads for tomorrow. I guess they don't want things getting too exciting all at once. Other than a tobogan that my Dad bought us for Christmas one year, I don't think he was into listening to it in order to find a steal. I think he just got a kick at the retardedness of it all like I do. Well, at least I know what time to tune in tomorrow. I might just find a bargain.

Weird Weekend

2010-03-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

What a weird weekend. It was really good in a lot of places and terrible in others. Had a friend stop over on Friday night and drop off some movies for me, which is always right up my alley. BTW Zombieland is beyond awesome, wonder why I waited so long to watch it. Got up early on Saturday morning for a 9 a.m. haircut. Turns out my aquaintence/friend Jeremy was the one to cut my hair. Was nice to dish a little bit while getting trimmed up. Turns out there was a party that he was going to that night that another friend had invited me to, but there was also the Gay prom that night so I ended up having two options, which doesn't happen a whole lot.

On my walk back from getting my haircut, I stopped by the electric company so I could drop off my overdue bill, that I had placed in my back pocket, that had somehow worked it's way out and was no longer there. My heart sunk in dissapointment over the stupidity of it all, beings taht I had my man purse with me with my bill book in it that the bill should have been in in the first place. I finished the walk home defeated. I got through the door and immediately heard my work pager go off. I had printed my info on the envelope and some guy had found it. He said that he would drop it off for me once he left work. He found it not even a block away from my apt. I was relieved and offered to stop by and pick it up and give him a few bucks for being so nice. He said no thank you and that it would all come around at some point. I was floored.

The rest of the day didn't go so swell, as the ex made a campaign against me and flooded me with calls, voicemails, and texts nonstop for the remainder of the weekend. With the same old stuff about taking my dog, calling the cops on me for stuff in my apartment that he's claiming is his, blah blah blah. Went so far as to get the kids to start calling me leaving voicemails. I haven't talked or seen either of them for going on 2 months and it felt like a low blow. He can't take anything from me, and I know this, but I still let it intimidate me. I ended up laying low, staying home with copious amounts of vodka. Smart move. Spent the rest of the weekend being beligerent and angry. I gotta stop this pattern, it's ridiculous.

But anyhow, a sliver of light shown through yesterday as I ordered tickets for Lady Gaga. My best friend from highschool who I haven't seen in a few years is gonna go with, along with my Gaga fanatic ex boyfriend Richard. Very much looking forward. Hopefully she'll pull out her dick onstage ;-)

Front and Center

2010-03-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

Having announced last week that Lady Gaga plans on bringing her never ending Monster Ball tour back to the US and making a stop in Kansas City this August, I've found myself with the all familiar feeling of the absolute need to go. I generally don't go to shows a whole lot, but the shows that I do tend to go to are ones that are big, Star wise and production wise.

My last and most favorite show to date is obviously, Kylie, duh. The fact that the venue was so very small means that there wasn't a bad seat in the house, but being on the floor in front of the stage 20 ft. from my starlet was about as big of a mess in the pants dream come true that could ever happen for me. Standing for 3 hours, getting hot, sweaty, thristy, and bitchy before the show started was so worth it. By the time the curtains opened and the lasers and disco beats exploded as she decended from the ceiling on top of a big ole skull shapped disco ball, I was in awe. here's a clip of her opening from the same show I was at in San Fran at the Fox theater:

There were 5 gigantic screens on robotic arms pivoting around the stage with Miss K and all of her fantastic hot ass scantily clad male dancers (girl knows her crowd). She had special videos to accompany whatever song she was singing to, not THE video, but a special tour created backdrop. Here's one of my favorites:

Anyhow, I while I doubt the Gaga experience will raise such a clatter within my little gay soul, I do look forward to a fantastic show.

Tell me, what have some of your favorite concerts been?

Notable mentions for me are:
Janet
Cher
Rob Zombie
The Donnas
Ozzy
The Strokes
Juliet and the Licks

Till next time, Rock on killers......

Scream 4

2010-03-24T14:30:00.001-07:00

Well, Scream 4 officially got the greenlight yesterday as hold out Wes Craven finally signed on to direct. He'll be rejoining cast David arquette, Courtney cox Arquette, and Neve Campbell. Sounds like they're setting up offices in Michigan to start filming here very shortly due for a release in the springtime of 2011.

Never thought this would ever happen, especially with Courtney's reclaimed success with Cougartown. But I guess it's not like she was doing too shabby when she made the first 3 movies while being on that little show called "Friends". All the others just need money, and I'm sure Craven is really looking forward to at least one more hit before he retires/croaks. Although he does have a movie coming out this Halloween that looks promising. can't remember the name of it off the top of my head.

Anyhow, looking forward.

Monday Night Smackdown

2010-03-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

So my apartment complex is pretty decent. My apartment itself rocks and is comfortable as any I've ever lived in. But with apartment life comes "the neighbors".

When I was shown the apartment, the leasing agent proudly exclaimed how since the walls were concrete, living there was almost completely quiet. She is pretty much correct for the most part. I can't hear the neighbors in the unit on top of mine walk around (on wood floors, nonetheless) and I've been known to be a little loud at times socializting into the night, but nothing holds a candle to my next door neighbors. The next door neighbors who's bedroom is right on the other side of the wall as my bedroom.

Now, the strange part about it is, I never see or hear hide nor hair of them ever at all, until 1 a.m. through 4 a.m. Tuesday mornings. To date, I've woken up to 5 arguments, always in this timeframe, always on the same day. The neighbor lady has the absolute most shrill screaming voice I have ever heard in my life. While some of the things they argue about are hysterical, the novelty has worn off and I'm thinking next Tuesday we're going to be filing a noise complaint.

Here are some of the Greatest Hits, as composed by The Neighbors:

I Let You Fuck My Ass and I get No Pleasure.

You're Drunk! Shut Up!

I Can't Help it, it's My OCD!

DON'T YOU EVER BE SARCASTIC!!!!!!! (followed by a loud crash)

And You Think It's Going To Be Different After We Have Kids.

You're Not Worth A Shit in Bed, You Can't Even Get Me Off.

You Never Listen To A Word I Say.

And many more!

I've always thought it was weird that it's always early Tuesday morning that this ALWAYS happens. But then I wonder if they're coming down off of whatever the hell the do over the weekend. The only face to face interaction, I've ever had with the "man" of the house is when he came over to ask if I smoke cigarretes in my bedroom cause he swears he can smell smoke through the concrete walls. I had to tell him No that I don't, but I can smell pot in our entryway whenever they spark up the bong and if they aren't sharing, to put a towel down in front of the door to keep the smell in like you had to do in highschool.

I look forward to see where this ends up, lol. :-)

Operation Debt Free 2010

2010-03-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

So with a lot of thinking going on this week, thinking about getting out of the current slump, I've been thinking long and hard on what past mistakes I've been making as a way to identify and keep away from these behaviors. The cool part about it is, I've come to realize that half of the problems I've been obsessing over, weren't really problems that belong directly to me. Putting all that stuff aside, I figured the best place to start is with my financial well being. The goal, to have my debt payed off by the age of 30, about a year and a half.

Been crunching some numbers and doing some balancing, while I really don't make gobs of money, I really don't have that many expenses either. Take it, I have a really nice impusle buying fetish to deal with, but for the most part I do live pretty cheap. I'm debating commiting to one of my past credit accounts that is offering me a substantial amount off if I lock into a $300 a month payment plan for 6 months. Seriously that's like a little over half of what the balance on the card is.

More than anything I guess it would be a great way to start my 30's out. Would rather clean up my 20's at the end of them rather than pay for them in my 30's. It feels good to make a plan and set up a goal for something. It feels like it's been a long time since I've done that. Here's hoping I stick with it.

The Best Voicemail Ever...

2010-03-09T09:12:00.000-08:00

After sending my phone number through a facebook message to my good friend, Dee/Damian/Nicole/Diva P or whatever we're going by this week, I received a call back. I did not answer said call, as I figured it was her/him (shim?) and knew that there would be at the very least, 2 hrs worth of conversation that I wasn't able to get started as my folks were coming to visit. Instead, I got the following VM:

"I normally don't leave messages. FUCK THAT SHIT. You see my shit on your caller ID, that's my shit. It's about fucking time you got a GAD DAMN PHOWN! Punch you in yo' shit. Well, you see my shit, on your shit. Call me back."

I've listened to it about 500 times, ha ha. Good to hear from my lil' sassyfrass.

Cox in your Box

2010-02-10T09:13:00.000-08:00

My blog's been on a short vacation.... guess the fact that it's cold and there's nothing to do has a bit to do with it. This is that really gross time of year, and I swear to God it's recurring every year, when I just hibernate and don't really have anything to do with the outside world other than emailing, text messaging, and facebook posts...

Oh yeah, and before I move on. To those of you who view my facebook postings, I do have an excuse for some really bizzar status updates as of late....While I might be hibernating a lot, I do still get to the liquor store. :-)

But that's neither here nor there. And anyway, isn't that what FB is for?

So, being that it's inside time for this time of year, and I'm tired of making an ass out of myself on FB, I decided that I'd finally bite that bullet and order Cox cable. And oh what a difference it makes...

RuPaul's Drag Race, the Superbowl, Idol, Rachael Ray, Judge Judy, AMC and TCM movies, Family Guy, Two and a Half Men, Will and Grace, Intervention, Mythbusters, Biggest Loser, What Not to Wear, Flip This House, Diners Drive In's and Dives, Nip Tuck, Cartoon Network, Paula's Home Cooking, AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! IT'S ALIVE OOOHHHH IT'S ALIVE.

