Have a very very very merry Christmas, and a happy happy happy holiday!!

I BETTER GET THEM CHA-CHA HEELS!




Well, it's that dreaded and much loved time of year again. Hoping everyone does and gets just what they want this year.

Tonight is good ole' Christmas Eve. To me, Christmas Eve is the weirdest God damn day on the calendar. I think it's because it drives everyone up the fucking wall knowing that the "Day of all Days" is in a few short hours. And some people, no matter how many months in advance they have planned, the one thing that they forgot/didn't have time to do, just totally ruins everything for them. My mother and partner included.

Another reason why I think it's weird, is that for as much of a traditional Holiday it is, I have never had a similar Christmas Eve in my life. Just within the last few years I can think of where I have spent Christmas Eve working, Driving in the car to get to my parents, laying on the living room floor watching blacksploitation movies, in the hospital after getting beat up, drunk in the bar, etc. etc. This year it looks like I will be rather busy. Gonna take the kids to children's service at gay church at 6, go to brother in law's house for the other half's Christmas, go back to gay church at 8 to be in a Christmas play, and go back to brother in law's to get drunk and play pool. Tentatively.

Busy night, just to have it all over with in 10 minutes tomorrow when the kids ravage their gifts. Will it be worth it all? Probably not, but it will be fun in bits and pieces. Although I could go all Divine like in John Water's "Female Trouble" where she throws the Christmas Tree on her mother screaming "Fuck you! Fuck you! I Hate You! You're Horrible People!"

Merry Christmas, hookers....

P.S. Nice girls don't wear Cha-Cha Heels!

Halloween 2

Well, it's official. After a year of bitching and moaning about how hard and horrible it was to direct the re-make of Halloween and vowing not to come back to do a sequel, the Weinsteins have green-lit "Halloween Dos" helmed by non-other than, Rob the fraggin' Zombie.

H2, in my oppinion will probably be a lot better than the remake. Sounds like it's going to be a whole new story line, rather than a remake of Halloween 2. It will have characters from the original, Dr. Loomis and Laurie Strode, but will not take place at the hospital like the original sequel. It will, however, continue exactly where the re-make left off, which makes me very happy. What makes me a little nervouse is that they start filming in March and already plan on releasing the movie in October of 2009. As far as I knew, a script was yet to be written. Uh-Oh.

The image below is a teaser, not unlike many of the little teasers that Zombie always leaks in advance before any of his movies have been completed to give you a little taste of what's to come. Here's the first of, I'm sure, many teasers:

Party Time

K, so I'm either too stupid or too lazy to figure out how to add my totally awesomest music playlist onto my post here, so here's the link that you can copy and paste.....think you can handle it? Good deal, Sunshine!

http://view.playlist.com/11409470475

This is my saving grace at work, all of my deliciously faggy songs that pull me up by my bootstraps and help me through. Take a listen, would you? As I love to push my musical tastes off on everyone, can you tell I used to DJ? I realize that the list is quite long, so let me just point you towards a few gems that are particularly favorites of mine.

Spankox-To the club



I used to play this constantly about 4 years ago, my roomate wanted to effing kill me.


Rihanna-Take a Bow (unkown remix)



I have a hard time deciding if I like the original version or the remix more.

Leanne Rimes-Tick Tock (Thunderpuss remix)



This remix is so generically GAY, but I think that's why I love it.

Lost Witness-7 Colours



A song about rainbows, what the hell isn't to like?

Towa Tei feat Kylie Minogue- G.B.I (German Bold Itallic)



Probably the weirdest song she's ever been a part of, but very very cool. When I'm alone I try vogueing to it......terribly.


Take a quick listen, and heck, if you get time, send me your playlists. I love snooping around in other people's tastes.

Kill Kill Kill Die Die Die

Hells F-ing Yes. Michael and Leatherface have been reinvented, Jason is getting his turn, and next up we'll be getting a new Freddy. I'd rather have them start the franchise over than to continue with shitty sequels. My horror movie boner is engorged! YAY!

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810022022/trailer

Thanks-friggin-giving

So, I went home to my folks for Thanksgiving this weekend and got roped into going to church with them. Now, I go to church almost every Sunday, I honestly do, but my parents' church is so fucked up it's crazy.

