Having been a suicidal teenager over guilt with my emerging sexuality, the focus as of late has really brought a lot of shit back. Obviously, not only for me, but for a lot of people. I remember always having a plan to either run away as far as I could or else making a trip to the medicine cabinet in case my parents ever found out. Well they did find out when I was 16 and found a stack of printed out gay porn images that I got from my sister's internet connection earlier that summer. After having to burn them, and a confrontation where I basically told my mom that I would knock her fucking lights out if she didn't get out of my way and let me shut myself up in my room, I set my alarm for 3am so I could decide which one I was going to pursue. The alarm never went off and my Dad woke me up the next morning for school, and nothing was talked about again for the next 3 years. But I knew one thing....watch your fucking step.
Teenage suicide has always been an epidemic of its own, although its ungodly with gay youth. I'm glad that its reached the point where it is as visable now, rather than just burying your kid because he was "too sad". But there are so many misunderstood kids out there, who are not gay, that drive themselves to take this drastic act for the same reason gay kids do. They're different. God forbid any kid can be different without being labeled as something negative.
Growm ups in general, gays included, forget what its really like to have this type of torment. Probably all because we are in a place that we all choose to be at this point. When you're growing up, there is no choice, you're stuck with where you're at. Just like people from 3rd world countries would give a nut to live in a place like Omaha, so do many kids that would like to get out of their torment but have no where to go.
Parents are wrong, religeon is wrong, teachers don't get paid enough to be right, so where the hell does that leave a kid who doesn't fit in? Alone. Are there more resources now than ever before, yes. But when a person can't reach out to a person of youth for fear of being labeled a sexual predator, those resources are as good as a screen name in a chatroom. One your parents can find out about or block all together. Its a sad day for kids when the resouces are there, but they can't be used as they are intended for.
Does it get better, absolutely. But when you're living a 4 year jail sentance that is high school, things can get pretty fucking drastic. If ever there was a time for the "moral majority" to get straight, its now. That is why these kids are dying. Their parents are too busy condemning them without any clue.
Change is in the air, and my fingers are crossed. God bless all the youth that get to this point that are never ever heard about. Happens every day, and its friggin sickening.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
tick, tick, tick
I saw my folks today, along with my sister and her family. Was a good afternoon, especially the fact that I was invited into my sister's home after almost a year of tension between us. All is over when it comes to all of that, and we can get along and talk and laugh kind of like we always have.
My Grandpa passed away two weeks ago, and we've all seen each other for the funeral. Life is calming down for my Mom, which was one of my major concerns. Me and my sister mending a rift is helping, I'm sure. And getting together on my neice's birthday was a nice change of pace for everyone since we got together under a fun circumstance.
My mom took me aside for a minute saying she had something for me as she pulled out her purse. I rolled my eyes, expecting that she was going to give me an early birthday presant to her cash strapped son, ready to oppose and refuse. Instead she pulled out a watch that my grandpa used to wear, as well as a ring that he made himself and wore. Kept my shit together, allowed my eyes to water up a bit, and gladly accepted.
I put them both on tonight and wonder how they looked on him. The watch is pretty generic, but it might as well be a Rollex to me, I don't even want to change the band on it. The ring is another story. I think its very beautiful, masculine, and the fact that he cut and shapped the stone (its literally a stone that he buffed down and cut) it means a lot.
I didn't go see Grandpa in the last year he was alive. Everyone in the world said that we might as well be the same person (save for the sexuality bit) and I don't feel bad for not being one of the last people to be around him. If we were so alike, I wouldn't want anyone around me, let alone all the people that were. I have no regrets there. I know its cool. But my momentos are priceless and I'm greatfull that I have them as reminders of part of him.
Take care G-pa, make sure I don't lose this stuff or ill never forgive myself, lol.
My Grandpa passed away two weeks ago, and we've all seen each other for the funeral. Life is calming down for my Mom, which was one of my major concerns. Me and my sister mending a rift is helping, I'm sure. And getting together on my neice's birthday was a nice change of pace for everyone since we got together under a fun circumstance.
My mom took me aside for a minute saying she had something for me as she pulled out her purse. I rolled my eyes, expecting that she was going to give me an early birthday presant to her cash strapped son, ready to oppose and refuse. Instead she pulled out a watch that my grandpa used to wear, as well as a ring that he made himself and wore. Kept my shit together, allowed my eyes to water up a bit, and gladly accepted.
I put them both on tonight and wonder how they looked on him. The watch is pretty generic, but it might as well be a Rollex to me, I don't even want to change the band on it. The ring is another story. I think its very beautiful, masculine, and the fact that he cut and shapped the stone (its literally a stone that he buffed down and cut) it means a lot.
I didn't go see Grandpa in the last year he was alive. Everyone in the world said that we might as well be the same person (save for the sexuality bit) and I don't feel bad for not being one of the last people to be around him. If we were so alike, I wouldn't want anyone around me, let alone all the people that were. I have no regrets there. I know its cool. But my momentos are priceless and I'm greatfull that I have them as reminders of part of him.
Take care G-pa, make sure I don't lose this stuff or ill never forgive myself, lol.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
reeeee-wind
Just like the new season of Glee, I'm back. Either that or you can insert your herpes jokes here. Whirlwind of a summer, this bitch gets overwhelmed easily so a public break was in order as to keep a lil bit o' cooth. Here's a quick A.D.D rundown of the season:
Spent time with my buddies like never before. Never thought I could love them more than how I always loved them. JP and Shua, I love being the 3 Amigas again.
Yoga master. Had a moment with gym guy. Hot, chaste, over.
Lost my job, have been in a vicious cycle of interviews, faulse starts, and down right rejection. Temping during the day in the service industry, loving what I do again. Still DJing at my bar, looking forward to every Friday and Saturday night. Meeting new and exciting friends every week. Realizing that I'm a fun person to be around. Making new connections and earning respect through my work ethic every day.
Lady Gaga in KC was my highlight. She's around so much it gets annoying but the live show is where its at.
Met a boy I really care for and put my head in the place it needs to be. The big one, not smaller one.
Split up with said guy, but care for him knowing he did not a damn thing wrong, just didn't happen as planned.
Learned how to survive in hard times without depending on anyone else's help.
