KYLIE DAY!!!!!!!

I am so excited for tomorrow, as Kylie X is finally being released in America. Why I'm excited, I don't know, as I've downloaded the whole thing a while back and have listened to it every day since. Oh well, she's showing her love to the Yankees by giving us a US only bonus track...WEEEEEE! HAPPY KYLIE DAY YALLS!

Ahhhh..........Men

Easter Sunday has come and gone. Wasn't anything too special, as I had to work my second job at Blockbuster, and no.....the Ten Commandments staring Charlton Heston was not in stock, but yes......we did have the animated version featuring the voice of Christian Slater. Same strange Dogma, with less aftertaste.

So needless to say, didn't get to make the 2 hr trip up to my folks place to see the fam. Church, egg hunt, ham, chat, drive home to Omaha....didn't happen this year. Obviosly didn't miss the church part, although the last time I was there the pastor introduced himself to me, and I introduced myself..........and my partner Tom. Don't know if it was just me, but I could swear I was glared at from the pulpit durring the sermon. Anyhow, that being said, I look forward to revisiting church. It's not that I want to shove my sexualty down anyone's throat at church, but I can't lie in the house of God either. So a spade is a spade, or in this case, a fag is a fag.

The Roaming Gnome

This is seriously the coolest story I've heard in forever. People are reporting sightings of creepy Gnome who walks around the streets of a town in Argentina in the middle of the night. Here's a link to an actual cell phone video of this mystical creature! http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article902014.ece

HA HA HA! OK, if I was a little person I would be doing this EVERY SINGLE DAY. I would go so far as to say that I might even try to make a living out of it, chasing after people yelling "Where's my gold?!" Scaring groups of children at night, making adolescent boys scream like chicks and sending them to the hospital by scaring them so bad, like the little puss puss in this video. I think it's hysterical.

I'm not laughing at small people. Not that I think most would give a crap if I was, considering anybody can pretty much just laugh back at me all the same. Considering the public's fascination with the smaller folk lately with all the reality shows, Mini Me's, Leprechaun sequels, let alone midget porn, I'd say they have finally been able to find a respectable niche.

Back in the day (don't ask me for a specific day cause I can't remember having read this info quite a while ago, people of wealth and stature used to collect small people to be a part of their entourage as a status symbol. It even got to the point to where when supply could not be met, people found ways of making their own by submerging small children in barrels of gin and depriving them of food.

I don't know where I'm going with this, other than probably further down the P.C. spiral. But please, dont get SHORT, I'm only having a LITTLE fun.

Toot-Toot!

Heat's Hot Spot: The Sequel

We all know that sequels rarely, if ever, stand up against the original that came before. Well, at least in movies, let's see about blogs.

Returning to play the role that garnered him instant fame and fortune is my favorite artist of all time, Me. But what is this? A new setting? A new supporting cast? Oh God, please tell me that there will at least be a few cameos by some familiar fagotty faces that we so loved in part one!

Kids, the budget is small and some of the original actors have gone on to greener (or browner....ewww) pastures. Hey, considering our first venture last ended over two years ago, I think our valiant hero has fared quite well (even though he's like a million times fatter).

So anycow, the show of absolute ridiculousness and rowdy hi jinx continues.........

(this was all supposed to read like the beginning of star wars, so just try to imagine. If you don't want to, than you're gay.)