Right now I feel like I did when I was a kid, not being able to wait to get home from school cause some show was on that I didn't want to miss. Since then, I've really not been much of a television aficionado. I've never watched an episode of Lost, Survivor, CSI: anything, the Office, My name is Earl, etc. Not to say that I haven't had cable in any of my dwellings, I just haven't been the one to sign up and pay for it before now. I always thought it was a waste of money and it would make feel lazy because I should be doing something besides watching TV. Plus I had some idea in my head that it'd cost about a million bucks a month, forgetting that whenever I've seen a cable bill ever it's been bundled with internet and phone service.

So, with one more month of this shit looming on the horizon.....is there anything on right now that I should not miss?

Anus, Slacks, and Casseroles

2010-01-26T10:03:00.000-08:00

Sunday night I got to relive the past a little bit with a pretty good sized fraction of a group of friends that I used to hang out and party with just about every single weekend. We all used to frequent or work at “Club Joy” before it closed about 5 years ago. Since the club’s demise, a lot of people have moved, found other circles of friends, stopped going out, etc. For the most part, we’ve all kept up with each other, but for everyone to be in the same room will never be possible again. We made a pretty good attempt at it the other night though, for all of us that are still living here in the big O.

All in all there were about ten of us there, a mix of loyal patrons, drag queens, and staff who all met up at former owner, Eric’s apartment downtown. Cocktails, food, chit chatting, and old DVD’s of the N’JOY girls shows. It really was quite a good time, better than what I was expecting for not seeing a lot of these people in quite some time. Was worried that it might seem a little awkward. But, I had my girls JP and Schwa with me so I knew it would be worth going. I wasn’t wrong as while the three of us were walking from JP’s to Eric’s we had conversations about, but not limited to: Anus, Slacks, and Casseroles. You had to be there.

Watching some of the old drag performances really took me back. These girls were STARS to me at the time. Made me miss 2003 for a bit as it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone perform to ANY Cher remix or everyone’s favorite at the time “Girl From the Gutter”. Totally put me into a deep Thunderpuss K hole. Remembered being 22 again running my ass around the club, as a bar back. It was my favorite job ever, as I would have been there anyway, only I would have been spending money rather than making it. Meeting Porn stars, getting hit on by Chi Chi LaRue, running the spotlight at drag shows, helping Courtney bartend on the crazy ass busy nights, scooping people up off the floor, screaming at everyone to get the fuck out once it was closing time, finding tips on the dance floor that would fall from the performers hands cleavage or crotches, running around in my wet underwear at the foam parties. It was possibly the most fun of my life, as I think it was the very first time that I was totally free to my own devices and was very comfortably supporting myself.

Sounds like there will be a Joy BBQ in the works once the weather gets nicer. Looking forward to it, I’ve missed my old “family”.

Princess Schwa doing her Chi Chi Rodriguez pose

A Love Story

2010-01-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

Retard-a-polooza

2010-01-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

I had taken off my baseball cap the other day upon my return to my apartment from walking back from the grocery store. My way too long hair looked really really goofy. So, like a homo, I played around with it in front of the mirror.

Looks just like Mr. Hugh Jackson if I do say so myself.....You in the back.....quit your damn laughing!

On a whim...

2010-01-15T14:22:00.001-08:00

Not much coherency with this one kids (like there ever is), just some random thoughts to wrap up the week.

Started riding the bus to work this week. The route from my apartment is perfect. It's cheap to ride. It's nice to relax and let someone else do the driving after a mind numbing day in the cube of hell. The only thing that sucks is waiting for buses in between transfers and, let's face it, bus people are kind of weird.

Going out tonight with an old friend I've seen probably twice in the 9 years since we graduated from high school. She's bringing her girlfriend and she wants to go gay bar hoping. Will hate to see the disappointment in her eyes when she realizes that Omaha barely caters to the Lezbroz. Hoping the bars will be a fluke so that we don't somehow end up at "Connections".

Heidi Montag is a total Twat who came in on the Twat Train from Twat Town. That being said I listened to a few of her songs and like some. Feeling a little bit terrible about that one (the song Overdose in particular).

One sentence movie reviews of my redbox rentals of the last few weeks:

Watchmen: I liked all the big blue wang that was in it.

Orphan: Gave me the creeps and was grateful there wasn't an adolescent in sight.

Julie & Julia: Surprised I didn't eat while watching it.

Bruno: Just plain bad.

The Hangover: Not nearly as funny as I was expecting, disappointed.

Observe and Report: Didn't even want to see it but it busted my shit up harder than anything in a long time.

Paranormal Activity: Gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when it was over.

Inglorious Basterdz: Not a favorite from a director that I worship.

Terminator Salvation: One to watch again when not inebriated.

That's it. Everybody stay safe and have a kick ass weekend.

The 3 Amigas

2010-01-12T13:58:00.001-08:00

JP, Miss Sullivan, and Yours Truely

Ended up going out with a couple of my favorite besties on Sunday night for what turned out to be a damn fine evening.

Miss Sullivan and I used to live together for about a year and a half. Then she up and moved to Chicago on me about 3 1/2 years ago and we kind of lost touch. Good thing that she and JP kept in contact so that I was able to find out that she moved back all under the radar. The three of us used to hang out all the time, and with losing touch and moving and all of that other life shit, I didn't really think we'd be hanging out again anytime soon, if at all.

Lo and behold, I met up with these two at JP's around 9ish for a few pre-bar drinks and to do some catching up. The cogs started turning and before you knew it, it's like the last 3 1/2 never happened. We ended up going to the Max for a drag show, drank entirely too much, danced like retards, etc. etc.

I woke up yesterday morning sick (probably from standing outside smoking half the night) and called in a day of PTO. Made sure to send a round of texts to make sure everyone was still alive and kicking (oh yeah, my phone did show up). Then I had that familiar feeling that I haven't felt for quite a while. The feeling you get when you're really kind of depressed that such a good time was over, but happy at the same time looking forward to the next outing that matches. No matter what crappy things are going down with me, it's my friends like this who make me realize that everything's going to turn out fine.

Till next time kids.

Damn These People

2010-01-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

So I ordered a phone on Monday expecting for it to be overnighted to me, as that's the shipping that I paid for. Didn't show up on Tuesday.

Looked at my confirmation on Wednesday, found in the fine print that they had 48 hours to process the order before shipping and then they'd send a shipping confirmation number. This is what I thought I'd received on Monday.

Waited 96 hours and called customer service. Actually got an English speaking person who told me that it would be shipped out today, but Fed Ex won't deliver it until Monday. Damn.....been looking forward to tinkering with it all weekend.

Then I look at my bank account, which grew in the amount of $120.00, the cost of my phone. Hmmmm.....why did this not go through? Thinks me. About an hour later, I received my shipping confirmation from Fed Ex. I'm sure that they'll take it out again at some point, but at least I'll have enough to go out this weekend as my form of entertainment that I had intended isn't showing up as planned. lol

Sequels

2010-01-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

OK, so I ran across some amazing news this morning....are you all ready?

Showgirls 2 is finally being made!

Don't believe me? www.showgirls2.com.

Really hoping this is not a scam, and it shouldn't be, with all the direct to video sequels that have come out as of late to movies that are over a decade old. Road house, Wild Things, Cruel Intentions, Single White Female, Species, etc. etc.

For those of you who know me personally, you know I have a pallet for really bad movies. Some of the campiest movies are sequels or rip offs from movies that have already been made. I think it might be an extension of my love for horror films, as we all know that the best and the worst of franchises have countless extensions. Example: Scream 4,5, and 6 in the pipeline, being written as well as comitted to by original cast members Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Neve Campbell.

I think now that all of these sequels are showing up as direct to video quite a bit, the studios are penning a lot of "remakes" to continue a franchise in order to secure a better chance at a theatrical release. My opiniion. While I like the idea of my favorite movie monsters, like Michael, Freddy, and Jason starting from scratch, I think it's a little overboard with the others. But even then, there's a lot of people who wold disagree with me there. People either tolerate remakes, or they friggin' loathe them.

I mourn for the sequesl that have forever been in talks but will either never be made or can't be made. Pink Flamingos 2, Goonies 2, Gremlins 3. Although, Ghostbusters 3 was at one time in this category and now it's in pre-production, so maybe there is some hope yet for some. I don't care if new instalments don't live up to the original, after all, we STILL have the original. I just like the idea of the story living on along with the characters. Call me retarded.

So what are your favorite sequals and/or what sequel would you love to see made? (JP you can't pick Grease 2 because we all already know, don't be a lazy ass)

My choice for best sequel is "Scream, Blacula, Scream" and I would love to see "Steel Magnolias 2: The Rise of Shelby"

Good day!

This Snow Can Blow Me

2010-01-05T14:00:00.000-08:00

So last I heard, we could be looking at another significant snowfall tomorrow.

This shit's gettin' ridiculous.

On New Years Eve I was walking Capone down the frozen sidewalk in front of my complex. There's a boarding house right next to the complex that we usually walk in front of on our pee and poop journeys, but alas, not that day. In the snow, on the side of the road was a man collapsed. There was a police officer standing over him yelling into a radio, while both an ambulance and a firetruck booked it up the opposite direction of the one way street I live on. One of my neighbors peeked his head out the door saying that he knew who the guy was that they were loading up into the ambulance. It's that cold here people, you can about freeze to death walking down the street.

The bizare thing about it.....we went on another walk last night, and the SAME thing happened in the exact SAME place. It freaked my freak kids, there's no way in HELL that I am walking over that part of the sidewalk!

Then this morning on the way to work, I let the Jeep warm up for a few minutes before leaving. In this weather, there really isn't a whole lot you can do to warm up your car. I made it onto the interstate as I saw the temperature gauge slowly moving up. I was chattering so bad that I let the heater rip as high as it would go. It was really rad to see the INSIDE of my winsheild ice up as soon as the warm air hit the freezing cold glass. I was saved by a Notorious B.I.G cd case that I had in the door compartment as I used it as a scraper. I'm sure it's as good of a use as anyone could have ever intended it for.