Granpa died. RIP gramps. We looked exactly alike and acted the same too, same attitude, stature, assholeness. Was harder on me than I thought it would be, but after a week of drunkeness I'm over it and know that I'm not the dead one.
Connected with someone that I can only explain as the most rejuvenating person I've ever run into by chance. I miss him when he's not around. And since I usually want all the space I can get, this is a wonderfully different feeling to me.
So that's the wrap up. Did it over my phone, so forgive the typos, if this even gets posted. I guess if you see this it worked.
Love you bitches....
Spent time with my buddies like never before. Never thought I could love them more than how I always loved them. JP and Shua, I love being the 3 Amigas again.
Yoga master. Had a moment with gym guy. Hot, chaste, over.
Lost my job, have been in a vicious cycle of interviews, faulse starts, and down right rejection. Temping during the day in the service industry, loving what I do again. Still DJing at my bar, looking forward to every Friday and Saturday night. Meeting new and exciting friends every week. Realizing that I'm a fun person to be around. Making new connections and earning respect through my work ethic every day.
Lady Gaga in KC was my highlight. She's around so much it gets annoying but the live show is where its at.
Met a boy I really care for and put my head in the place it needs to be. The big one, not smaller one.
Split up with said guy, but care for him knowing he did not a damn thing wrong, just didn't happen as planned.
Learned how to survive in hard times without depending on anyone else's help.
Granpa died. RIP gramps. We looked exactly alike and acted the same too, same attitude, stature, assholeness. Was harder on me than I thought it would be, but after a week of drunkeness I'm over it and know that I'm not the dead one.
Connected with someone that I can only explain as the most rejuvenating person I've ever run into by chance. I miss him when he's not around. And since I usually want all the space I can get, this is a wonderfully different feeling to me.
So that's the wrap up. Did it over my phone, so forgive the typos, if this even gets posted. I guess if you see this it worked.
Love you bitches....
Monday, July 19, 2010
Jack and Diane and a Lesbian Minogue
Source: NY Post July 16, 2010
The lesbian werewolf picture Jack and Diane has called upon singer/actress Kylie Minogue for a bit of a threesome.
According to the NY Post's sources, she'll play a "heavily tattooed lesbian" and join stars Juno Temple and Riley Keough.
The film concerns two girls who meet in New York City and become embroiled in a whirlwind love affair. Unfortunately, one of them is leaving the city soon and suffering visions of lycanthropy.
Bradley Rust Gray writes and directs.
The lesbian werewolf picture Jack and Diane has called upon singer/actress Kylie Minogue for a bit of a threesome.
According to the NY Post's sources, she'll play a "heavily tattooed lesbian" and join stars Juno Temple and Riley Keough.
The film concerns two girls who meet in New York City and become embroiled in a whirlwind love affair. Unfortunately, one of them is leaving the city soon and suffering visions of lycanthropy.
Bradley Rust Gray writes and directs.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Kylie, Behave!!!!!
Watch where you hold that mic Kylie, ahhhhhh!
Poor girl, she's so sweet and innocent with that joyful expression on her face with her new stuffed friend. Then I go and pander to a dirty minded suggestion of an unfortunate microphone placement. Forgive me Kylie, I couldnt help it.
Love,
Heat
Friday, July 9, 2010
The New Guy
Well, I met someone new over pride last weekend. Spent the past week getting to know him and have really enjoyed the time spent. I met him down on the riverfront after getting out of the parade and I was walking around looking at the pride booths and whatnot while waiting for my friends to show up. I was making my way to the beer tent when I was approached by this guy with the gay professionals neworking team and asked if I would wear one of their stickers. We chatted it up for a bit, as he put my sticker on my chest for me, and it was pretty obvious that there was some mutual attraction going on.
I left to continue exploring what was the faggiest weekend in Omaha, getting that beer from the beer tent and buying various rainbow themed things as somehow that crap really appeals to me on the one day a year. I ended up running into the “gay professional” guy again, this time him asking if I might have an extra drink ticket, as he was wanted to get a beer for his friend and himself but was short one. I liked this approach, and wonder even now if it was just a ploy to talk some more, which was perfectly fine by me. I walked with him back to the beer tent, introduced ourselves even further, talked a bit more, and ended up exchanging phone numbers.
Fast forward to a few days later and we’ve got a movie date set up at my place. We didn’t get to the movie, as we opened a bottle of wine and talk talk talked getting to know each other. Was pretty cool, there seems to be a lot that we have in common starting with being a couple of blue collar guys with two jobs each. We’re also artistic in our own rights, we both love to paint and he’s a fantastic photographer. He does a lot of community work and is always busy with something, which I find very attractive in a guy. He’s in his early 40’s, looks like he’s in his mid 30’s, very tall compared to me, maybee about 6’2, light complexion, brown eyes, very funny, and very kind, and I think really cute. Pretty different from anyone I’ve gone out with before, which is a good thing considering my track record.
So, going slow with this one, seeing what we would both want out of anything and see if they mesh well together. I feel pretty secure with him, don’t feel like theres any hidden agenda or that he’s putting up an act and will totally change in a month. Has a geniune personality and that’s pretty awesome to see in someone who you’ve only just met. Going to spend some more time this weekend and I’m looking forward to it.
I left to continue exploring what was the faggiest weekend in Omaha, getting that beer from the beer tent and buying various rainbow themed things as somehow that crap really appeals to me on the one day a year. I ended up running into the “gay professional” guy again, this time him asking if I might have an extra drink ticket, as he was wanted to get a beer for his friend and himself but was short one. I liked this approach, and wonder even now if it was just a ploy to talk some more, which was perfectly fine by me. I walked with him back to the beer tent, introduced ourselves even further, talked a bit more, and ended up exchanging phone numbers.
Fast forward to a few days later and we’ve got a movie date set up at my place. We didn’t get to the movie, as we opened a bottle of wine and talk talk talked getting to know each other. Was pretty cool, there seems to be a lot that we have in common starting with being a couple of blue collar guys with two jobs each. We’re also artistic in our own rights, we both love to paint and he’s a fantastic photographer. He does a lot of community work and is always busy with something, which I find very attractive in a guy. He’s in his early 40’s, looks like he’s in his mid 30’s, very tall compared to me, maybee about 6’2, light complexion, brown eyes, very funny, and very kind, and I think really cute. Pretty different from anyone I’ve gone out with before, which is a good thing considering my track record.
