Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Anus, Slacks, and Casseroles

Sunday night I got to relive the past a little bit with a pretty good sized fraction of a group of friends that I used to hang out and party with just about every single weekend. We all used to frequent or work at “Club Joy” before it closed about 5 years ago. Since the club’s demise, a lot of people have moved, found other circles of friends, stopped going out, etc. For the most part, we’ve all kept up with each other, but for everyone to be in the same room will never be possible again. We made a pretty good attempt at it the other night though, for all of us that are still living here in the big O.

All in all there were about ten of us there, a mix of loyal patrons, drag queens, and staff who all met up at former owner, Eric’s apartment downtown. Cocktails, food, chit chatting, and old DVD’s of the N’JOY girls shows. It really was quite a good time, better than what I was expecting for not seeing a lot of these people in quite some time. Was worried that it might seem a little awkward. But, I had my girls JP and Schwa with me so I knew it would be worth going. I wasn’t wrong as while the three of us were walking from JP’s to Eric’s we had conversations about, but not limited to: Anus, Slacks, and Casseroles. You had to be there.

Watching some of the old drag performances really took me back. These girls were STARS to me at the time. Made me miss 2003 for a bit as it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone perform to ANY Cher remix or everyone’s favorite at the time “Girl From the Gutter”. Totally put me into a deep Thunderpuss K hole. Remembered being 22 again running my ass around the club, as a bar back. It was my favorite job ever, as I would have been there anyway, only I would have been spending money rather than making it. Meeting Porn stars, getting hit on by Chi Chi LaRue, running the spotlight at drag shows, helping Courtney bartend on the crazy ass busy nights, scooping people up off the floor, screaming at everyone to get the fuck out once it was closing time, finding tips on the dance floor that would fall from the performers hands cleavage or crotches, running around in my wet underwear at the foam parties. It was possibly the most fun of my life, as I think it was the very first time that I was totally free to my own devices and was very comfortably supporting myself.

Sounds like there will be a Joy BBQ in the works once the weather gets nicer. Looking forward to it, I’ve missed my old “family”.

Princess Schwa doing her Chi Chi Rodriguez pose

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


I had taken off my baseball cap the other day upon my return to my apartment from walking back from the grocery store. My way too long hair looked really really goofy. So, like a homo, I played around with it in front of the mirror.

Looks just like Mr. Hugh Jackson if I do say so myself.....You in the back.....quit your damn laughing!

Friday, January 15, 2010

On a whim...

Not much coherency with this one kids (like there ever is), just some random thoughts to wrap up the week.

Started riding the bus to work this week. The route from my apartment is perfect. It's cheap to ride. It's nice to relax and let someone else do the driving after a mind numbing day in the cube of hell. The only thing that sucks is waiting for buses in between transfers and, let's face it, bus people are kind of weird.

Going out tonight with an old friend I've seen probably twice in the 9 years since we graduated from high school. She's bringing her girlfriend and she wants to go gay bar hoping. Will hate to see the disappointment in her eyes when she realizes that Omaha barely caters to the Lezbroz. Hoping the bars will be a fluke so that we don't somehow end up at "Connections".

Heidi Montag is a total Twat who came in on the Twat Train from Twat Town. That being said I listened to a few of her songs and like some. Feeling a little bit terrible about that one (the song Overdose in particular).

One sentence movie reviews of my redbox rentals of the last few weeks:

Watchmen: I liked all the big blue wang that was in it.

Orphan: Gave me the creeps and was grateful there wasn't an adolescent in sight.

Julie & Julia: Surprised I didn't eat while watching it.

Bruno: Just plain bad.

The Hangover: Not nearly as funny as I was expecting, disappointed.

Observe and Report: Didn't even want to see it but it busted my shit up harder than anything in a long time.

Paranormal Activity: Gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when it was over.

Inglorious Basterdz: Not a favorite from a director that I worship.

Terminator Salvation: One to watch again when not inebriated.

That's it. Everybody stay safe and have a kick ass weekend.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The 3 Amigas

JP, Miss Sullivan, and Yours Truely

Ended up going out with a couple of my favorite besties on Sunday night for what turned out to be a damn fine evening.