On my way to work, I encountered 2 school buses in separate areas broke down on the side of the road. More snow tomorrow, and another big drop in the temperature by the end of the week. I don't think I've seen it this shitty in my life.

2010 Shenanigans

2010-01-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

Well kids, I gotta say, 2010 is off to a great start.

Went out for NYE, it was cold as all hell so I decided to drive down to the gay country bar instead of my usual walk. I was nervous about fighting for parking and the fact that the bar is less than a block from the Cop Shop. But to hell with it, it was NYE.

When I got there, it wasn't as busy as I had expected. I hadn't gone out until 11:00pm so it's not like it was too early or anything. I started sipping on a beer, checking out the crowd for any potential suitors for the evening. I hadn't been in there for 5 minutes before a tranny cornered me. She introduced herself as Fiona and said that she had been sent over by one of the bartenders who thought that I was cute and was asked if I wanted to be introduced. Although I thought it to be very Jr. High to have one of your friends go and talk to someone for you, and the fact that I think there is about one cute bartender I've ever seen working at this bar, I was intrigued so I agreed.

The guy was not a bartender, he was a cocktail waitress, and I could smell him before I was even within handshaking length of him. His appearance matched his body odor, completely neglected. I don't believe in being rude to someone unless they give you a reason, I introduced myself without making eye contact knowing full and well that this would be a short meeting. Dear Fiona tried her best to get some sort of a conversation started while the cogs were turning in my head as to what I was going to tell this guy in order to excuse myself. Luckily at that same moment, my friend Big Jeff peeked his head around the corner to say hi after seeing me from the bar. I used that cue to tell Uncle Fuckin' Rotten Tooth adios and went and pulled a seat next to Mr. Big Jeff.

We caught up over a couple of pitchers. Had some really awful champagne and shared a smooch at midnight, and closed up the bar for the night. While we chatted away, an acquaintance of mine that I've been familiar with for some time came over and invited me to he and his partners' house for after hours. He said he didn't know what to expect or who or how many people would be there. Usually this isn't the greatest sign, but again, I thought to hell with it since it was the new year and all. Plus, It's been a LONG time since I went to any one's after hours. So I drove Big Jeff to his car once the bar closed up, grabbed a 6 pack of beer, and headed to the after hours.

It ended up being a lot of fun. There were a few familiar faces that I recognized who I was able to chat it up with as well as get better acquainted with he hosts of the party who had invited me. I had also consumed enough liquid courage in order to engage with people I hadn't ever met, which I normally shy away from. Turned out to be a better NYE than expected, let's just say I rang in the New Year with a BANG. ;-)

In other good news, after being without a phone for 8 months (by my choice) I finally decided to sign up with a new plan. I'm having the phone over nighted to me and should be in business within the next day or two. If anyone wishes to have my new number, send me an email and I'll give it to you. Till next time kids.

New Years Resolutions

2009-12-30T12:17:00.000-08:00

Go back to San Fran for a week.
Work as little as possible.
Dance, a fuckin' lot.
Buy a ibook.
Set up the ultimate bachelor pad.
Cook like a maniac.
Get back into my art.
Read a lot.
Have respect for myself.
Learn how to tell people "NO".
Find a new band/artists to adore.
Sighn up for softball.
Have a handfull of illicit encounters.
Do more comunity work.
Think about re-approaching school.
Learn to be comfortable in my own skin.
Not have a boyfriend.
Sleep comfortably.
Be a sweet boy.
Save a little nest egg.

Can't believe we're onto a new decade already. I think 10 years back and remember being ready to graduate from high school, getting drunk at a NYE party some unkown kid was having. This was the year of the whole Y2K thing and everybody was so anxious to see if the world was going to end because of the computer systems freaking out. Now, by the time it hits midnight in Nebraska, obviously the other parts of the world that are ahead of us ended up being fine. But that didn't stop one of my farm kid friends from messing with the fuse box at midnight shutting off all the lights at this lame ass teenage drinking party. I don't know why I remember that NYE more so than any of the others, I just remember having had a really fun time.

Oh and the really good bitch fight that broke out when this drunk girl kept playing the same Limp Bizkit song over and over again until it freaked the freak out of another drunk bitch.....that was cool.

This year, I'm going solo. Gonna prowl Dc's and see if I can't bag me a roughneck. Wish me luck.

Happy New Year guys.

Rehabilitation

2009-12-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I took the EX into detox yesterday.

Extremely happy that it's finally happened. Emotionally drained as to how.

For the last two days I've been told that Ex lost his job (he stopped showing up), Ex is committing himself (to a rehab facility that would never be approved by his insurance), Ex has called the Humane Society to come pick up the dog (the dog is now in my apartment), and that I was being barred from the house and the things that I have left in it (landlord will let me in anytime to gather the rest of my belongings).

He never intended to go away, but go away he did. His Parole Officer stopped by the house yesterday, I don't know if someone called or if it was a random check up since he was not at work. Either way, he was intoxicated, which is a no-no for his parole. I got a call at work at about a quarter to 3 asking to come take him in so he wouldn't have to go in a cop car. I left work, not because I was afraid of him being embarassed being cuffed and escorted, but to say good bye.

I took him in, he cried the whole way, I held his hand. He kept on saying please not to leave him, that I was all he had. I didn't shed a tear, I just kept looking forward as we drove. The one time I looked over at him, all I saw was a shell of someone that I used to know, face wet and stubbled. He gave me 20 bucks to get him cigarettes. I walked him in and the police took him away. I turned around and couldn't help but look back once.

Went back to the house, got the dog and some belongings I've been wanting to bring with. I called his family, his brother stopped by. I thought I was going to get beat up for doing something wrong, but we just talked for a while and shook hands before walking out the door. His brother's been in this position, his brother spent a year inside for it.

I'm past the point of blaming myself for things. A fuck up is going to fuck up, there's no way around it. I've got a dog to get rid of and two kids that I don't know I'll see anymore. I feel weak in the fact that I knew this was coming and I didn't leave it all alone when I should have. There were so many special things wrapped in this ridiculous relationship that I somehow couldn't make that decision. I knew if I stuck it out, the decision would be made for me, and it was.

Now's a time for some rest and mourn just a little. And to realize that this is what can happen when you play house with someone else's family.

It's heeeeeeeeere.

2009-12-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

Well, It's here y'alls. Santa's coming tonight, so I guess we'll all be seeing who's been naughty and who's been nice.

After my last little bitch session on here, my Christmas was kind of up in the air, and I was extremely unhappy about it. But, like many times in my life, I have to remind myself that life is what we make it, and there's no reason to get hung up on a damn thing when there are so many fun options for a person to chose. Wallowing in self pitty makes you look like an asshole and alienates you from people.

Decided that I was being too negative and was hanging around too much negativity. Also decided that I was to scrap all Christmas options that I had been GIVEN, and make up my own. I'm an adult, it's time to start some of my own traditions.

BUT! A few things will always remain, mainly:

Ralphie!

Chipminks on Vinyl!

A Full Stomach

Adding to the mix this year:

Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning church services: We all have our own beliefs, I count on mine to get me through and keep my ass in line with what I really need to be doing with my life. I'm lucky that I have a really nice church family that doesn't judge me for anything and never makes me feel weird like some church folk can. I have a roost of mother hens there that always make me feel protected, loved and appreciated. Can't imagine not spending time with that "family" this Christmas.

Gremlins: Somehow this movie always escapes me this time of year even though it's very much a Christmas Movie. Plus there's snippets of "It's a Wonderful Life" in it, so you can get the Cliffsnotes version of it that way.

Friends: I've neglected all of my friends as of late due to "being so busy", and letting a few other people or things get in the way. I'm going to reconnect and quit being such a hermit. I miss my friends dearly and am thankfull that they still want anything to do with me with my past behaviors ;-)Plus it helps that the weather pattern here in Omaha is stranding most of us, so there will be more of us around than usual.

Dinner: Planing and Making my own Christmas dinner for the first time ever. I very much want it to be perfect. And as far as your going to know, it's a culinary masterpeice as I'm going to be making it for One, me. I think a little time alone to reflect is in order for this holiday as well, but not too long. I've got people I want to celebrate with.

So anyhow, hope everyone enjoys themselves and finds a peice of the bigger picture in their time with their loved ones.

Love you guys! Merry Christmas

2009-12-16T08:49:00.000-08:00

It's fucking cold out here......

This happened on Wednesday Night

2009-11-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

I was working at my second job on Wednesday night, the night before Thanksgiving, at a gas station that's adjoined to a big supermarket. I was towards the back of the store doing some of the cleaning duties when I heard something kind of weird going on up at the registers where two of the guys I was working with were ringing up customers. I quit paying attention for a few moments and I heard the Manager on duty ask for me to come up and help.

When I got up there, I hopped onto my register and began ringing people through. All the while noticing that the strange noises that I had heard from the back was actually coming from a small, middle aged, black lady who was madly gestering to my manager who was trying to understand her problem. It wasn't too hard to figure out that she was a deaf mute lady.

The customers died down and I was able to go over and assist and try to figure out what the issue was. My manager had a confused look on his face, as did my other co-worker as they were trying to converse with this woman by writing their questions out on paper. She would read the question, "What can we help you with, are you having trouble?" She would only write one word responses, some of them being "yesterday today", "poultry", "pharmacy", "BIG", "mean", "take". She was also gestering as though she was pushing a cart and then all of a sudden the cart was gone. She then wrote "Police". Obviously we had thought that she had got her cart stolen.

While desperately trying to convey something, she was not really articulating anything at all and acted really clueless through out the whole ordeal. She kept trying to convey something else before we could figure out what she was trying to convey just seconds ago. It was basically just going around in a circle after a while. We called over to the store to see if anyone could shed some light on the situation, and everyone was pretty much clueless, that and being the day before Thanksgiving they were completely swamped.

