I just sent this email to my parents for April fools day. I always pull stuff on them, so I’m sure they’ve already got their armor on. Lets just hope this one sneaks under the wire……. (Thanks for being my unknowing/unwilling participants Kendra and Karissa)
Subject: Announcement from Jon.
Mom and Dad,
I have some very special news that I hope makes you happy. The Ellwanger family is going to be growing by 2. I'm going to be a real daddy!
You remember my lesbian friend Karissa? She's been down on her luck as of late, beings that she broke up with her partner and moved back to Nebraska from Denver. When she was with her partner, Kendra, we had always talked about having a kid between us three, with Karissa being the birthmother and me being the donor. They would have had full custody of the little one, and I would be involved anytime I was able. Their breakup obviously put a curb in these plans.
A few months ago Karissa and I had talked some more about this and decided to still make a go for it. I know it may be a little too much information, but we decided to forgo insemination and decided to try it the good old fashioned way to save on cost. After a few attempts, it happened. We just found out yesterday that not only are we having one child, but she's carrying twins! Dad, looks like I got your twin genes, lol. Hopefully they're identical, but either way, I'm still going to dress them up in matching little outfits.
Oh, by the way, if you forgot that today is April Fools day then good, that means I got ya. So quit grabbing at your chest. If you did remember and read right through this.....dammit.
*******Update from Mother-Dear**********
YOU BIG TURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were just talking with Maria last night about your April Fool's day pranks! this, by far, is the biggest one you ever pulled off in your entire life! I am still laughing about how good you got me. Can't wait to show this to your Dad when he gets home. Hope I can keep a straight face so he will be pranked as well. You are so BAD! By the way, you know we would love and accept a grandchild from you with open arms no matter what.
I love you my crazy son,