So, going slow with this one, seeing what we would both want out of anything and see if they mesh well together. I feel pretty secure with him, don’t feel like theres any hidden agenda or that he’s putting up an act and will totally change in a month. Has a geniune personality and that’s pretty awesome to see in someone who you’ve only just met. Going to spend some more time this weekend and I’m looking forward to it.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Things accomplished over Pride/4th weekend
Drank an enormous amount of alcohol.
Was in the Pride parade.
Saw almost every single friend I have in Omaha.
Met a guy.
Went to jail for two hours.
Did lunch with my parents.
Bought a ridiculous pair of shoes.
Spent my rent money.
Agreed to taking in a Chihuahua.
Took everything left that belongs to my ex to the dumpster.
Passed the hell out with one of my besties.
Ate like a pig.
Made new friends.
Consumed more jello shots than one should ever be allowed.
Got sunburned.
Molested some random guy on the dancefloor.
Watched some pyro.
Made a date.
Flipped of protesters.
Overshared yet again on Facebook.
And that’s just what I remember. Hopefully I wasn’t too much of a shitty faggot to anyone :-)
Was in the Pride parade.
Saw almost every single friend I have in Omaha.
Met a guy.
Went to jail for two hours.
Did lunch with my parents.
Bought a ridiculous pair of shoes.
Spent my rent money.
Agreed to taking in a Chihuahua.
Took everything left that belongs to my ex to the dumpster.
Passed the hell out with one of my besties.
Ate like a pig.
Made new friends.
Consumed more jello shots than one should ever be allowed.
Got sunburned.
Molested some random guy on the dancefloor.
Watched some pyro.
Made a date.
Flipped of protesters.
Overshared yet again on Facebook.
And that’s just what I remember. Hopefully I wasn’t too much of a shitty faggot to anyone :-)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Aphrodite-Online
Well, it's here. Kylie's "Aphrodite" is posted in it's entirety online as an NPR first listen.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128109135
I'm only on the third song, but I think it's pretty amazing, as I knew it would be. Read through the article and suprised to see it reveal that there are no ballads. I hate ballads, so that makes me double happy. Can't wait till my vynils shows up along with my special edition cd/dvd. Check it out!!!!!
(Everything is Beautiful, is my favorite so far)
Monday, June 28, 2010
The CWS brings more drama than any gay bar in Omaha
Downtown Omaha has been a bit of a nightmare for the last week and a half. It always seems that people want to book events at the same time that the College World Series is taking place in the two weeks that it goes on. Great for revenue for the city, but an annoyance to those of us that live and/or work in the area. Everything is packed, people don’t know where they’re going or they want to stand around and gawk at everything in especially crowded areas like the Old Market. My Fays and I went out for lunch around noonish on Saturday and there were already scores of drunk as shit people stumbling around. Surprisingly enough, I’ve not yet seen near as much vomit on the sidewalks as I had expected. So that’s a good thing.
I was walking home at 1:30am from my job at the bar on Saturday night, takes me roughly a half an hour. My rules for night time walking are, I don’t speak to anyone for any reason that I don’t know, no iPod, no stops unless absolutely necessary. It’s not that I’m journeying through the ghetto, but I do a LOT of walking, and I know that if anything is going to happen to me, it’s going to be at that time of the day. Again, not that I’m worried about anything happening, just making sure I’m not a sitting duck.
In the time it took me to get home, I walked by or through 2 drunken arguments, one brawl in a parking lot, and was somewhat of a witness to a car slamming into God knows what. The drunken arguments were no big deal, if you’ve ever been drunk, you’ve been in one. Most notably was the guy screaming in his girlfriend’s face that she was a slutty whore for fucking his best friend 7 times. One of those guys who bawls as he screams. “Do you have any idea how bad that makes me feel!?!?!” “Let her have it,” thinks me, although I’m not stranger to being an adulterous slut myself. The other argument was nothing to remember, all I could tell that it was another lover’s spat as the girl “just wanted to be left aloooooooone”.
The brawl was weird; it looked like the Greasers Vs. the Socs, although in my case I think it was out of town boys Vs. Omaha thugs in the parking lot of Cubby’s gas station. This is really a super smart place to start fighting a half hour after the bars have let out and the cop shop is exactly one block down the street. Retards. It was a few blocks later that the car crash happened. I didn’t see it directly, but it happened right around the corner from where I was at and the sound alone scared the living shit out of me. There were a ton of people around that went running up towards the accident, so I didn’t go near it. I can’t handle that shit unless I absolutely have to. There was a car horn blaring and eerily enough, I could hear it until I walked far enough away that it was impossible to hear anymore. Reminded me of a scary movie where the killer crashes a car and smacks into the horn and everyone thinks they’re safe until the horn stops blaring (ala Halloween 5).
Anyhow, I got home without further incident, feeling lucky that for once I wasn’t part of any of the drama. I’m happy that this is the last weekend for the CWS so things can get back to normal around here. I will miss all the cute jock sightings and hearing my friends squeal over all the random hotties. Although next weekend is Pride for us, so it will be another busy weekend, yet one that belongs to “my kind”.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Not Leavin' till we're Heavin'
Starting July 15, Omaha bars will now be open an extra hour, closing at 2 a.m. rather than 1 a.m. All 7 city council members voted for this and the Mayor is applauding them for doing so. Which makes me assume that they figure they can catch more drunk drivers after 2 a.m. driving around the city than they can catch the drunk drivers that rush across the bridge at 1 a.m. to catch that last hour of power in Iowa.
I’m not complaining about this, I’m also 100% for it. Every single Metropolitan City is open until at least 2 a.m. Makes us look a little less Mayberry. And I’m REALLY digging it for the fact that I just got back in the industry. 2 extra hours a week = 8 extra hours at the end of the month, like tagging on 2 more shifts a month, my income from this job just got bumped up by 25%. Not too shabby for having been back for a week. I guess that is if they keep starting me at 9. Anyhow, I’m happy about this.