We ended up calling the police to see if an officer could be sent over for assistance and thought maybee they would have an interpretor available to better understand what the issue was. I wrote to the woman that the police were on their way to help and drew a little smiley face on the paper to help assure her that we would get things straightened out. She was not mad or frusterated, she was visibly distraught and very confused. I tried to ease her a little by looking her in the eyes (which I do with no one, way out of my comfort zone) smiling kindly, and acknowledging her.

The police showed up and she went through her motions, written words, and squeeky sorrowfull noises. I felt very empathetic for her, something a rarely reserve for anyone who I do not know. I felt bad that she didn't have anyone with to help her, I felt bad that I thought she was probably a little bit mentally disabled as well, I felt bad that everyone else was getting frusterated with her, etc. etc.

The phone ended up ringing while the police were with her, getting ready to tell her that there was nothing that they could do for her. It was a manager from the store. He had stated that she was in the day before with a cart of food, Thanksgiving items, and was using her EBT assistance card to purchase her food. It turns out that the card was declined, that she had no assistance left until the first of next month. Apparently, he had explained this to her after calling the agency to check on the card and ended up taking her cart away. Obviously she didn't understand what was happening, and I am under the honest assumption that she thought she had paid for her items, and they were taken from her.

It took me quite a while after the situation was over, and both the woman and the cops had left the store, to assess what happened to this woman. I think that she tried for 2 days (yesterday today) to figure out what had happened and got bounced around from person to person in the main store, that she came over to the gas station as a last resort to have someone help her figure out what the fuck happened. All this woman was trying to do was to have a Thanksgiving meal, and not only could no one give her the time of day to make sure she knew why they were taking her cart away, they could not find it within themselves to help find an option to where this woman could have her items. It's a big fucking grocery store, a quarter from each employee could have served a feast.

I asked for my co-worker to ring my up a 10 cent piece of candy and paid for it using my debit card, making sure to hit the cash back option on the card swiper. He asked me, "Are you doing what I think you're doing?" I just said, "yeah" embarassed that I had water in my eyes and didn't want him to hear my voice crack. This situation just made me so sad that it would ever happen and that so many people let it happen before she walked into our store. Why the police had to be called over something so simple. It was just ridiculous and very stupid to me, I was totally angry underneath the true sadness I felt for her. I placed my bills in front of her, not a lot, but enough for a small Thanksgiving meal with hopefully most of the fixings she was wanting. I slid it towards her, looking her in the eyes again while I said "Please take this so you can buy yourself some food." Everyone stood there gawking at me like I was some freak show, even the cops. She signed me "thank you", I winked at her real quick to let her know all was cool turned around and headed toward the bathroom and bawled for a quick minute.

Not trying to be a big baby or to get all mushy or shit, cause I think most of you know that's not how I roll. But I needed to put it out there so I can remember not to be such a douchebag to people when i think I'm too fucking busy or that something's not my job or responsibility. We are all responsible for each other.

It's begining to look a lot like bitchness...

2009-11-25T09:56:00.000-08:00

Email Exchange between me and a couple of work hos this morning. Enjoy.

Hi guys,
I have ran this passed a few of you and wanted to know what you think of this. I am on a really big give back kick this holiday season. What would you think of taking a collection and making a donation in (boss)'s name to Boxer Rescue in Nebraska. He has a boxer.

Let me know. Like I said, I am on this big give back kick this year so just let me know.

Thanks,
XX

First response.....

How about a raise first????? Then I’ll worry about spending money on someone else’s dog in my boss’s name just because he has one of the same breed……then again, maybe not.

2nd

THANK YOU! We are in a recession…Why does she keep asking for money?

Just cuz she doesn’t have ppl to buy for doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. I have a life outside this JOB.

3rd

i think i am going to have my own team meeting and have a general discussion regarding this issue. it is not fair for people to keep coming up with these ideas and expecting people to participate. I don’t feel obligated to do this shit and nobody else should either. (Boss) should say something as well because he doesn’t need all this stuff and enough is enough. Donating gifts instead of doing a gift exchange between ourselves is a good idea. But that’s about as far as I can go with this team spirit.

4th

My whole thing is…he gets paid more than all of us…why are we doing stuff on the sly for him…why don’t he buy us something hell.

5th

Ya’ll kno when we have this meeting were gonna look like the bad guy for not wantin to participate.

6th

Well, that may be true. But I come here for a paycheck so I can buy my kids gifts-not a grown ass man. I will not feel bad expressing that at all. If I look like a bad guy than oh well. What are they gonna do? Ban me from the “salad eating committee”?! (note: fat ladies that eat salad every day with the same amount of calories as a Whopper) Not make that jello cake (again, fat lady birthday treats)? Big whoop.

7th

Oh well……if you don’t love me, you better hate me.

Ahhh......I can feel the Christmas Spirt creeping right on up. Gobble gobble gurls.

The Family Portrait

2009-11-17T09:29:00.000-08:00

OK, so, back towards the end of October I receive the following email from my Mom that was sent to both me and my older sister who live here in Omaha:

Hey Kids,

Since this year is our 40th wedding anniversary, Dad and I would like to have a family picture taken. As it stands, we are scheduled with Michael's at 2:oo PM on November 21. It will be a casual picture, maybe even out here with a couple of the horses if the weather will cooperate. Jon, I sure hope you can arrange your work schedule for this. Please let me know as soon as possible, because if you cannot arrange it, we won't be doing the picture.

Please let me know as soon as you can if this will work for all of you.

Love you much,

Mom

I hate family pictures....with a passion. No, I don't hate pictures of my family, dear reader, I hate family pictures. The kind where some asshole tells you where to position your hands, how to stand, and who to stand by and affectionately position your hands on. I'ts all just retarded.

I think the last time we had a family picture taken, I was young enough that I was starting to grow some grass on the feild, but the hose hadn't been turned on yet. I know that neither of my 2 sisters had been married (or divorced) yet, and I only had one nephew (of which I have 6 neices and nephews now). I know that Mom had the barnyard fantasy of having pictures taken with the farm animals back then as well, but for one reason or another she was either veto'd (I highly doubt) or the weather wasn't good enough. But needless to say, the picture that was taken in the studio had the barn elements of hay bales and wooden fence posts.

My oldest sister Jody was the only one of us who rejected the whole idea of "country western" dress and showed up looking snazzy in a simple sweater ensamble. My other sister Heather looked good wearing something a sensible dark blouse and black jean combo that looked like it could be worn to "The Sugar Shack Saloon" and then to church the next morning, and her 2 year old son looked adorable in overalls. My folks look nice when they get dressed up in their garb of western shirts, jeans and boots, probably because they really enjoy all of that and the comfort they have with it really comes through.......But then there was me.

I looked like the aborted fetus of Garth Brooks. This was the unfortunate time in the 90's when Brooks and Dunn were shaking up the country music industry with their Wild and Crazy Western Shirts!

"Holy shit man! Lookit that shirt! It's got flames on it! That wild and crazy shirt has flames on it!"

"WOAH! A western shirt that looks like the Texas Flag?!?! No Fuggin' way, man!"

Besides that, and the fact that the fricking photographer made me button every button on the shirt all the way up the collar, I was a fat ass little 13 year old that could barely fit into the new (and never worn before or since) western shirt. Well, I had the fat squeezed into your clothes look that Garth Brooks used to rock, so I guess I had that down. It was just horrible, is all I can say, which is why I'm all paranoid about this picture now.

I take a decent enough picture, but when it counts and you're paying someone to take it for you, they never turn out for me. No, I'm not being too critical. Also with the fact that "casual" to me means freeballing in a pair of pajama pants and an undershirt is totally different than what my Mom's version of casual is, it's got me wracking my brain as to what I should wear for this thing. I don't think I'd show up underdressed, but run the risk of trying to look too sharp (i.e. gay as Little Richard at a picnic). I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Plus I love the whole "If you can't make it, we won't be doing the picture" pressure. Believe me, I asked for that day off as soon as I recieved this email to relieve that pressure. Well......guess who got scheduled to work all day long that day, lol!!! I kid you not. So with the day 4 days away and me arguing back and forth with my boss for this, it is turning into a little fiasco. Oh, and my car took a complete shit and our "photoshoot" is 2 1/2 hrs away from here. So :-) wish me luck dear reader!

P.S.

This was SO me as a teenager, looks and all.

F13

2009-11-13T11:22:00.001-08:00

In honor of one of my favorite movies/holidays......just stay out of the woods, or smoke grass, or say “I’ll be right back”, or listen to hair metal from the 80’s, or wear pastels, or tease your hair, or tease your partner, or try to scare your stupid girlfriend by wearing a mask of a serial killer that used to hack up people in this area 20 years ago, or skinny dip, or sit around a camp fire, or forget your sharp instrument somewhere and go back to look for it, or play drinking games, or have dance-a-thons in the living room of the cabin that you’re renting for the weekend in the deserted country, or cheat on your girlfriend, or cheat on your boyfriend, or hook up with your girlfriend’s boyfriend, or be a nerd, or make fun of the nerd, or look on the forest floor for your lost wal-mart ear ring, or say “who’s there?”, or try to shake anyone awake, or take a short cut, or wear a white t-shirt while it’s thunder storming and you want to take a walk.

Ok, I’m done…..If you don’t make it, not my fault.

Alice: The boy... is he dead, too?
Tierney: Who?
Alice: The boy. Jason.
Tierney: Jason?
Alice: In the lake, the one... the one who attacked me... the one who pulled me underneath the water.
Tierney: Ma'am, we didn't find any boy.
Alice: But... then he's still out there.

Crazy Ralph: Doomed! You're all doomed!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pamela Voorhees: You see, Jason was my son, and today is his birthday...

Countdown to Kylie: 2 days

2009-09-29T12:22:00.000-07:00

And we have lift off......

