OPERATION BEARD: DAY 6

Ok, no more. JP I'm with you, operation mustache under way. At least that will help out my Halloween costume a little as Dr. Jeckyl.

And speaking of Halloween....lol, it's always nice to have your birthday on a really fun holiday, as not to get depressed at aging another digit. I was trying to remember how old I was going to be the other day, as us gays tend to not pay attention after 21, as nothing really important happens after that. Well, except for insurance going down at 25......party fucking time. Turns out, after counting on my fingers, it's year 27.

So anyhoo, gonna dress up, get my step-son all spooked out as Jason, sent them out and about and stick around the house to see if I get any trick or treaters. have a couple dyke friends coming to visit so I will be downtown after T or T'ing is over to get utterly shitfaced.

What's everyone else doing?

OPERATION BEARD: DAY 3

It will probably turn into Operation Dusche here in a few days.

Life on the shitter

What a crap week. I had a co-worker get her lazy ass fired on Monday, basically for not doing any of her work for a few weeks. Seems that pregnant women shouldn't be expected to do anything but eat and bitch and moan and show pictures of their sonograms. So said work got shoved over to me, and I'm still getting my regular workload, which has also grown since my department went from 5 people down to me and another girl......who is new and doesn't get the tough orders. So, this week, I haven't been able to get up and walk around and do stuff once every 30-45 minutes like usual. I feel like that bitch in Kansas who sat on the toilet for two years and her fat asscheeks grew around the lid. I really dont feel like sawing a glory hole on the bottom of my swivle chair either, although if I must I will. Anyhow, that being said, I can now totally relate to the people who cut the fetuses out of pregnant bitches and leave the mom to become a carcass. Not really, but we're going for drama here now aren't we?

Don't be snitching about your snatching!

Old people sayings are friggin' funny. Just a few minutes ago, a hundred year old lady five cubicles down said "I was scratching my craw trying to figure that out!" Of course, from 5 cubicles down, the word craw sounded like "crotch" so you can imagine. That is all.

I'm Luvin' It

So I have a McDonalds right down the street from my house. I thought it might be a problem having one so close to me when we first moved to our new house, but save for a few hungover sausage egg biscuit mornings, I think I've taken the kids there once for lunch. Not too bad in over 3 months.

Across the street from my house is also a park. So lot's of people eat their McDonalds on the picnic tables in the park......how nice. But I've noticed something quite strange recently. When I get home from work from my regular 9-5, I can usually see people parked across the street from my house, down the street from Mickey D's, far away from the picnic tables having Big Mac attacks in their cars. One said person usually shows up at the same time everyday, to park, scarf, and drive off.

Could it be, that people get off work, go eat a number 4, and then go home for supper? If this is the case all I can say is....my friend.....you are a fucking God to me.

I thought I was retarded

On the phone at work. On hold for the 5th time. Trying to get a password reset, that was reset yesterday for no good reason. Muzak is playing in my ear, it sounds like a Geisha girl and a Dutch girl should be dancing together to it. I hate the Dutch.....

Toilet Humor

Random, yes, but funny.

I was leaving the men's lavoratory this afternoon at work, and right as I swung open the door someone in one of the toilet stalls ripped a big huge fart. There was a lady walking by at that same moment and she turned and looked towards me with a look of horror. Like I had flung open the door, was wearing a hockey mask and revving a chainsaw.

And that Ladies and Fags, is why farts are hysterical.