I walked out of their church having learned that Jim Morrison and Janis JAPLIN (Yes, he said Japlan) are burning in hell and died so soon because of that pesky rock and roll music.

AND

Gays, Jews, Catholics, Muslums, Hindus, etc. etc. etc. are banding together to create a super religeon and we are going to throw Evangelicals into concentration camps..........

WHAT THE FUCK?

Here's the deal, it got me thinking, how awesome would a concentration camp be for people like this fucking whack job? First, I'd give him an abortion, then I'd dress him in drag, then I'd make him suck on a big fat cock..........who wants to help me make my realization possible

Best Week Ever!

Sweet....so in the course of the last week 1.) My car broke down 2.)I got the humaine society called on me 3.) I found out I'm being sued.

1.) Car



If anyone has a Cavalier....the fuel pump goes out around 75,000 miles. Especially if you drive it almost all the way out of fuel. Lesson learned $600 bucks later. And on the very same week I had to make my house payment!



Leading me to give the bank of Mom and Dad a call to see if they could help bail me out. I love being an adult!

2.) The Humaine Society.



Aparently it's inhumaine to let your dog stay outside on nice days on his leash for 4 hours at a time, with ample food and water, shelter-that being the garage he can go into, and a big comfy dog bed. It's better to have him locked in the laundry room were he can't pee or poop, get fresh air, lay in the sun, and play in the grass. Lesson learned again. Now I know that Omaha's new leash law is that a dog can only be tied up for 15 minutes at a time. There you go Capone! Knowledge is power!

3.) Getting sued....

Not really going to go into this one but if there is one thing that I have remembered from a queen and took with me it's, "You are nobody until you've been sued." Well ya'll, I'm finally somebody.

Despite it all, there's no way in hell anyone or thing can take this smile off my face. My wallet might be empty, my kids' Christmas might be a little shitty, but fuck anyone if you think you can really take anything away from me.

Rant Over....

BTW, the other half's entire family is coming over tomorrow for early Thanksgiving. And when I say entire family I'm talking brothers, sisters, kids, spouses, step-kids, ex-spouses, aunts, uncles and cousins. Looking at 40+ people as of right now. BUT, I am ready...........



Expect a story next week.

Halloween (one fucking week later)

Thats for sticking your dick in the pumpkin!


So, my favorite day of the year, Halloween, was last Friday. Yeah, I realize I should have blogged about this a week ago, but honey......as much as it pains me to say it, I'm Halloweened out. I guess it doesn't help when you start decorating your house like a ridiculous faggot for halloween one week before October begins, but alas.

Decorations were rocking though, pumpkins carved, ghosts hanging, monsters strapped to the trees in the front yard, a Michael Myers dummy sitting on the bench on the front porch with a strobe light on him. We got a TON of trick or treaters that went through 7 lbs. of candy. This being the first year in the house where we're at now, we didn't know if we'd get many. But I guess our yard said everything but "Come get some fucking candy". I even brought the big house stereo speakers out to play booming horror movie soundtracks.We had parents taking pictures of the house and one of us would jump out and scare the older kids, regular Halloween shit. At the end of the night we had a couple kids come back just to see if they could hang out, and you should have seen all the kids riding their bikes past the house the next day. Was kinda funny.

My hubby went back and forth, as he does every year, saying he's not dressing up and getting mad about it, but we always find something for him at the last minute. Unfortunately this year, my costume was the same way, very last minute and very bad. I was trying for a Wolfman look, but just ended up looking like a retard. My best Dyke friends from my hometown came down to help celebrate, as Halloween is also my birthday. We made the mistake of going out the night before, so by the time trick or treating was done with, and I looked at my stupid costume, and started feeling like shit from drinking too much the night before, I said screw it, I'm staying home for the night. Thus straying from my yearly downtown Halloween shenanigans.

All in all, Halloween was awesome cause of the trick or treaters, but as a birthday it was pretty lame. I'm just glad I got to spend it with a couple of people who give a shit about me, so I guess that's all that rilly matters now, huh?

The Big Lezbowski



She's a dyke, so I don't know if that's a costume or her regular wardrobe?



LAME