My adventure starts in a couple of hours as I get on my flight! and I got the Minogue on the brain.....

Please fasten your seat belts
My name is Kylie,
I'll be your purser
The exits are in the front and the rear of the craft

Thank you for flying KM air
We hope had a pleasant flight
Please fly with us again~~~~~~~Light Years

I'm living in a glass box of emotions!

Not since my addiction to No-Doze have I been this excited!

GO KYLIE GO!

SEE YA WHEN I GET BACK Y'ALL!

Countdown to Kylie: 3 days

2009-09-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

Leaving for San Fran tomorrow night after work, where I no doubtedly will end up eating rice a roni while wearing flowers in my hair. Ok not so much. This weekend was a treacherous wait, although I did find a beacon of light......a leaked set list for the concert.

Don't know if it's real or not, but I'm very happy to see every song I want on there.....save for one. One very special song entitled, "Your Disco Needs You!"

This little number is an anthem of sorts, considering it's supposed to sound like an anthem I guess, a national anthem to the gayest place in the universe. And while I'm a little dissapointed to not see it on the list, I'm sort of relieved. You see, my slutty sister JP and I, well, we share this song. My big whore JP and I have choreography to this song. That big ole cum dumpster of a JP and I even sort of know the words that she speaks in French, or Italian, whatever kind you like on your salad. So, I guess I'm happy that it gets to remain at the center of hot dog down a hallway JP's apartment before a night out on the town while pre-drinking. Remember the one time you said you didn't think your disco needed you anymore JP? It's never needed you more........sniff, snot, snort..... :-)

Countdown to Kylie: 6 days

2009-09-25T14:22:00.001-07:00

6 more days until one of the biggest events of my entire existance takes place. For those of you that have the absolute honour of knowing me (heh heh), we all know that I'm a little fucking Loney Tunes over this bitch. Never thought she'd tour America, even though she now says she's always wanted to tour the U.S. but has never found an opportunity, she always used to say that she had no interest in bringing her show to the states. Well, even when the tour was announced, I still thought there was no way I'd be able to make any one of the 6 scheduled shows.

Well lo and behold, after a lot of inner turmoil, and the fact that tickets where going so fast that they added more dates, I allowed myself to say "Fuck it kid, make it happen." The closest city she's coming to me is Chicago. Love me some Chi Town, have some friends up there that I haven't seen in forever, but again "Fuck it kid, do it big" says me. So I bought my ticket to the second show of the tour in San Fransisco. Was really gearing towards the very first show of the tour, but obviously that didn't happen. Not too upset about it though, I'd think that if there were going to be any bugs in the performance they would come through and get spotted in the first show anyhow.

in the end, it's all just a concert, but I guess the coolest part about it is that I'm allowing myself to do something like this. Feels like something I'd do in a heartbeat when I was young, dumb, and full of cum....er...I mean 21. I do think that Karma is rewarding me with this. Take it, i can be a really shitty person at times, but for the most part I'm actually not too bad and try my hardest to be there as much as I can for others. So, now that everyone's rolling their eyes at patting myself on the back, I'll wrap it up....

Later Taters!

Janet's Leaking!

2009-08-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

I'm totally crapping my britches for the leaked Janet demo (? sounds pretty complete to me) that I heard on the Gay Pimpin with Jonny McGovern show this week. Here's a link to the show, they play the song at about 107:30, give or take.

http://www.mediafly.com/Podcasts/Feeds/Gay_Pimpin_with_Jonny_McGovern#Gay_Pimpin_with_Jonny_McGovern_81809_1

It's Janet exactly the way I like her. She introduces herself like she often does, "Miss Jackson..." Throws a little giggle in at the beginning, and not since "All for you" has she explicitly left a good 20-30 second stretch about 2/3rds into the song for a good choreographed break down. Classic fuckin' Janet. Trying to hear if she's back in the clear with the Jam/Lewis team since her time with Jarmaine Dupri seems to have expired (about 7 years and 3 albums too late).

I was even able to find some teaser art for the new album....HATE IT. But she can look as whacked out as she wants to as long as she can deliver on the tunes. I miss me some good quality Janet, and while there have been a handfull of songs from her last 3, well 2 of the last 3 albums, I'm hoping for a full disc of loveliness like she used to do.

Company emails

2009-08-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

So, there's an administrator at the large office in which I work, that lives to send massive emails out to everyone in the company. Just nice little informationals or reminders. Well, this is what was sent out today:

Someone left a large tube of Triple Antibiotic Ointment in the Upper Level Men Restroom. Please come and claim this as soon as possible.

Thank you.

One after one, you could hear the snickers, the repulsive gagging, and the whoops and hollers from up and down the endless rows of cubicles. Most of the time this guy's lost and found emails include earings, gloves, or even at one point in time, a pen. Go figure, in an office.

Well, about 15 minutes later, I receive another email. This time from a guy I know that works down the hall, but rarely talk to other than a quick "howdy" as we pass each other in the hall (and no, we really don't say Howdy".

Someone left a large tube of Cock Lube in the Upper Level Men Restroom. Please come and claim this as soon as possible.

Thank you.

penis

Come to find out, there's a bunch of employees that poke fun at every one of these emails this way. And now I know about it, which really only means that I now have another reason to get shitcanned if I ever get caught distributing these kinds of emails. I can't help it though. Here's one more for good measure:

Attention:

The Fire Alarm is being taken out this afternoon to cut on cost.

And since we have crappy life insurance we don’t care if you all

burn up. In event that the Alarm sounds, please disregard and

stay in your death trap of a cube. You will not be advised if an

actual emergency condition exists.

And ehre I thought everyone who worked here was dead behind the eyes. There's life out there after all!

You might not know.....

2009-08-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

Going through the break up/move out process, there's a shit ton of self reflection going on. Hey, it's a major change of life. Perspectives rarely show themselves as blatantly to me as they are right now, so I'm trying to understand the type of person that I am so that I can try to be the kind of person that I want to be. Don't always feel so open, or so raw, but I thought some of you might like a weird ole' peek to the inside of Heat (for those of you who already haven't seen my insides). Here's 50 things you may or may not know about my gay ass.

1. I can't live without my iTouch.
2. I don't ever want to be famouse for anything.
3. I won't use crayons that are brand new, they're my idea of perfection.
4. I'm violent sometimes.
5. Julia Roberts is my favorite.
6. I'm scared to death to be alone.
7. I'm not scared of hard work.
8. I get bored too easy.
9. I'm an alcoholic.
10. I have family that I don't love.
11. My dog's are the greatest.
12. My dad is my hero.
13. I'm a Christian and go to church almost every week.
14. I use humor to mask pain.
15. I love ice cream.
16. Jackie Brown is my all time favorite movie.
17. I wear a size 12 shoe.
18. I used to cut myself as a teenager, sometimes I relapse.
19. I'd love to become a highschool English teacher.
20. I have a hard time with Math.
21. I have two step-kids, I love them dearly.
22. I'm actually a very happy person.
23. I'm going to see my idol, Kylie Minogue in October.
24. I can make love for hours.
25. I'm a risk taker.
26. I don't have very many friends.
27. My favorite color is blue.
28. I'm in love with someone that I don't like a lot of the time.
29. My oldest nephew is like my little brother.
30. I get scared really easily.
31. I don't know how to play video games.
32. I don't like horses.
33. I'm really happy with the size of my penis.
34. I love rainy days the best.
35. I get lonely easily.
36. I'm the fattest I've ever been in my life.
37. I grew up on a farm.
38. I have crippling nightmares sometimes.
39. I love horror movies.
40. There's an autographed copy of Cosmo decorating my work desk of Jennifer Lopez.
41. I can't stand toenails.
42. I get crushes on people way too easily.
43. I could quit smoking if I felt like it.
44. I think anal is weird, but good.
45. Sometimes I donate my time.
46. I like to sleep while snuggling with my dog.
47. I don't like to be touched if I don't welcome it first.
48. I think I'm going to die in my 60's.
49. I still love my ex-boyfriend.
50. Life cereal is the food of the God's.

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock

2009-08-05T13:53:00.000-07:00

So I pick up my new apartment keys on Friday over my lunch hour. Have yet to do any packing, for a number of reasons. The main reason including that the ex doesn't want to come to terms with the fact that this is really happening. The few people I've told of what's going down have all expressed their concerns with his mental state once he lets it hit home, suggesting that I make this move as fast as I possibly can. So I suppose a bunch of moving boxes laying around for the last week would not have been good for his psyche, nor my belongings when the bipolar roller coaster leaves the platform. It doesn't help that I'm also putting in a 72 hr work week between the 2 jobs and am so dragging ass the way it is.

So I think I might pick up the keys on Friday, take a carload of my things that he won't even notice over this weekend. Along with a few changes of clothes, pick up some toiletries, and pack up a sleeping bag. That way I can ask for the next weekend off from job #2 for moving the rest of the major things but have the new place set up enough to stay at. My patience are deffinately worn thin over the fact that I've been trying to move for over a month, but have either not had the availability of a good place to go or else the means to do so.

In the same breath it's pretty weird to know that the time has come and where I thought I'd be out of the door running and screaming, I'm not. I'm not saying that I want things to stay the way that they are, or that I'm questioning my decision. Just the feeling of the end looming, yet, without any kind of closure. I took the kids to the sitter on my way to work this morning, probably my last time doing that, and instead of feeling dread or sadness, felt only numb. And that's okay with me. Not like I won't ever see them again, just probably won't be for a while, my choice as well.

So with that said, I'm about off to go to my home of 2 more days, and do my best to make sure that the last 2 days are as uneventful as they can be. Everything's worked out peachy up until this point, no reason it won't for the rest. Layta

Adult MeMe

2009-08-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

The “Adult Questions - Don’t Be a Pussy” meme.

