Best Week Ever!

Sweet....so in the course of the last week 1.) My car broke down 2.)I got the humaine society called on me 3.) I found out I'm being sued.

1.) Car



If anyone has a Cavalier....the fuel pump goes out around 75,000 miles. Especially if you drive it almost all the way out of fuel. Lesson learned $600 bucks later. And on the very same week I had to make my house payment!



Leading me to give the bank of Mom and Dad a call to see if they could help bail me out. I love being an adult!

2.) The Humaine Society.



Aparently it's inhumaine to let your dog stay outside on nice days on his leash for 4 hours at a time, with ample food and water, shelter-that being the garage he can go into, and a big comfy dog bed. It's better to have him locked in the laundry room were he can't pee or poop, get fresh air, lay in the sun, and play in the grass. Lesson learned again. Now I know that Omaha's new leash law is that a dog can only be tied up for 15 minutes at a time. There you go Capone! Knowledge is power!

3.) Getting sued....

Not really going to go into this one but if there is one thing that I have remembered from a queen and took with me it's, "You are nobody until you've been sued." Well ya'll, I'm finally somebody.

Despite it all, there's no way in hell anyone or thing can take this smile off my face. My wallet might be empty, my kids' Christmas might be a little shitty, but fuck anyone if you think you can really take anything away from me.

Rant Over....

BTW, the other half's entire family is coming over tomorrow for early Thanksgiving. And when I say entire family I'm talking brothers, sisters, kids, spouses, step-kids, ex-spouses, aunts, uncles and cousins. Looking at 40+ people as of right now. BUT, I am ready...........



Expect a story next week.

Halloween (one fucking week later)

Thats for sticking your dick in the pumpkin!


So, my favorite day of the year, Halloween, was last Friday. Yeah, I realize I should have blogged about this a week ago, but honey......as much as it pains me to say it, I'm Halloweened out. I guess it doesn't help when you start decorating your house like a ridiculous faggot for halloween one week before October begins, but alas.

Decorations were rocking though, pumpkins carved, ghosts hanging, monsters strapped to the trees in the front yard, a Michael Myers dummy sitting on the bench on the front porch with a strobe light on him. We got a TON of trick or treaters that went through 7 lbs. of candy. This being the first year in the house where we're at now, we didn't know if we'd get many. But I guess our yard said everything but "Come get some fucking candy". I even brought the big house stereo speakers out to play booming horror movie soundtracks.We had parents taking pictures of the house and one of us would jump out and scare the older kids, regular Halloween shit. At the end of the night we had a couple kids come back just to see if they could hang out, and you should have seen all the kids riding their bikes past the house the next day. Was kinda funny.

My hubby went back and forth, as he does every year, saying he's not dressing up and getting mad about it, but we always find something for him at the last minute. Unfortunately this year, my costume was the same way, very last minute and very bad. I was trying for a Wolfman look, but just ended up looking like a retard. My best Dyke friends from my hometown came down to help celebrate, as Halloween is also my birthday. We made the mistake of going out the night before, so by the time trick or treating was done with, and I looked at my stupid costume, and started feeling like shit from drinking too much the night before, I said screw it, I'm staying home for the night. Thus straying from my yearly downtown Halloween shenanigans.

All in all, Halloween was awesome cause of the trick or treaters, but as a birthday it was pretty lame. I'm just glad I got to spend it with a couple of people who give a shit about me, so I guess that's all that rilly matters now, huh?

The Big Lezbowski



She's a dyke, so I don't know if that's a costume or her regular wardrobe?



LAME