I bet the bar owners in IA are pissed, as I wonder how bars like Broadway Joe’s will fair once all the faggots stay where they are in Omaha. I know that I’ll probably never step foot in there again, as I won’t need to on the nights that I have off. But I guess that’s the only shitty part about it for me though. Now my only nights off are followed by workdays at my corporate job, starting the day at 6am. Going to have to resist the urges to close the bar, I just can’t function on 3 hours of drunken sleep anymore.
But on a different note, I was contacted by a trainer at my gym this week offering to work with me for a free session. I’m going to meet him at 9 a.m. on Sunday and see how it goes. I’d actually had the thought running through my mind about hiring a trainer to keep in check with maybe twice a month, so I guess throwing a freebie my way right about now is a good idea on their part. Who knows, with this bit of extra income, maybe I could afford to see him once a week for a few months. That’d be great.
Question for the masses: Do you tip a personal trainer? I obviously will for the free session, but after that, do you offer gratitude? And if so, how much?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Namaste Mother F’ers
One of the better things that I’ve done with my life in the last few months is take up yoga. I’d done yoga before, not really on a regular basis, but have always really liked it. I usually go every Monday and Wednesday after work for “power yoga” at my gym. The teacher is really good, actually she’s fucking insaine, but effective. She makes us hold our poses for a ridiculous amount of time. I’m always literally drenched with sweat by the time the hour long class is over.
One of the perks of these classes, besides greater flexibility, better balance, centering one’s self, and the obvious workout benefits is that there’s a guy who goes to every class that I ever go to that I think is hot as hell. Just my type, at least mid 30’s, muscley, shaved head (no guard), friendly, masculine but not intimidating. I know he’s gay, I’ve seen him out and about and he has certain characteristics. Like getting boners in the locker room while we shower off when class is over. Yes, this is one of my favorite parts about yoga class, the locker room dick show with Mr. Hottie.
One of my greatest mortal fears as an adolecent was public nudity with other males, as I was petrified of getting a stiffy for everyone to see. While I still have this fear somewhat, I’m usually in a lot greater control over my “zone” now than what I was at 13. But somehow this guy makes me lose it, and thank God he gets them too. While we talk a bit, it’s usually locker talk, and the subject of arousal has never been brought up. I mean really, what would you say? “Dude you know, sometimes it just gets hard, you know man?” like some terrible porno. And luckily we’re able to position ourselves so that we both have an available corner to “point North” to in case anyone else comes in, which really never happens though.
I would really like to take things further, outside of the locker room of coarse, but have my reservations. Should things go further or would everything get screwed up if there was a further experience? Is it better to lust after this guy for 5 minutes every couple of days when he’s all wet and soapy or try to have my jock and eat it too? I don’t know. I’d really like to talk to him some more at the very least, to show him that I have an interest. But then again, is it one of those situation when you open your mouth and you lose your boner? I don’t know, so I guess I’ll hold off until either I can’t take it anymore or he approaches me. All I know is I’ll enjoy what’s going on at this point in time and who knows, if things don’t work out maybee all of this yoga will result in the ability to perform autofalatio.
Friday, June 18, 2010
First Night on the job (again)
We’ll I go back to work at good ole’ Flixx Video Lounge tonight. I stopped in last night to meet up with Jerret and do the regular paperwork thing and to get a crash course on the video equipment that I’ll be working with. I’m relieved to know that we’re no longer using 2 DVD players hooked up to a soundboard and manually finding the DVD that you want, loading up the disc, queing your track making sure that the volume was just right through a headset because each disc seemed to fluxuate. All of this within the coarse of a 3-4 minute song (which is why I usually opted for abnormally long remixes or played songs that were back to back on the same dvd making the pause between songs rather than fading them together).
No, kiddles, we joined the new millenium and are now all digitally stored and functionable through a new thing that we call, a computer. Can you say that after me? COM-PU-TER. In fact, they have humongous playlists already set up for what they usually play on Friday and Saturday nights, comedy clips, movie clips, concert tracks, etc. etc. “Then why do they need a VJ?” asks you. Well, my Darling, I’m better than any ‘shuffle’ program. Just because it’s listed on the ‘Friday Night’ playlist doesn’t mean it will be played, and I highly doubt that hidden jams such as Bananarama or the like will be found on thus playlist. The format has changed very much to my liking, no more Latin, no more rap.
Besides, you can’t ask a playlist to “Play Lady Gaga next!!!” and it seems like a lot of songs that they have saved aren’t available because they’re not properly titled and they need someone to go through and identify the videos at some point. This is something I’m salivating over, it’s like the name that song game magnified by 50. Plus I’ll be able to download stuff and give my musical suggestions at some point, which is right up my alley. And my drinks from now on are $2.00 a pop and I can partake in moderation while playing said music. How do you beat that, really?
Anyhow, I’m really excited to be back and can’t wait to feel like I’m a part of things again. Everyone I talked to last night made me feel super welcome and acted like they looked forward to seeing what I could do, rather than act non-responsive or indifferent. Either way, my nerves are starting to act up a bit in anticipation, but I’m more excited than anything. Literally made 2 sheets of songs that I can search for if for some reason I freeze and can’t think of anything good, but honestly just phsyching myself out over it. It’s easy, it’s not going to make or break anyone or anything, but I sure hope it turns out the way everyone expects! Have a super fun weekend guys!!!
No, kiddles, we joined the new millenium and are now all digitally stored and functionable through a new thing that we call, a computer. Can you say that after me? COM-PU-TER. In fact, they have humongous playlists already set up for what they usually play on Friday and Saturday nights, comedy clips, movie clips, concert tracks, etc. etc. “Then why do they need a VJ?” asks you. Well, my Darling, I’m better than any ‘shuffle’ program. Just because it’s listed on the ‘Friday Night’ playlist doesn’t mean it will be played, and I highly doubt that hidden jams such as Bananarama or the like will be found on thus playlist. The format has changed very much to my liking, no more Latin, no more rap.
Besides, you can’t ask a playlist to “Play Lady Gaga next!!!” and it seems like a lot of songs that they have saved aren’t available because they’re not properly titled and they need someone to go through and identify the videos at some point. This is something I’m salivating over, it’s like the name that song game magnified by 50. Plus I’ll be able to download stuff and give my musical suggestions at some point, which is right up my alley. And my drinks from now on are $2.00 a pop and I can partake in moderation while playing said music. How do you beat that, really?