1. Is there anyone on your blogroll you would have sex with?
Well sure!

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
I'm more of a lady of the night myself.....

3. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Suprisingly no, I'm such a seasoned drinker that I'd be more likely to roll into a coma than puke.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
I have not, and no I haven't ever been offered money to put them back on either.

5. Shower or bath while having sex?
Swimming Pool

6. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I want a flip flopper.

7. Do you love someone on your blogroll?
Well sure!

8. Love or Money?
They make money every day, can't manufacture love though.

9. Credit cards or cash?
Cash

10. Have you ever wanted a best friend?
Been lucky enough to have a few.

11. Camping or a 5 star hotel?
Camping all the way

12. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Wal-mart parking lot.

13. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
I guess if I had too....I'd rather not though

14. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nope

15. Ever been to a bar?
Hells yeah

16. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
No! That'd be like getting kicked out of church for me, I'd have no where else to go

17. Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
Usually all the people I drink with would just leave me laying on the ground.

18. Had sex in a movie theater?
A handy.

19. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes please!

20. Have you ever had sex at work?
No, everyone here is a total boner kill anyhow.

21. Ever been to an adult store?
Sure have

22. Bought something from an adult store?
Nothing too exciting, but yay for porno

23. Been caught having sex?
Mom....we were just talking

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
I'm not sure, probably.

25. Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
You mean people share names before copulating? no way!

so very true

2009-08-03T14:11:00.001-07:00

iTouch my Shuffle

2009-07-31T09:04:00.000-07:00

I've never posted one of those shuffle game thingers to where you set your iPod on shuffle and answer questions with the following song titles. So here we go, hopefully none of my Amy Grant songs pop up.

What do your friends think of you?Monster-L7, I'm really not, but do love a good Monster Movie

If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say...
I turn to You- Mel C., Hello 2001, BTW, I only turn to my right hand.

How would you describe yourself?HA! Pussy-Lords of Acid, I guess I am what I refuse to eat?

What do you like in a guy/girl?Hide U- Kosheen, yeah that's pretty much right

How do you feel today?Love Sensation- Loleatta Halloway, only lovely sensation I'm gonna be feeling is cashing both of my paychecks in about an hour

What is your life’s purpose?
Take me Away-4 Strings, Yes Calgon.....you are my life's purpose.

What is your motto?My Destiny-Kim English, and here I thought it was "We're not leavin' till we're heavin'"

What do you think about very often?
Living Dead Girl-Rob Zombie, I think of Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 coming out on August 28th quite frequently lately, actually! WEEEEEEEE!!!! NERD!

What is 2+2?Stand Inside Your Love-Smashing Pumpkins, This one's just gay and nothing would make sense.....except that "4" song. It's pretty good.

What do you think of your best friend?
Spunk-Greek buck, but I also think of that from my worst enemy too

What do you think of your special someone?
Gimme More-Britney, It's 2 years ago BITCH

What is your favorite makeout song?
LoveGame-Lady GaGa, No, it's my favorite riding on a disco stick song actually

What is your life story?Start Rockin'-Anitloop, well, it deffinately aint "Stop Rockin'" fo sho!

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Star Catching Girl-Brother Brown, because Football catching boy is way too dangerous

What do you think of when your special someone comes in the room?Pitchin' (In Every Direction)-Hi-Gate, Sounds like I'm getting gang banged

What will you/did you dance to at your wedding?
One Eye Shut-Robbie Rivera, Cause I'm going to have to be completely hammered to ever get married.

What will they play at your funeral?HA HA HA HA!!! Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon by Marilyn Manson, I guess that's fitting

Well.....on a lighter note!

2009-07-21T13:38:00.001-07:00

She Wolf

2009-07-15T06:08:00.001-07:00

I adore Shakira. Even when she sounds like a billy goat. The billy goat's toned down a bit for her new single, which I equally adore. I listen to a lot of Spanish singing divas, Shakira, Fey, Thalia, etc. and really enjoy the fact that they all usually have a few disco inspired tracks on most albums (or at least release remix versions). But I feel like She Wolf is dripping with all the discoey goodness that Madonna creaked the door open for with "Confessions" and Lady gaga blew open with "The Fame". I'm rilly rilly hoping that dance/pop/electronica music is coming back in it's cylce that it usually goes through every 5 to 10 years. I could use some more fun to some beats that are sick while I take a ride on my disco stick.

Take a listen to the track on my playlist below if you want.

On a side note, I took some emergency effedrine that I have in my desk for days where I feel severely sleep deprived. Today was one of those days....now I feel like Speedy fricken Gonzalez. Whoop Whoop!

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/16021302027

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

2009-07-10T08:21:00.000-07:00

Hey there Davey....welcome to shirtless Friday.

Not My Day

2009-07-10T06:40:00.000-07:00

So I was 25 minutes late to work today......baby Jesus could come down from the sky, give me back stage passes to Kylie, and line up all of the Abercrombie ass I could eat, and I am never that late. I am so waiting for my boss to pull me aside....while I'm blogging.

In my rush this A.M. I forgot my badge to get into the building. No big deal, thinks me, until I meet "UUUGGGGGGHHHHHH" face. Now let me tell you, that most people I work with are pretty nice. We're all dead behind the corporate eyes, but yet still try to look out for one another. "UUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH" face must be new. She walked right by the transparent door, looking at me in the eyes all the way, gets to the last bit of my focalpoint, I shrug my shoulders like "what the fuck", she pauses, double takes, looks at her watch, scratches her pussy, eats a muffin, smells her hand, then decides she can open one pane glass door and let me in. As she rolls her eyes at me.

Let me tell you this. NO ONE ROLLS THEIR EYES AT ME! I asked, "Is there a problem, Miss?" and I got the cold shoulder as she walked away. There was another poor late soul about 50 ft. behind me....I waited my turn, and held the door....

My karma better be damn good.....

Ooops....Oh My

2009-06-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

You know.....sometimes as a gay person, when you learn how to live your life as self-sufficently as possible, you kind of forget to give a heads up to the people that are actually keeping tabs on you. Case in point, my favorite lez-bros Kendra and Karissa. Been really weird on the homefront on my end for the last few weeks, of which they know all about. My cell was shut off last week in part of poverty on my end or vindictiveness on someone else's that I "share" my plan with, not sure which yet. Either way, my line of contact with my loved one's is pretty much cut off or limited to emails. Lezbros went on a Lezcon 5 mission to figure out what was going on with their Nancy Boy Heat and called messaged my buddys. End of the day, I just hung my embarassed head a lil low and hoped no one would call and find out my douchiness in bill paying/plan sharing. After all the bitching and moaning that I've unloaded on these chikas, I should have give them the heads up. It's nice to know that someone worries about you when things are a little whacked, but I feel bad about it and really didn't mean to cause a stink. So I guess that's life lesson #2,982....don't assume that you can duck under the radar when a couple of dykes are involved. Love you girls, talk to you soon, lol

Pride Weekend

2009-06-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

The weekend actually got off to a pretty good start. Bought the new Friday the 13th on Friday night. Saturday, got up early, skipped the step-son's baseball game and took Capone down to the Pride Parade downtown. The parade was short and sweet, like usual. I was standing in front of a hotel watching the parade, and some meat-heads in town for the College world series kept yelling "FAGGOTS!" from their hotel room windows though the whole thing. That stuff really irritates the hell out of me, even if it's just a word from the mouths of some fucking retarded coward. Nonetheless, when the inevitable bible thumping protestors walked right by me carrying their "I'm Going to Hell for Smoking Pole" signs, I kinda lost it on them. All I did was point, stare daggers into the eyes of what appeared to be the circus ringleader and shouted "SHAME ON YOU!" over and over again until they got tired of telling me I was damned for eternity unless I take the dick out of my ass and walked on to badger some other homos. Pride as usual in the big O. At least my dog got a new frisbee.

Attempted to go out on Saturday night. Got all the way down to the riverfront, paid the money to get in, bought $20 bucks in drink tickets, and all of a sudden my boyfriend couldnt even stand up anymore. It appears that he needed to take God knows how many shots at home whilst I was in the shower getting ready. He's socially retarded, so in order to be around people, he thinks he needs to be shitfaced. So after holding him up guiding him, we made it all the way to the parking lot, where he just couldn't walk anymore. I left him on an island to go get the car. When I got back people where surrounding him, checking to see if he was breathing while sprawled out on his back passed out. Fucking embarassing.

I broke up with him yesterday.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Boobs?

2009-06-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Walkin' down the street going to my comic book shop last Saturday morning, browsing through the store fronts, and I run across this.

I don't know how I would react to seeing a big ole giant pair of size 52 N titties, but I don't think it would be very well. God bless the back of the woman who's luggin' around those things.

Long time no see....

2009-06-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hi kids,

Sorry for nothing interesting going on around here in forever. Good ole' Heat definately knows how to keep an audience, huh?

Well, it's not that nothing's been going on lately, in fact, I could probably write two blogs with everything going on right now. Unfortunately enough, quantity does not always mean quality, in that you all would still be bored to tears with what I have to say.

On the upside, there's defiantely going to be a lot to blog about starting in a few weeks. So if you remember me, please come back for a visit, would ya? Gotta lot of stuff going on, and it all boils down to the few weeks leading up to July. Don't mean to be cryptic or try to enduse suspense where, really, no suspense is due. But nonetheless, if you could keep me in mind, I'd suuuuuure appreciate it.

Later Taters!

P.S. I did have one great lil' thing happen since I last blogged (below). See, I wasn't lyin'!

I think they both have "HAY" fever

2009-05-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Sounds like there's kind of an uproar this morning in the gay community about Adam Lambert not winning Idol cause of his sexuality.....

I personally think these two have been butt fucking each other for months.

The Holy Grail

2009-05-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Guess who's going to be in Oakland on opening night? The biggest mother-fucking fan that she's got........I'm literally gagging.

