Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Monday Night Smackdown

So my apartment complex is pretty decent. My apartment itself rocks and is comfortable as any I've ever lived in. But with apartment life comes "the neighbors".

When I was shown the apartment, the leasing agent proudly exclaimed how since the walls were concrete, living there was almost completely quiet. She is pretty much correct for the most part. I can't hear the neighbors in the unit on top of mine walk around (on wood floors, nonetheless) and I've been known to be a little loud at times socializting into the night, but nothing holds a candle to my next door neighbors. The next door neighbors who's bedroom is right on the other side of the wall as my bedroom.

Now, the strange part about it is, I never see or hear hide nor hair of them ever at all, until 1 a.m. through 4 a.m. Tuesday mornings. To date, I've woken up to 5 arguments, always in this timeframe, always on the same day. The neighbor lady has the absolute most shrill screaming voice I have ever heard in my life. While some of the things they argue about are hysterical, the novelty has worn off and I'm thinking next Tuesday we're going to be filing a noise complaint.

Here are some of the Greatest Hits, as composed by The Neighbors:

I Let You Fuck My Ass and I get No Pleasure.

You're Drunk! Shut Up!

I Can't Help it, it's My OCD!

DON'T YOU EVER BE SARCASTIC!!!!!!! (followed by a loud crash)

And You Think It's Going To Be Different After We Have Kids.

You're Not Worth A Shit in Bed, You Can't Even Get Me Off.

You Never Listen To A Word I Say.

And many more!

I've always thought it was weird that it's always early Tuesday morning that this ALWAYS happens. But then I wonder if they're coming down off of whatever the hell the do over the weekend. The only face to face interaction, I've ever had with the "man" of the house is when he came over to ask if I smoke cigarretes in my bedroom cause he swears he can smell smoke through the concrete walls. I had to tell him No that I don't, but I can smell pot in our entryway whenever they spark up the bong and if they aren't sharing, to put a towel down in front of the door to keep the smell in like you had to do in highschool.

I look forward to see where this ends up, lol. :-)


Ray Ray said...

They sound vile! But entertaining...from a distance...like, me in CA, them where they're at.

jp said...

You totally need to start smoking more in the bedroom.

Okay, you know what I meant.

A Lewis said...

Oh boy. The concrete construction is typically only between floors ....not left and right between the ones to your sides. Lucky you!