So, there's an administrator at the large office in which I work, that lives to send massive emails out to everyone in the company. Just nice little informationals or reminders. Well, this is what was sent out today:
Someone left a large tube of Triple Antibiotic Ointment in the Upper Level Men Restroom. Please come and claim this as soon as possible.
One after one, you could hear the snickers, the repulsive gagging, and the whoops and hollers from up and down the endless rows of cubicles. Most of the time this guy's lost and found emails include earings, gloves, or even at one point in time, a pen. Go figure, in an office.
Well, about 15 minutes later, I receive another email. This time from a guy I know that works down the hall, but rarely talk to other than a quick "howdy" as we pass each other in the hall (and no, we really don't say Howdy".
Someone left a large tube of Cock Lube in the Upper Level Men Restroom. Please come and claim this as soon as possible.
Come to find out, there's a bunch of employees that poke fun at every one of these emails this way. And now I know about it, which really only means that I now have another reason to get shitcanned if I ever get caught distributing these kinds of emails. I can't help it though. Here's one more for good measure:
The Fire Alarm is being taken out this afternoon to cut on cost.
And since we have crappy life insurance we don’t care if you all
burn up. In event that the Alarm sounds, please disregard and
stay in your death trap of a cube. You will not be advised if an
actual emergency condition exists.
And ehre I thought everyone who worked here was dead behind the eyes. There's life out there after all!