Gay Marriage in Iowa

2009-05-01T07:15:00.001-07:00

I have two of the best neighbors in the world. They're a lesbian couple who have been together for quite a while, have a very nice looking house and very nice cars. They also have little twin kids, about 3 years old, little boy and a little girl, that they were able to concieve through insemination. On every nice day they walk by our house and stop and pet the dog, then either me or Tom runs into the house to grab a tootsie roll or lollipop for the little ones. Then we stand around and chit chat for a while.

Lately our conversations have revolved around the gay marriage issue in Iowa, 10 minutes away from where we live in Omaha. And I think Landy summed it up the best,

"Could they have picked a more retarded looking couple to fucking throw on the news?" (picture above)

We all concured. These women had about a 1st grade vocabulary and were able to get past the 3 day waiting period because their mom had health issues and was the only one in the household with a valid drivers license to drive them to the courthouse.....

I knew the freakish would come first and the rest are still mulling over colors and flowers. On that note, congratulations to my buds Susie and Linda who got married yesterday. And no, you're not one of the freakish.

Oh yeah, and it's take of your shirt Friday again.

I'd like to LaBouf all over his face.

RIP Bea

2009-04-27T11:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/16021302027

My Bea.....

2009-04-27T07:02:00.001-07:00

I seriously just found out that Bea Arthur has died. Went to the boys room, sat on the pot and cried. Texted all that I thought cared. Got consoled by my work faygette Cynthia. And now I have to blog.

I have never been so sad about a celebrity passing. And it's not like the heavenly angel on earth didn't have it coming, she was elderly enough I suppose. I guess I just thought she'd be the last to go of all of the Golden Girls, she was the strongest! And, she got production credits and still made money off the show, Rue and Betty better not be laughing.

The pregnant pause......

The double take.........

The pants that looked like skirts.......

The collars.............

The man voice...........

The stern eyebrow.......

Mrs. Arthur, I will miss you for the rest of my life. Thank you for being a friend.

It's About Time

2009-04-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

What a week. Celebrating it's closure with a little Michael Gray for song #2 today.

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/16021302027

Teaching Sunday School at church this weekend. Those little fuckers better listen to me.....

Just for one damn day!

2009-04-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

New to HHS:the sequel. Tunes whenever I feel like fucking posting them......

Bought this off iTunes at Mommy's house this weekend, listened to it for the first time leaving the little house on the prarie. If you knew what I accomplished this weekend, it's totally fitting.

P.S. Went to the feed store with my Dad this past weekend to get munchies for the horses. The sister fucking worker behind the counter was chatting with The Dad, who told him I was The Son home for the weekend, and hopefully we could get some potatoes planted in the garden before the rain hit. Sister fucker replied, "Well, I'd get him on his hands and knees so he could get to work. Looks like he's capable." As if I wasn't there. Oh sister fucker......if you only knew about these hands and knees. Ha Ha!

http://www.playlist.com/playlist/16021302027

80's hair

2009-04-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is 80's hair comming back for women? I've seen a lot of bitches walking around looking like this lately.

Be still my beating heart if I start seeing some French Braids walkin around anytime soon.

This is the only 80's hair that I want back.

Take off your shirt Friday!

2009-04-10T08:59:00.001-07:00

So my good friend Cynthia at work Instant Messaged me this link this morning.

cynthia c: http://www.adidas.com/campaigns/campaigns_nz/content/popup/index.asp

ME: holyfuckingshithell

We like to send links back and forth. Usually they're funny news stories or something concerning farts or poop, but today proved to be the best link day ever.

I like the image of a shirtless male body, prefferably a jock-type ridiculous muscle build, smooth in certain parts, fuzzy in others, with a perfect set of cum gutters (abs). In other words, just a fantasy guy, something that I would like to be but prolly won't. But this site is total overload for me, so much that I haven't been able to sit and watch through a whole "swap". And I am soooooo buying a pair of Adidas Shoes the next time i need new gym shoes. You know that's totally pointed to the gay male demographic.

Quiver......

10 LBS

2009-04-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

So...been layin off the sauce (only cause I'm broker than MC Hammer), upping my cardio from 30 mins. to 60, and sometimes skipping supper. Yes, my puppies, I stepped on the scale today and found that I'm a little more than less 10 L to the fuckin' BS. 25 More and I'll be the picture of my own perfection, while saving up for some Nip/Tuck action. Wish me a bit o' luck.

2009-03-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Prom was a lot of fun. And no, luckily there were no Prom Night Dumpster Babys. We don't go out often at all, but the other half made it look like we were seasoned pros by having happy dancing feet all night.

Went to Flixx beforehand for a primer cocktail. I used to work security/barbacking/bartending/VJ at Flixx, so I know pretty much everyone there and get treated pretty well when I show my face. It was early when we got there and no one was there but us and the bartender, we'll call him Bob. I had worked with Bob before and have never really been a fan to say the least, but have never had any real beef with him either. Not too dillusioned to not realize that it prolly was the fact that he showed up being all younger and cuter and all that shit just as I was growing out of my own twinkish faze.

Anyhow...we have a little game that we play with each other that pretty much goes like this, I'm going to say something that either makes your blood boil or effect you in some other dramatic fashion with such ease because I'm totally better than you. Yeah, I'm that mature. Well ladies.....he got me this time. Got me good.

"I have the displeasure of being roomates with Tim."

Double take, pregnant pause like Dorthy on the Golden Girls...."My ex-Tim?"

"Yeah, took me a while to figure it out. But he tried getting a job here and couldn't get hired because of a past fellony. When I found out it was domestic abuse and the way he talked about it, I was able to put two and two together and realized he's the one that broke your leg a few years ago."

What in the fuck can you say to that? I'm usually not at a loss for words, but my breath was devistatingly taken away. This girl's good.

I knew Tim was back in town. He moved away after he beat the living shit out of me on Christmas day over 3 years ago, in my home town where we were visiting my parents. Moved away to not have to face me for what happened, or anyone else that had anything to do to me after I helped keep him out of jail by telling the judge that he couldn't pay my medical bills in the slammer. Apparently 3 years is enough to cool things over and let everyone else forget. Bordering on living in the past or feeling sorry for myself, I haven't really let it go yet, and it's something that I haven't thought about in a while but has shaped my life into what it's been in the subsequent 3 years.

I don't ever talk about it, for as little it's been on my mind. I've always thought it would always just go away. I suppose a little therapy over the matter is a good idea, but it prolly would have been a better one 3 years ago. Violence really is traumatic. In my case, it's made me a little mean, a little bitter towards the world, untrusting of people in general, and ready to hit people when I get angry or distressed. This is what I learned in one night. Kinda sucks to realize just by a casual comment, and to know that the pain is still kinda there even though you would have swore that it's not. Fighting like hell to try and not let it effect the rest of your life is pretty much a losing battle, but really what else is there to do.

Exept blog about it and hope it leaves your system.

PUNS!

2009-03-27T06:33:00.000-07:00

So I sat my happy ass down in my cube (a.k.a the soul sucker of deprivaty)this morning, sat my shit down, and this is what I found. Apples and Oranges. It amused me for about 10 seconds, then I realized how fucking lame I am.

Gay prom is this weekend. The wife had to get me drunk in order to get me to go get fitted for a tux. $250.00 fucking bucks for the both of us to look like douches. I see more unpaid bills and have a sinking feeling in my tummy about them. Apparently our relationship needs "work" so I guess this is how people work out their problems, paying for something they can't afford. Oh fucking well, I hear McDonalds is looking for another part time McNerd. Maybee I'll post pics when all is said and done. I just hope to God I don't wake up pregnant like I did the morning after in High school. I threw out all my wire hangers.

Monday

2009-03-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

Mondays are the worst ever. I don't think I'm a big complainer, but I will always have nothin' good to say about a Monday. Monday is really no different than any other weekday really, only I'm usually a little more hung-over. So today I thought I'd chronical all of my big doings thru my Monday in order to try to understand why they are the way they are:

8:00 am; got to work, on time, don't have my iTouch cause asshat step-son stole it and took it to mom's. Made a note to punch him.

8:15 am; Finally able to log into my peice of shit computer that takes 50 hours to start.

10:10 am; wasting company time by starting to write a blog. Looking forward to my pink slip by mid-afternoon.

10:15 am; remembered broken but halfway functioning headphones in file cabinet, Chaka Kahn is making everything seem a little better.

10:38 am; Sales is making everything worse by being fucking retarded.

11:37 am; IMing my buddy Paul, just talking about weiners and balls.

12:52 pm; Back from lunch, ran home for a nice 15 minute recharge nap and a quick wank. I'd say the day is looking up, but I'm thinking that was prolly going to be the best part of my day.

1:01 pm; Got a text from BFF Philson, Club Joy is back open this weekend. I barbacked there before it closed 4 years ago, the funnest time in my life. See if I can't get my job back.

2:18 pm; Out of steam.

4:00 pm; One. More. Hour.

4:06 pm; Asshat step-son calls to tell me that my iTouch is frozen and won't work. Making a note to punch him twice.

Skipping ahead to 5:00 pm; running out the effing door

5:30; cocktail in hand and a step-son punched twice

Ovaries

2009-02-12T06:09:00.000-08:00

Who besides me wants to stab this woman in the baby making parts? What a douche.

99 things about me meme

2009-01-30T14:45:00.000-08:00

Heat's Hate Spot

2009-01-15T07:32:00.000-08:00

So I'm totally not shitting rainbows today, so I will be listing my current hatefull oppinions. I hope it offends.

I hate my cubicle mate's choice of music that she blares to the whole office. Boys 2 Men were really rad in the 90's for a reason, the 90's sucked my teenage ass.

I hate walking 15 feet from my front door to my car and having the snot fucking freeze in my nose before I get from point A. to point B.

I hate my dog for getting into shit and thus barfing all over my fucking living room.