Miss Sullivan and I used to live together for about a year and a half. Then she up and moved to Chicago on me about 3 1/2 years ago and we kind of lost touch. Good thing that she and JP kept in contact so that I was able to find out that she moved back all under the radar. The three of us used to hang out all the time, and with losing touch and moving and all of that other life shit, I didn't really think we'd be hanging out again anytime soon, if at all.

Lo and behold, I met up with these two at JP's around 9ish for a few pre-bar drinks and to do some catching up. The cogs started turning and before you knew it, it's like the last 3 1/2 never happened. We ended up going to the Max for a drag show, drank entirely too much, danced like retards, etc. etc.

I woke up yesterday morning sick (probably from standing outside smoking half the night) and called in a day of PTO. Made sure to send a round of texts to make sure everyone was still alive and kicking (oh yeah, my phone did show up). Then I had that familiar feeling that I haven't felt for quite a while. The feeling you get when you're really kind of depressed that such a good time was over, but happy at the same time looking forward to the next outing that matches. No matter what crappy things are going down with me, it's my friends like this who make me realize that everything's going to turn out fine.

Till next time kids.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Damn These People

So I ordered a phone on Monday expecting for it to be overnighted to me, as that's the shipping that I paid for. Didn't show up on Tuesday.

Looked at my confirmation on Wednesday, found in the fine print that they had 48 hours to process the order before shipping and then they'd send a shipping confirmation number. This is what I thought I'd received on Monday.

Waited 96 hours and called customer service. Actually got an English speaking person who told me that it would be shipped out today, but Fed Ex won't deliver it until Monday. Damn.....been looking forward to tinkering with it all weekend.

Then I look at my bank account, which grew in the amount of $120.00, the cost of my phone. Hmmmm.....why did this not go through? Thinks me. About an hour later, I received my shipping confirmation from Fed Ex. I'm sure that they'll take it out again at some point, but at least I'll have enough to go out this weekend as my form of entertainment that I had intended isn't showing up as planned. lol

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


OK, so I ran across some amazing news this morning....are you all ready?

Showgirls 2 is finally being made!

Don't believe me? www.showgirls2.com.

Really hoping this is not a scam, and it shouldn't be, with all the direct to video sequels that have come out as of late to movies that are over a decade old. Road house, Wild Things, Cruel Intentions, Single White Female, Species, etc. etc.

For those of you who know me personally, you know I have a pallet for really bad movies. Some of the campiest movies are sequels or rip offs from movies that have already been made. I think it might be an extension of my love for horror films, as we all know that the best and the worst of franchises have countless extensions. Example: Scream 4,5, and 6 in the pipeline, being written as well as comitted to by original cast members Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Neve Campbell.

I think now that all of these sequels are showing up as direct to video quite a bit, the studios are penning a lot of "remakes" to continue a franchise in order to secure a better chance at a theatrical release. My opiniion. While I like the idea of my favorite movie monsters, like Michael, Freddy, and Jason starting from scratch, I think it's a little overboard with the others. But even then, there's a lot of people who wold disagree with me there. People either tolerate remakes, or they friggin' loathe them.

I mourn for the sequesl that have forever been in talks but will either never be made or can't be made. Pink Flamingos 2, Goonies 2, Gremlins 3. Although, Ghostbusters 3 was at one time in this category and now it's in pre-production, so maybe there is some hope yet for some. I don't care if new instalments don't live up to the original, after all, we STILL have the original. I just like the idea of the story living on along with the characters. Call me retarded.

So what are your favorite sequals and/or what sequel would you love to see made? (JP you can't pick Grease 2 because we all already know, don't be a lazy ass)

My choice for best sequel is "Scream, Blacula, Scream" and I would love to see "Steel Magnolias 2: The Rise of Shelby"

Good day!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

This Snow Can Blow Me

So last I heard, we could be looking at another significant snowfall tomorrow.

This shit's gettin' ridiculous.