Anyhow, I’m really excited to be back and can’t wait to feel like I’m a part of things again. Everyone I talked to last night made me feel super welcome and acted like they looked forward to seeing what I could do, rather than act non-responsive or indifferent. Either way, my nerves are starting to act up a bit in anticipation, but I’m more excited than anything. Literally made 2 sheets of songs that I can search for if for some reason I freeze and can’t think of anything good, but honestly just phsyching myself out over it. It’s easy, it’s not going to make or break anyone or anything, but I sure hope it turns out the way everyone expects! Have a super fun weekend guys!!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Twice Employed
Good news today. Received the word that I’m hired on again at Flixx. Almost didn’t get the word at this, on the last day of Project $20 (which turned out to be Project $25 as I had to ask a friend if I could borrow a few bucks for bus fare for the remaining week). I thought I would squeek by on the sly with my phone bill, as it was due yesterday and was still on as of this morning. Nope, right before Noon the facker shut off. The first thing that I thought of was, “What if the bar tries to call me?” as I listed tomorrow as the day I could start working, and like all things gay (such as paying due bills) we wait until the last minute to make note.
Lo and behold, I receive an Instant Message from Alisson, my friend/former co-worker/current bartender that Jarret the manager had been trying to get a hold of me and was getting a disconnect notification. How embarassing is that? At least it’s apparent to anyone with a brain that I can use this second job. Glad that I use Yahoo Instant Messanger as a work tool every day at my corporate job and most people know I always have it logged in on my work pc or my phone, when it’s working. (Note: add me if you want, whenigrowup81) Long story short, she gives me his number and I call him to find out if I got it or not.
I had initially gone in and applied as a server, as that’s what I was told they had open. While I’ll still be a server, I’ll also get to VJ. When I worked there before, I LOVED to VJ. Only there were 2 problems back then, the equipment was horrible and the night of the week that I worked was “Papi Chulo Night” playing mostly Latin Videos. Take it, I love me some Thalia, Fey, and Shakira, but I really hankered for some “real” music. Now I’m told that the equipment is new and simple, and I think that they got rid of Papi Chuloing now that the old owner who had a constant boner for Latin boys is no more. Going in tonight to learn how to run the system, hopefully they’ll let me stay all night so I can play around.
Will update tomorrow.
www.flixxomaha.com
Lo and behold, I receive an Instant Message from Alisson, my friend/former co-worker/current bartender that Jarret the manager had been trying to get a hold of me and was getting a disconnect notification. How embarassing is that? At least it’s apparent to anyone with a brain that I can use this second job. Glad that I use Yahoo Instant Messanger as a work tool every day at my corporate job and most people know I always have it logged in on my work pc or my phone, when it’s working. (Note: add me if you want, whenigrowup81) Long story short, she gives me his number and I call him to find out if I got it or not.
I had initially gone in and applied as a server, as that’s what I was told they had open. While I’ll still be a server, I’ll also get to VJ. When I worked there before, I LOVED to VJ. Only there were 2 problems back then, the equipment was horrible and the night of the week that I worked was “Papi Chulo Night” playing mostly Latin Videos. Take it, I love me some Thalia, Fey, and Shakira, but I really hankered for some “real” music. Now I’m told that the equipment is new and simple, and I think that they got rid of Papi Chuloing now that the old owner who had a constant boner for Latin boys is no more. Going in tonight to learn how to run the system, hopefully they’ll let me stay all night so I can play around.
Will update tomorrow.
www.flixxomaha.com
Friday, June 11, 2010
Completely Obsessed
The Real Housewives of New York City. Jill. Bethany. Ramona. Alex. Kelly. LuAnn. And sometimes Sonja.
What do I say? Other than, I apologize for not paying attention to you before this season.
Jill, you are my favorite. You are the one of the biggest bitches on the planet, and I admire that. As you put it, you’re “A New York Bitch”. I want to call myself an Omaha Bitch, but for some reason it doesn’t carry the same ‘zing’. I think you’re also the prettiest of the group, and I also think that is why all of the other girls pick on you and make you cry those tough as nails tears. Jill Zarin! I’d buy fabric from you and Bobby anyday! If I could afford it and had any use for fabric.
Favorite Quote of the season: “You told me ta getta hobbieeee, whell I ghotta hobbiieeee. It’s my hausbahhhnd, Baaaaaaa-Biieeee!”
Beth, you’re also a mega-bitch, but in a totally different way. You’re sneaky. To tell you the truth, I like it when you cry. And now that you have your own spin off show where they show your pregnant ass being all pregnant, I look forward to seeing you cry even more. Those tears might soften that cement face of yours. And how did you get a spin off? Sure that baby is Jason’s. OOOOOOO, that’s right, I went there!
Favorite Quote of the season: (referring to a fight with Kelly) “I’m done trying to explain things to Miss……..Cook-a-doodle-doo!”
Ramona, your eyeballs freak me out more than anything. And that’s saying a lot cause your personality is so damn weird. You’ve got the brain of a 13 year old girl on a cocaine binge. Your best saving grace, you’re pushing 60 and you look fantastic. And the fact that you’ve basically got a Pinot Grigio IV drip.
Favorite Quote of the season: (to Bethany) “You’ve screwed things up with Jill, you’ve screwed things up with everyone else. All you have is Jason, and I bet you’ll screw that up too.” (editor’s note: Uh-Uh she didn’t!!!!)
Alex, YOUR HUSBAND IS THE GAYEST WAD IN NYC. And you need to quit acting like a damn baby. The end.
Favorite Quote of the season: “I have a message for you Jill…….(interrupted cause no one cares) Jill, the message is……(inturrupted again cause, still, no one cares) Jill, the message that I need to give you is from Bethany (inturrupted about 7 more times, breaks out in hives, and after about 15 minutes gets to squeeze in) Bethany doesn’t want to have anything to do with you and never wants to see you again!”
Kelly, you dumb shit. You big dumb shit. You haven’t ever made sense to me, not once. You don’t really drink, you don’t really do a ton of back stabbing, yet you are the craziest one on this show. I hate you, Kelly.
Favorite Quote of the season: “Okay well, I guess I’m going to go back to my own little world of jelly beans and cartwheels where people are nice to each other” of which Ramona retorts “Okay honey we’ll see you in a little bit.”