I hate pregnant women (although I think I already covered this topic). There are 3 of them around me in my office right now, one of which I am covering. They are all worse than drag queens, and I find those people vile and horrible most of the time as well.

I hate being told what to do, and so far that's happened to me about 15 fucking times this morning already.

I hate being poor and having to sit home and look at the fucking tv. I also hate the current economy, not being able to get a raise this year and having hours cut. This is my fucking living people.

I'm done.....

But I do Love the new Jason pics for F13.......

Mr. Myers Prototype Mask for H2

2009-01-09T06:17:00.001-08:00

So Ray Ray, it's you and me here bud. You want H2 updates, you come see good ole Heat cause wheather anyone else gives a shit or not, I'm posting them.

1. Danielle Harris (Jamie Halloween 4 and 5, Annie Brackett in the remake) is coming back for H2.

2. The release date bumped up from October to August (how can they do this with a movie that hasn't even started filming?)

3. There is going to be a plathora of new characters, I've read a casting memo that's kind of a buzzkill cause these are characters who die, and it tells how they die, sounds VERY very cool.

4. They're moving the shoot from Pasadena (remake) to a town in Georgia, and if you ask me Georgia is just fucking scary to begin with.

5. Here is a prototype pic of the new Myers Mask. Notice the bullet hole Ray Ray? Looks like a graze to me.....

Have a very very very merry Christmas, and a happy happy happy holiday!!

2008-12-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

I BETTER GET THEM CHA-CHA HEELS!

Well, it's that dreaded and much loved time of year again. Hoping everyone does and gets just what they want this year.

Tonight is good ole' Christmas Eve. To me, Christmas Eve is the weirdest God damn day on the calendar. I think it's because it drives everyone up the fucking wall knowing that the "Day of all Days" is in a few short hours. And some people, no matter how many months in advance they have planned, the one thing that they forgot/didn't have time to do, just totally ruins everything for them. My mother and partner included.

Another reason why I think it's weird, is that for as much of a traditional Holiday it is, I have never had a similar Christmas Eve in my life. Just within the last few years I can think of where I have spent Christmas Eve working, Driving in the car to get to my parents, laying on the living room floor watching blacksploitation movies, in the hospital after getting beat up, drunk in the bar, etc. etc. This year it looks like I will be rather busy. Gonna take the kids to children's service at gay church at 6, go to brother in law's house for the other half's Christmas, go back to gay church at 8 to be in a Christmas play, and go back to brother in law's to get drunk and play pool. Tentatively.

Busy night, just to have it all over with in 10 minutes tomorrow when the kids ravage their gifts. Will it be worth it all? Probably not, but it will be fun in bits and pieces. Although I could go all Divine like in John Water's "Female Trouble" where she throws the Christmas Tree on her mother screaming "Fuck you! Fuck you! I Hate You! You're Horrible People!"

Merry Christmas, hookers....

P.S. Nice girls don't wear Cha-Cha Heels!

Halloween 2

2008-12-24T10:35:00.001-08:00

Well, it's official. After a year of bitching and moaning about how hard and horrible it was to direct the re-make of Halloween and vowing not to come back to do a sequel, the Weinsteins have green-lit "Halloween Dos" helmed by non-other than, Rob the fraggin' Zombie.

H2, in my oppinion will probably be a lot better than the remake. Sounds like it's going to be a whole new story line, rather than a remake of Halloween 2. It will have characters from the original, Dr. Loomis and Laurie Strode, but will not take place at the hospital like the original sequel. It will, however, continue exactly where the re-make left off, which makes me very happy. What makes me a little nervouse is that they start filming in March and already plan on releasing the movie in October of 2009. As far as I knew, a script was yet to be written. Uh-Oh.

The image below is a teaser, not unlike many of the little teasers that Zombie always leaks in advance before any of his movies have been completed to give you a little taste of what's to come. Here's the first of, I'm sure, many teasers:

Party Time

2008-12-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

K, so I'm either too stupid or too lazy to figure out how to add my totally awesomest music playlist onto my post here, so here's the link that you can copy and paste.....think you can handle it? Good deal, Sunshine!

http://view.playlist.com/11409470475

This is my saving grace at work, all of my deliciously faggy songs that pull me up by my bootstraps and help me through. Take a listen, would you? As I love to push my musical tastes off on everyone, can you tell I used to DJ? I realize that the list is quite long, so let me just point you towards a few gems that are particularly favorites of mine.

Spankox-To the club

I used to play this constantly about 4 years ago, my roomate wanted to effing kill me.

Rihanna-Take a Bow (unkown remix)

I have a hard time deciding if I like the original version or the remix more.

Leanne Rimes-Tick Tock (Thunderpuss remix)

This remix is so generically GAY, but I think that's why I love it.

Lost Witness-7 Colours

A song about rainbows, what the hell isn't to like?

Towa Tei feat Kylie Minogue- G.B.I (German Bold Itallic)

Probably the weirdest song she's ever been a part of, but very very cool. When I'm alone I try vogueing to it......terribly.

Take a quick listen, and heck, if you get time, send me your playlists. I love snooping around in other people's tastes.

Kill Kill Kill Die Die Die

2008-12-05T08:12:00.001-08:00

Hells F-ing Yes. Michael and Leatherface have been reinvented, Jason is getting his turn, and next up we'll be getting a new Freddy. I'd rather have them start the franchise over than to continue with shitty sequels. My horror movie boner is engorged! YAY!

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810022022/trailer

Thanks-friggin-giving

2008-12-01T14:54:00.000-08:00

So, I went home to my folks for Thanksgiving this weekend and got roped into going to church with them. Now, I go to church almost every Sunday, I honestly do, but my parents' church is so fucked up it's crazy.

I walked out of their church having learned that Jim Morrison and Janis JAPLIN (Yes, he said Japlan) are burning in hell and died so soon because of that pesky rock and roll music.

AND

Gays, Jews, Catholics, Muslums, Hindus, etc. etc. etc. are banding together to create a super religeon and we are going to throw Evangelicals into concentration camps..........

WHAT THE FUCK?

Here's the deal, it got me thinking, how awesome would a concentration camp be for people like this fucking whack job? First, I'd give him an abortion, then I'd dress him in drag, then I'd make him suck on a big fat cock..........who wants to help me make my realization possible

Best Week Ever!

2008-11-14T12:59:00.000-08:00

Sweet....so in the course of the last week 1.) My car broke down 2.)I got the humaine society called on me 3.) I found out I'm being sued.

1.) Car

If anyone has a Cavalier....the fuel pump goes out around 75,000 miles. Especially if you drive it almost all the way out of fuel. Lesson learned $600 bucks later. And on the very same week I had to make my house payment!

Leading me to give the bank of Mom and Dad a call to see if they could help bail me out. I love being an adult!

2.) The Humaine Society.

Aparently it's inhumaine to let your dog stay outside on nice days on his leash for 4 hours at a time, with ample food and water, shelter-that being the garage he can go into, and a big comfy dog bed. It's better to have him locked in the laundry room were he can't pee or poop, get fresh air, lay in the sun, and play in the grass. Lesson learned again. Now I know that Omaha's new leash law is that a dog can only be tied up for 15 minutes at a time. There you go Capone! Knowledge is power!

3.) Getting sued....

Not really going to go into this one but if there is one thing that I have remembered from a queen and took with me it's, "You are nobody until you've been sued." Well ya'll, I'm finally somebody.

Despite it all, there's no way in hell anyone or thing can take this smile off my face. My wallet might be empty, my kids' Christmas might be a little shitty, but fuck anyone if you think you can really take anything away from me.

Rant Over....

BTW, the other half's entire family is coming over tomorrow for early Thanksgiving. And when I say entire family I'm talking brothers, sisters, kids, spouses, step-kids, ex-spouses, aunts, uncles and cousins. Looking at 40+ people as of right now. BUT, I am ready...........

Expect a story next week.

Halloween (one fucking week later)

2008-11-07T13:19:00.000-08:00

Thats for sticking your dick in the pumpkin!

So, my favorite day of the year, Halloween, was last Friday. Yeah, I realize I should have blogged about this a week ago, but honey......as much as it pains me to say it, I'm Halloweened out. I guess it doesn't help when you start decorating your house like a ridiculous faggot for halloween one week before October begins, but alas.

Decorations were rocking though, pumpkins carved, ghosts hanging, monsters strapped to the trees in the front yard, a Michael Myers dummy sitting on the bench on the front porch with a strobe light on him. We got a TON of trick or treaters that went through 7 lbs. of candy. This being the first year in the house where we're at now, we didn't know if we'd get many. But I guess our yard said everything but "Come get some fucking candy". I even brought the big house stereo speakers out to play booming horror movie soundtracks.We had parents taking pictures of the house and one of us would jump out and scare the older kids, regular Halloween shit. At the end of the night we had a couple kids come back just to see if they could hang out, and you should have seen all the kids riding their bikes past the house the next day. Was kinda funny.

My hubby went back and forth, as he does every year, saying he's not dressing up and getting mad about it, but we always find something for him at the last minute. Unfortunately this year, my costume was the same way, very last minute and very bad. I was trying for a Wolfman look, but just ended up looking like a retard. My best Dyke friends from my hometown came down to help celebrate, as Halloween is also my birthday. We made the mistake of going out the night before, so by the time trick or treating was done with, and I looked at my stupid costume, and started feeling like shit from drinking too much the night before, I said screw it, I'm staying home for the night. Thus straying from my yearly downtown Halloween shenanigans.

All in all, Halloween was awesome cause of the trick or treaters, but as a birthday it was pretty lame. I'm just glad I got to spend it with a couple of people who give a shit about me, so I guess that's all that rilly matters now, huh?

The Big Lezbowski

She's a dyke, so I don't know if that's a costume or her regular wardrobe?

LAME