On New Years Eve I was walking Capone down the frozen sidewalk in front of my complex. There's a boarding house right next to the complex that we usually walk in front of on our pee and poop journeys, but alas, not that day. In the snow, on the side of the road was a man collapsed. There was a police officer standing over him yelling into a radio, while both an ambulance and a firetruck booked it up the opposite direction of the one way street I live on. One of my neighbors peeked his head out the door saying that he knew who the guy was that they were loading up into the ambulance. It's that cold here people, you can about freeze to death walking down the street.

The bizare thing about it.....we went on another walk last night, and the SAME thing happened in the exact SAME place. It freaked my freak kids, there's no way in HELL that I am walking over that part of the sidewalk!

Then this morning on the way to work, I let the Jeep warm up for a few minutes before leaving. In this weather, there really isn't a whole lot you can do to warm up your car. I made it onto the interstate as I saw the temperature gauge slowly moving up. I was chattering so bad that I let the heater rip as high as it would go. It was really rad to see the INSIDE of my winsheild ice up as soon as the warm air hit the freezing cold glass. I was saved by a Notorious B.I.G cd case that I had in the door compartment as I used it as a scraper. I'm sure it's as good of a use as anyone could have ever intended it for.

On my way to work, I encountered 2 school buses in separate areas broke down on the side of the road. More snow tomorrow, and another big drop in the temperature by the end of the week. I don't think I've seen it this shitty in my life.

Monday, January 4, 2010

2010 Shenanigans

Well kids, I gotta say, 2010 is off to a great start.

Went out for NYE, it was cold as all hell so I decided to drive down to the gay country bar instead of my usual walk. I was nervous about fighting for parking and the fact that the bar is less than a block from the Cop Shop. But to hell with it, it was NYE.

When I got there, it wasn't as busy as I had expected. I hadn't gone out until 11:00pm so it's not like it was too early or anything. I started sipping on a beer, checking out the crowd for any potential suitors for the evening. I hadn't been in there for 5 minutes before a tranny cornered me. She introduced herself as Fiona and said that she had been sent over by one of the bartenders who thought that I was cute and was asked if I wanted to be introduced. Although I thought it to be very Jr. High to have one of your friends go and talk to someone for you, and the fact that I think there is about one cute bartender I've ever seen working at this bar, I was intrigued so I agreed.

The guy was not a bartender, he was a cocktail waitress, and I could smell him before I was even within handshaking length of him. His appearance matched his body odor, completely neglected. I don't believe in being rude to someone unless they give you a reason, I introduced myself without making eye contact knowing full and well that this would be a short meeting. Dear Fiona tried her best to get some sort of a conversation started while the cogs were turning in my head as to what I was going to tell this guy in order to excuse myself. Luckily at that same moment, my friend Big Jeff peeked his head around the corner to say hi after seeing me from the bar. I used that cue to tell Uncle Fuckin' Rotten Tooth adios and went and pulled a seat next to Mr. Big Jeff.

We caught up over a couple of pitchers. Had some really awful champagne and shared a smooch at midnight, and closed up the bar for the night. While we chatted away, an acquaintance of mine that I've been familiar with for some time came over and invited me to he and his partners' house for after hours. He said he didn't know what to expect or who or how many people would be there. Usually this isn't the greatest sign, but again, I thought to hell with it since it was the new year and all. Plus, It's been a LONG time since I went to any one's after hours. So I drove Big Jeff to his car once the bar closed up, grabbed a 6 pack of beer, and headed to the after hours.

It ended up being a lot of fun. There were a few familiar faces that I recognized who I was able to chat it up with as well as get better acquainted with he hosts of the party who had invited me. I had also consumed enough liquid courage in order to engage with people I hadn't ever met, which I normally shy away from. Turned out to be a better NYE than expected, let's just say I rang in the New Year with a BANG. ;-)

In other good news, after being without a phone for 8 months (by my choice) I finally decided to sign up with a new plan. I'm having the phone over nighted to me and should be in business within the next day or two. If anyone wishes to have my new number, send me an email and I'll give it to you. Till next time kids.