LuAnn, you’re right, Money can’t buy you class. But it can pay for a producer to help you pen and record an awful song sans Autotune. It can also help you pay for sex reassignment surgery, and you’ve either had it, or you need it. One of the two. I kind of like you, wiener woman.
Best Quote of the season: Her opening line on every show, “I’ve never felt bad for being Privileged.” That’s why you’re privileged you fuckin’ dummy!
Sonja, nice DUI last week. You’re not that important yet until you go fulltime next season, so that’s all you get on my damn blog.
In closing, Jill Zerin, I love you Jill Zerin. Come back next season. I’ve only just found you, please don’t go away. Bethany won’t be back so there’s no reason to be upset. Until then, I’ll read your blog every day. And you need to take me out to lunch and shopping sometime. Bye hon!
What do I say? Other than, I apologize for not paying attention to you before this season.
Jill, you are my favorite. You are the one of the biggest bitches on the planet, and I admire that. As you put it, you’re “A New York Bitch”. I want to call myself an Omaha Bitch, but for some reason it doesn’t carry the same ‘zing’. I think you’re also the prettiest of the group, and I also think that is why all of the other girls pick on you and make you cry those tough as nails tears. Jill Zarin! I’d buy fabric from you and Bobby anyday! If I could afford it and had any use for fabric.
Favorite Quote of the season: “You told me ta getta hobbieeee, whell I ghotta hobbiieeee. It’s my hausbahhhnd, Baaaaaaa-Biieeee!”
Beth, you’re also a mega-bitch, but in a totally different way. You’re sneaky. To tell you the truth, I like it when you cry. And now that you have your own spin off show where they show your pregnant ass being all pregnant, I look forward to seeing you cry even more. Those tears might soften that cement face of yours. And how did you get a spin off? Sure that baby is Jason’s. OOOOOOO, that’s right, I went there!
Favorite Quote of the season: (referring to a fight with Kelly) “I’m done trying to explain things to Miss……..Cook-a-doodle-doo!”
Ramona, your eyeballs freak me out more than anything. And that’s saying a lot cause your personality is so damn weird. You’ve got the brain of a 13 year old girl on a cocaine binge. Your best saving grace, you’re pushing 60 and you look fantastic. And the fact that you’ve basically got a Pinot Grigio IV drip.
Favorite Quote of the season: (to Bethany) “You’ve screwed things up with Jill, you’ve screwed things up with everyone else. All you have is Jason, and I bet you’ll screw that up too.” (editor’s note: Uh-Uh she didn’t!!!!)
Alex, YOUR HUSBAND IS THE GAYEST WAD IN NYC. And you need to quit acting like a damn baby. The end.
Favorite Quote of the season: “I have a message for you Jill…….(interrupted cause no one cares) Jill, the message is……(inturrupted again cause, still, no one cares) Jill, the message that I need to give you is from Bethany (inturrupted about 7 more times, breaks out in hives, and after about 15 minutes gets to squeeze in) Bethany doesn’t want to have anything to do with you and never wants to see you again!”
Kelly, you dumb shit. You big dumb shit. You haven’t ever made sense to me, not once. You don’t really drink, you don’t really do a ton of back stabbing, yet you are the craziest one on this show. I hate you, Kelly.
Favorite Quote of the season: “Okay well, I guess I’m going to go back to my own little world of jelly beans and cartwheels where people are nice to each other” of which Ramona retorts “Okay honey we’ll see you in a little bit.”
LuAnn, you’re right, Money can’t buy you class. But it can pay for a producer to help you pen and record an awful song sans Autotune. It can also help you pay for sex reassignment surgery, and you’ve either had it, or you need it. One of the two. I kind of like you, wiener woman.
Best Quote of the season: Her opening line on every show, “I’ve never felt bad for being Privileged.” That’s why you’re privileged you fuckin’ dummy!
Sonja, nice DUI last week. You’re not that important yet until you go fulltime next season, so that’s all you get on my damn blog.
In closing, Jill Zerin, I love you Jill Zerin. Come back next season. I’ve only just found you, please don’t go away. Bethany won’t be back so there’s no reason to be upset. Until then, I’ll read your blog every day. And you need to take me out to lunch and shopping sometime. Bye hon!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Project $20
Stepping into an interesting challenge here for the next week that I’ll be christening as, “Project $20”. Yeah, you guessed it; I have $20 bucks in my wallet to last me for the next 7 days (counting today). I’ve survived on the whole “5 days on $20” before and ended up just fine, but we’re going for a new record this week I guess. Obviously staying home from KC last weekend still didn’t save me any greenbacks, after spending too much on shit that was a lot of fun, but I didn’t need. But, what will be will be. I’m all about seeing how far I can persevere as of late, whether it be at the gym, my appetite, smoking, living alone without freaking out, etc. etc. etc.
The pros are: I have enough food (even if it’s stuff I won’t want, it’ll be a way to get rid of it), all of my laundry is clean, my rent and cable are both in the clear so I don’t have to worry about no entertainment or no place to be entertained at, I have a date on Saturday who’s also pretty much low on the dough so at least I’ll have someone to be cheap with, I’ll be forced to be sober and smoke free for a week.
The cons are: I’ll be forced to be sober and smoke free for a week, my weekly transportation costs run about $8 bucks so really this could be called “Project $12”, my gym membership is due 3 days before I get paid, as well as my phone payment and I always feel like a moron when I go pay for things after the payment has initially been denied, and I know somewhere someone along the line is going to ask me to do something fun that I’ll have to turn down with some lame excuse.
But on the definite upside, I might be seeing a second job coming my way in the near future cocktailing and bar backing at my old bar. Besides inspiring me even further to get into “take off your shirt” mode, I’ll be working on Friday and Saturday nights-aka the nights I would be out spending money. Although it’s not a given, I still have people I’m friends with giving me a good reference and the bar manager is still in charge from when I was there and I left him in good terms. So, kind of excited and hopeful. I’m going in tonight to see what I can muster up.
So anyhoo kiddles, wish me luck with that and if any of you want to do something this weekend…….DON’T CALL ME!
The pros are: I have enough food (even if it’s stuff I won’t want, it’ll be a way to get rid of it), all of my laundry is clean, my rent and cable are both in the clear so I don’t have to worry about no entertainment or no place to be entertained at, I have a date on Saturday who’s also pretty much low on the dough so at least I’ll have someone to be cheap with, I’ll be forced to be sober and smoke free for a week.
The cons are: I’ll be forced to be sober and smoke free for a week, my weekly transportation costs run about $8 bucks so really this could be called “Project $12”, my gym membership is due 3 days before I get paid, as well as my phone payment and I always feel like a moron when I go pay for things after the payment has initially been denied, and I know somewhere someone along the line is going to ask me to do something fun that I’ll have to turn down with some lame excuse.
But on the definite upside, I might be seeing a second job coming my way in the near future cocktailing and bar backing at my old bar. Besides inspiring me even further to get into “take off your shirt” mode, I’ll be working on Friday and Saturday nights-aka the nights I would be out spending money. Although it’s not a given, I still have people I’m friends with giving me a good reference and the bar manager is still in charge from when I was there and I left him in good terms. So, kind of excited and hopeful. I’m going in tonight to see what I can muster up.
So anyhoo kiddles, wish me luck with that and if any of you want to do something this weekend…….DON’T CALL ME!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I love/hate Facebook
I’m having quite the love/hate relationship with my Facebook account as of late. Especially after this weekend. I love it for the fact that I’ve been able to re-connect with old friends, just like I did this weekend. But I also hate looking back at drunk posts that have been up for hours that everyone’s pretty much already seen, making it too late to delete, just like this weekend.
It’s not that I don’t realize that everyone that I friend can see my posts, for the most part I’m good with that. Yeah, maybe Aunt Tootie doesn’t want to hear me say the word “boner” and Cousin Kelly doesn’t want to hear about bodily functions that I think are funny. But for the most part, I think everyone knows the type of person that I am, and know that I’ve got some quirks and a really friggin’ weird sense of humor at times.
At one point this weekend one of my posts got a comment on how “vulgar” it was and “what has happened to me”. It must have been cause I used the word “cunt” in it, which I don’t particularly like either, but seriously give me a friggin’ break. If this shocks you that you would hear this come from me, then we obviously don’t know each other that well. And if you’re that prone to being offended by what I post, you have the power to change that. I talk like a 28 year old, albeit sometimes an immature one, but it’s my prerogative and I’m not going to apologize for it.
What does get embarrassing to me though are the public outbursts that I sometime think are appropriate to melt down over in front of everybody. But I think it should be realized that I’m still getting used to living on my own, and I’m not always used to not having constant interaction with another person. So I think sometimes I tend to go into tailspin mode either through Facebook Posts or massive texts when issues arise. Usually more often then not when I’ve had a few cocktails and not only do I sound completely neurotic or like I’m in pure crisis mode, totally freaking out. I have to admit, it’s really ridiculous to see. Sometimes it’s funny a couple of weeks later, but more often than not it just sounds like annoying faggot who’s begging for attention. And it probably is, ha ha.
Either way, I like my Social Networking Friends good enough, but it’s the flesh and blood friends that I really listen to in everyday life (and a handful of my blogger friends). SO, that being said, I don’t see my neurotic ass calming the hell down anytime soon, so feel free to delete me if you’ve had enough. No hard feelings. Later kids.
It’s not that I don’t realize that everyone that I friend can see my posts, for the most part I’m good with that. Yeah, maybe Aunt Tootie doesn’t want to hear me say the word “boner” and Cousin Kelly doesn’t want to hear about bodily functions that I think are funny. But for the most part, I think everyone knows the type of person that I am, and know that I’ve got some quirks and a really friggin’ weird sense of humor at times.
At one point this weekend one of my posts got a comment on how “vulgar” it was and “what has happened to me”. It must have been cause I used the word “cunt” in it, which I don’t particularly like either, but seriously give me a friggin’ break. If this shocks you that you would hear this come from me, then we obviously don’t know each other that well. And if you’re that prone to being offended by what I post, you have the power to change that. I talk like a 28 year old, albeit sometimes an immature one, but it’s my prerogative and I’m not going to apologize for it.
What does get embarrassing to me though are the public outbursts that I sometime think are appropriate to melt down over in front of everybody. But I think it should be realized that I’m still getting used to living on my own, and I’m not always used to not having constant interaction with another person. So I think sometimes I tend to go into tailspin mode either through Facebook Posts or massive texts when issues arise. Usually more often then not when I’ve had a few cocktails and not only do I sound completely neurotic or like I’m in pure crisis mode, totally freaking out. I have to admit, it’s really ridiculous to see. Sometimes it’s funny a couple of weeks later, but more often than not it just sounds like annoying faggot who’s begging for attention. And it probably is, ha ha.
Either way, I like my Social Networking Friends good enough, but it’s the flesh and blood friends that I really listen to in everyday life (and a handful of my blogger friends). SO, that being said, I don’t see my neurotic ass calming the hell down anytime soon, so feel free to delete me if you’ve had enough. No hard feelings. Later kids.
Friday, June 4, 2010
5 years
Had a friend send this to me a few weeks ago. She stole a pair of our friends' sunglasses and we all took turns passing them around all night taking pictures with them. It was taken at the bar I used to work at that frequently asked us to take our shirts off, and a time when I was able to. It's been good for the incentive part of my brain to start whiping itself into a frenzy for what I'm trying to do at the gym, but it also gives me a case of the "Gawd I'll never be able to look like that again" blues.
Take it this picture was 5 or 6 years ago, and I may or may not had an infatuation with certain things that keep you skinny, but dammit it's not even that clear or great of a picture but I'm already jealous of Jon at 22. There was a way better picture that I could have posted but that one made me feel way worse. Ha ha.
But it's all good. I have an idea of the body I'd like to have and it's not that of a cracked out twink.
I said I was going to write about the Memorial Day Picnic, but I'm feeling uninspired. It was Gay. It was a picnic. It was on Memorial Day. Looking forward to a good weekend ahead. Be good everyone and have lots of fun.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The 100th Post
Wow, the one hundreth post, and it only took me 2 years to get here. Ha ha.
Well, Summertime 2010 is off to a really good start with the kick off of the Memorial Day Weekend last week. Why is it that the 4 day work weeks feel like they kick your ass a lot worse than the regular 5 day weeks? Oh yeah, prolly cause you've had 3 days of partying.
My weekend wasn't a complete tailspin and I kept myself from having "too much fun" until Monday. But I'm skipping ahead of myself. Stayed in on Friday night, as I knew it was going to be a long weekend. Truth be told, I fell asleep on the couch at 9pm. That's the beauty of the workout schedule I've been keeping. If I don't get to take a nap, I'm ready for bed by 10. And it's good deep regular R.E.M'd sleep.
Saturday night, however, I did step out. But not in the way I had intended. I was going to go to a Midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but that fell through. So at aboout 11:30 I headed off downtown not knowing for sure where I wanted to go. The Max had a line halfway down the block, there was no one in DC's, and I didn't feel like walking all the way down to Flixx just to be there for two cocktails before closing time. I halfway thought about getting a 6 pack and going back home, but thought the better of it and decided to go have a sit at DC's even though it was dead.
I slurrped down a few beers, paying more attention to my phone than to anyone else, when I realized that they had the basement open that night. I'd never been down there before, but from what I knew, you had to be in leather gear of some sorts to go down. They must have been lax on the rules, considering the turnout, regular clothed guys were going down. I was in an inner turmoil as to whether I wanted to go down there or not. I felt a little nervous about being alone and not knowing what to expect. Take it, I'm really far from prudish, but you can't really pic and choose what you want to be a witness to in some of those settings and there's no going back once you've seen them, lol. But I decided that it would be a little adventure, it's not like I was going to get raped and could leave whenever I wanted.
I walked down the stairs, glad I had a few beers in me for stabilization, paid the cover and walked in and took a look around. It was kind of dark, but I didn't see any medevil torture devices or hear screams of pain or anything like that, so I was ok. Right off the bat, before I ordered anything the bartender handed me a plastic cup. I looked at it like I didn't know how to use it until the bartender saw my confusion and carefully helped me evaluate that it was "a shot". Hoping that it wasn't roofied, I took my happy little shot, thankful that I didn't go straight into convulsions (cause I hear that's when they like to git' ya). Ordered another beer, took a minute to appreciate the lovely dvd they were screening, and then decided to walk around.
There were black plastic sheets hung from the ceiling in a back area that reminded me of a really cheap haunted house. So the curiousity got the best of me and I went to go peek my head in. Then a voice from behind me said, "If you go in there by yourself you're bound to get swarmed." I turned around and ended up being a guy that I had seen upstairs a bit back. We chatted a bit, introduced ourselves, did my whole "I've never been down here before, is it as crazy as they say!?" type of thing. So we ended up walking through the "haunted house" and it really turned out to be nothing other than what you could have seen 8 years ago on Queer As Folk. It was actually a little more modest than I thought it would be, but at the same time it didn't seem like anyone was too shy about anything. Ended up walking out of the maze and ending the rest of the night perched at the bar (imagine that). But, at least I don't have to really wonder anymore. Except for what busy nights are actually like down there, heh heh heh.
More on Monday's activities tomorrow.....I didn't realize this post was going to get so long!
Well, Summertime 2010 is off to a really good start with the kick off of the Memorial Day Weekend last week. Why is it that the 4 day work weeks feel like they kick your ass a lot worse than the regular 5 day weeks? Oh yeah, prolly cause you've had 3 days of partying.
My weekend wasn't a complete tailspin and I kept myself from having "too much fun" until Monday. But I'm skipping ahead of myself. Stayed in on Friday night, as I knew it was going to be a long weekend. Truth be told, I fell asleep on the couch at 9pm. That's the beauty of the workout schedule I've been keeping. If I don't get to take a nap, I'm ready for bed by 10. And it's good deep regular R.E.M'd sleep.
Saturday night, however, I did step out. But not in the way I had intended. I was going to go to a Midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but that fell through. So at aboout 11:30 I headed off downtown not knowing for sure where I wanted to go. The Max had a line halfway down the block, there was no one in DC's, and I didn't feel like walking all the way down to Flixx just to be there for two cocktails before closing time. I halfway thought about getting a 6 pack and going back home, but thought the better of it and decided to go have a sit at DC's even though it was dead.
I slurrped down a few beers, paying more attention to my phone than to anyone else, when I realized that they had the basement open that night. I'd never been down there before, but from what I knew, you had to be in leather gear of some sorts to go down. They must have been lax on the rules, considering the turnout, regular clothed guys were going down. I was in an inner turmoil as to whether I wanted to go down there or not. I felt a little nervous about being alone and not knowing what to expect. Take it, I'm really far from prudish, but you can't really pic and choose what you want to be a witness to in some of those settings and there's no going back once you've seen them, lol. But I decided that it would be a little adventure, it's not like I was going to get raped and could leave whenever I wanted.
I walked down the stairs, glad I had a few beers in me for stabilization, paid the cover and walked in and took a look around. It was kind of dark, but I didn't see any medevil torture devices or hear screams of pain or anything like that, so I was ok. Right off the bat, before I ordered anything the bartender handed me a plastic cup. I looked at it like I didn't know how to use it until the bartender saw my confusion and carefully helped me evaluate that it was "a shot". Hoping that it wasn't roofied, I took my happy little shot, thankful that I didn't go straight into convulsions (cause I hear that's when they like to git' ya). Ordered another beer, took a minute to appreciate the lovely dvd they were screening, and then decided to walk around.
There were black plastic sheets hung from the ceiling in a back area that reminded me of a really cheap haunted house. So the curiousity got the best of me and I went to go peek my head in. Then a voice from behind me said, "If you go in there by yourself you're bound to get swarmed." I turned around and ended up being a guy that I had seen upstairs a bit back. We chatted a bit, introduced ourselves, did my whole "I've never been down here before, is it as crazy as they say!?" type of thing. So we ended up walking through the "haunted house" and it really turned out to be nothing other than what you could have seen 8 years ago on Queer As Folk. It was actually a little more modest than I thought it would be, but at the same time it didn't seem like anyone was too shy about anything. Ended up walking out of the maze and ending the rest of the night perched at the bar (imagine that). But, at least I don't have to really wonder anymore. Except for what busy nights are actually like down there, heh heh heh.
More on Monday's activities tomorrow.....I didn't realize this post was going to get so long!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
